Update on my son ~ Overdosed on Sunday

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Im a Believer, Dec 17, 2008.

  1. Im a Believer

    Im a Believer New Member

    Hello my new friends ~ My son has remained in the "regular" hospital since Sunday's attempt - they have been doing testing on his heart that was giving an abnormal EKG reading.

    They are concluding this defect was something he may have been born with and is not life threatening.

    He is not having the best attitude - has been complaining that he is being kept against his will and he is bored.

    Let's see - he is in the nicest hospital in the city and is ordering food left and right from a menu ~ it could be worse.

    He does break down at times in between thinking this is all a joke so I would say he is battling depression.

    We are now waiting for an open bed for a Psyc evaluation.

    I am battling with wanting to be a "caring"mom and having a stricter attitude in his light heartedness about the whole situation.

    Any advice ~ ?

    Thanks ~ Judy
     
  2. goldenguru

    goldenguru New Member

    Judy,

    As you may/may not know, my husband attempted suicide a little over 5 weeks ago. He nearly died. It was a very serious attempt. It was his 2nd attempt in less than two years.

    When he came out of his coma, he too had a 'light heartedness' about him. I believe that it a defense mechanism to cover up what they are truly feeling. Embarrassment, shame, guilt, fear, etc. It took about two weeks (and some serious confrontation) for my hubby to drop the facade and deal with what he was feeling.

    Your son is an adult. I'm not sure what you mean by having a 'stricter attitude'. Personally, I think it might be helpful to 'call' your son on his light heartedness. Remind him that what he did is serious, how it has affected you personally, etc.

    I think it is appropriate to 'speak truth in love' to your son. Do remember, that all suicidal gestures are a cry for something. Maybe it is attention - but that is a cry nonetheless.

    There rarely are simple, clear cut answers. Especially given his drug abuse issues. It all becomes one huge tangled ball. It will take patience and professional skill (and God's grace) to untangle what has taken years to create.

    Hang in there.
     
  3. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Well,

    I've been throught the wringer with both my x and my difficult child on suicide. My x is on attempt 13 when I left him and Dude has 3 under his belt. Each time with my x? Got a little easier until I found myself actually wishing he'd just get it over with - I couldn't take HIS drama any more and because of THAT? I had overwhelming guilt which I addressed with a psychiatrist. With Dude it was different and I just felt helpless...but also addressed it with a psychiatrist.

    The seriousness you speak of I think is frustration in not knowing what to do in this situation. If you've had to deal with it before with adults? It's not the same as with your kids. My x's uncle who lived with us, never came back from Vietnam, and just left a note on the door that said call 911 don't come in. He took his life with a gun. That left me empty like I could have or should have known he was going to commit suicide.

    My best advice is to get some advice with someone who deals with this sort of thing and ask them what they advise because in my humble opinion the counselors are observing your son, they have a better idea of what he needs to hear. Come on too strong? You could push him over the edge. Don't mention it at all? Maybe he thinks he did not do such a great job. But honesty I think comes above everything else- just HOW you say to him what you think is going to be paramount to his healing.

    Hugs - Wish I had better advice but since I don't know your son at this point I'm not going to offer anything other than maybe talk to his counselors.

    Star
     
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I don't have any great advice. I didn't handle it very well when my husband was threatening suicide 12 years ago. I managed to make him stop threatening it to me, but I didn't manage to get him into any real help for the underlying issues.

    My son has attempted suicide several times, starting at age 7, but I really don't know how we got through it. It is rather a blur.

    The only real advice I have is to find a professional you trust, and that HE can trust. Work with this person and don't assume that because your son is out of the hospital he is OK.

    Very gentle hugs.
     
  5. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    No advice at all, Judy. Just a hug.

    Susie
     
  6. Jena

    Jena New Member

    I have no real great advice on this one. I do agree with the fact that he is an adult and that it is appropriate for you to inform him how this is very serious and how it has affected you.

    Sending hugs your way...
     
  7. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    Sending hugs, Judy. I hope your son's condition is continuing to improve.
     
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hope your son is still improving, Judy. Sending hugs.
     
  9. Im a Believer

    Im a Believer New Member

    Good Morning all ~ My son was moved last night to a new P-Hospital in my city.

    He seems to have improved in attitude - he had talked to psychiatrist about going on antidepressants but his bio-dad told him it wasn't a good idea because he might be uninsurable in the future.

    Hopefully my son will listen to the doctor and not his Dad.

    I have figured out alot of things (writing a seperate post) so it seems my son's situation has definitley opened my eyes to someTruth - hopefully it will have the same result on my son.

    Thanks so much for asking.

    Have a Great Weekend ~ Judy
     
    Lasted edited by : Dec 19, 2008
  10. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Judy, I removed the name of the hospital from your post because all it took was a google search and I was able to find out everything about it, including the city and state where it's located. As you know, we don't want our members to post identifiable information to protect your privacy....and to reduce liability for the site.

    Fingers crossed that your son follows the guidance of his therapists and continues to improve.

    Hugs,
    Suz
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2008
  11. Im a Believer

    Im a Believer New Member

    Thanks Suz ~ Sorry!
     
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