Update on my son...

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by toughlovin, Jun 21, 2015.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    So I thought I would give an update on my son which I dont think I have done for a while. As far as I know he did not take a trek into the dessert which is a relief. He did get laid off which just made my heart sink...,. but when I talked to him he had a pretty good attitude about it. He went and talked to his boss (I had made the point not to burn any bridges) and his boss said they were laying off 10% in every department but my son was at the top of his list to rehire... and he would give him a stellar reference!! So that was good.

    In the meantime he has had a 2nd job, so now he is working at that... so he did not stop working at all which is great.

    His FB messages have had a lot of positive posts as well as the normal weird ones. At one point he talked about having his first totally self motivated 24 hours without alcohol or drugs!!! I was very happy to read that, so maybe he is really getting to the point where he is wanting to get sober for himself??

    We are going to visit him in July which he wants too. So I will get a much better sense of how he is doing then but overall my sense is he is really doing pretty well, seems to be figuring things out for himself and is making much better decisions. I think for him, feeling like he is in control of his life, rather than us or a rehab program has been really important and this time he was ready for it. So at this point I am feeling positive and hopeful and our relationship is in a much better place.

  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Sounds like positive steps forward. Even when there is a step back now and again, the overall direction is forward. Glad you will get a chance to go see him again.
  3. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

  4. lovemyson1

    lovemyson1 Active Member

    I'm beginning to believe that letting them do this for themselves is the best way for it to work. This way it's their choice and when one wants to change it has to come from within. Looks like your son is on the start to doing that. Hope your visit goes well toughlovin.
  5. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    I agree although I also think a certain amount of rehab is important too...., my son has been in a lot of programs and I think although he was not totally successful in most of them he did learn a lot in the process.... and I think those things he learned are coming back to him now. I really believe if we had not intervened when he was young that he would be dead by now. He is now 23 and is starting to put things together, and again although he was not successful at staying sober all those programs gave him some clean time for his brain to develop. I think that was important but now it really is his journey and out of my hands..... but when you are talking a teenager I think as parents we have to intervene if we can. My son started using pot at age 14 and I think was drinking before that.
  6. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    TL, so glad to hear this. I agree that I am still hopeful that all of the rehabs my Difficult Child went to actually, maybe soaked in a bit. Who knows why the turnaround and how firm it is? I am just glad today that he is better and I pray it continues.

    Just like your son. Hang in there! Enjoy the peace.