I posted about this first in SA, but I thought I'd post an update here for more visibility. It's too much right now to go into a lot of detail. Here is the cliffs notes version: husband continued to spiral out of control over the past couple of weeks. He was like a runaway train by the time his parents gave the ultimatum: go to rehab, or lose your job. It turns out that on top of drinking way too much, he had also been using harder drugs. I had foolishly entrusted our finances to him years ago, and he drained our bank accounts. There is a lot that I don't know. Apparently he'd been living almost a completely different life in Drugland. He's in a facility now for a 7 day medical detox plus a 60 day stay. The future of my marriage is dim. I just don't see him being able to stay clean and sober. This may be too much to forgive, on top of all the other issues we've had over the years. I have a wonderful therapist and generous inlaws who have promised to support me and the kids no matter what happens with their son, for as long as we need it. I'm planning to start al-anon meetings this week. I have a lot of work to do and a lot of decisions to make. I've been a stay at home mom for almost 15 years. I have a BS degree, but it's basically useless apart from being a base from which to spring for something new. So keep us in your thoughts/prayers/bead rattling/whatever, please. Things are tough, but I actually feel somewhat of a sense of relief knowing that he's gone, safe, and getting treatment. All the worrying and wondering over the years has taken its toll on me. Time to take care of ME. And my boys, of course.