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The Watercooler
update on the man situation
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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 205501" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>thanks, i appreciate your kind words. I'm also the type of person with whom is known to bolt, if my needs are not met like yesterday in anyway or i feel as though i'm being taken for granted, or anything is not looking exactly how it should I immediately run. I have done that before, it wasn't good and i hurt a few very nice men. It was never a relationship like this, living together, etc. it was dating outside the home, every other weekend that sort of thing. So, one thing I do know for sure is i'm growing i know because it hurts lol. we're both stripped down now, the good and the bad is transparent. There isn't anymore hiding his issues or mine. That in itself i Have to admit, although somewhat troubling to realize that we both have alot of issue of our own regardless of difficult child and all the other kids, it is also somewhat refreshing to just be me, whether its good or bad, whether i'm happy or sad i'm just me. No shows, or fronts, he now knows of my past abuse and past life, which i have never shared with anyone. I now know his hurts and paints, his childhood stuff now and his past life with his ex, and emotions and issues that have stemmed from that, as well as his own severe ego issues being she left him for a woman.</p><p></p><p>so, it's all out in the open now. he's also very patient with difficult child, which ofcourse isn't a make it or break it in our interpersonal relationship. Yet i am a package deal. Me, difficult child, and my crazy teenager. So, he handles things really well from the all nighters' to the disappearing teenager at times. He often calms me and centers me when i'm all over the place on a topic of great importance. There's really something to be said for accepting eachother for who you are, truly in it's core not for who you would like someone to be.</p><p></p><p>i am working diligantly on forgetting the past mistakes. in my heart i know that he never did anything physical with anyone else at all. Yet he made alot of mistakes in regards to lying. It was interesting when we sat down to talk for several hours to figure out what we were going to do. He apparentley lived a life for 18 years with his ex whereas he was controlled quite alot. She is quite controlling and aggressive i've personally never met a woman like this. it was all he knew since age 19, yet now he carries over alot of his behaviors or responses from that relationship to ours. He would often lie to her so he wouldn't get yelled at. so, between helping other people covering the lies, etc. whereas with me it's all good. i can be quite understanding on alot of levels. </p><p></p><p>anyway this is turning into a book of sorts.</p><p></p><p>thanks again! lol</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 205501, member: 4514"] thanks, i appreciate your kind words. I'm also the type of person with whom is known to bolt, if my needs are not met like yesterday in anyway or i feel as though i'm being taken for granted, or anything is not looking exactly how it should I immediately run. I have done that before, it wasn't good and i hurt a few very nice men. It was never a relationship like this, living together, etc. it was dating outside the home, every other weekend that sort of thing. So, one thing I do know for sure is i'm growing i know because it hurts lol. we're both stripped down now, the good and the bad is transparent. There isn't anymore hiding his issues or mine. That in itself i Have to admit, although somewhat troubling to realize that we both have alot of issue of our own regardless of difficult child and all the other kids, it is also somewhat refreshing to just be me, whether its good or bad, whether i'm happy or sad i'm just me. No shows, or fronts, he now knows of my past abuse and past life, which i have never shared with anyone. I now know his hurts and paints, his childhood stuff now and his past life with his ex, and emotions and issues that have stemmed from that, as well as his own severe ego issues being she left him for a woman. so, it's all out in the open now. he's also very patient with difficult child, which ofcourse isn't a make it or break it in our interpersonal relationship. Yet i am a package deal. Me, difficult child, and my crazy teenager. So, he handles things really well from the all nighters' to the disappearing teenager at times. He often calms me and centers me when i'm all over the place on a topic of great importance. There's really something to be said for accepting eachother for who you are, truly in it's core not for who you would like someone to be. i am working diligantly on forgetting the past mistakes. in my heart i know that he never did anything physical with anyone else at all. Yet he made alot of mistakes in regards to lying. It was interesting when we sat down to talk for several hours to figure out what we were going to do. He apparentley lived a life for 18 years with his ex whereas he was controlled quite alot. She is quite controlling and aggressive i've personally never met a woman like this. it was all he knew since age 19, yet now he carries over alot of his behaviors or responses from that relationship to ours. He would often lie to her so he wouldn't get yelled at. so, between helping other people covering the lies, etc. whereas with me it's all good. i can be quite understanding on alot of levels. anyway this is turning into a book of sorts. thanks again! lol [/QUOTE]
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