I haven't been around in a while- things have been rocking along fairly drama free- but as we all know, the other shoe always seems to drop. Today's update centers around the fact that as hard as I try- and as much as my "logical" side "gets it"- I have a very hard time dealing with the fact that my son can be so completely UNGRATEFUL. As you know (or may recall), my son has a 9 month old baby (those 9 months have FLOWN by)- and has actually done pretty good- the job he has - he has had since November. He's paying his child support (even though the baby is with him four nights a week and every other weekend, but whatever).... It's always something 'small' that becomes the straw that breaks the camel's back. I keep telling myself that I KNOW how he is, I KNEW this about him- and yet it has gone from just making me angry to actually hurting my feelings. Case in point- he is paid twice a month. Two weeks ago he got paid and he and his sister came by my house to show me what he had gone and bought the baby - things like swimming pampers (that aren't needed until the 2nd week of June when we are going to the coast for one night- tagging along with my daughter on a work trip)- etc. I told him- son, make sure you have gas money put up for NEXT week- don't forget that! "I know, I know" This past saturday- I get a text asking if he can 'borrow' $20 for gas for the week. /sigh. So I reminded him that we had this conversation the weekend before, for one, and for two- we've had this conversation TOO MANY times. You KNOW you need to get back and forth to work, you KNOW you need gas in your car to do this- why, at 23, are you STILL putting your hand out to your 'mommy' and asking for money for things like this? Foolish me, I gave him $20. So stupid. Upon having him follow me to the ATM, I mentioned that the gas station right next to the bank was the same as Stripes (which historically has the cheapest gas in town but is out of the way)- he stated he was going to Stripes (and as I type this I realize how *&%$*@$ stupid this whole conversation is)- takes the money. Leaves. No 'thanks'. No "I'll do better next payday", No "I really appreciate that you help me when I need it". I go home. Sunday morning, I wake up and get on facebook on my tablet and notice he is SELLING his headboard (which was VERY nice, he got it for FREE from his job)- and ok, I'm thinking- now wait a minute. Yesterday, you needed $20 (which I really couldn't afford to give him- I do this, it seems, to my own detriment)- and yet if he sells this- why couldn't he do this yesterday or INSTEAD of asking ME? So I message his sister to just ask why- she mentions that I asked. I just spiraled downhill from there. So where we stand now, in a nutshell: I don't do anything for him, so he's got to do what he's got to do I don't need to worry about what he does I don't need to worry about buying anything for his baby because he can do all that I can't give him a break when he's trying I think he knows how to 'adult' when he's still learning This one, this is on me. But this has hurt my feelings- which is what makes me angry. All I do for him? Too much, for one. I've even told him before (I'm a believer in making your voice heard when someone treats you badly)- all I've ever wanted was a sincere thanks. Seriously. So, he's evidently not talking to me (whatever)- and then was like, if we are going to the coast and you are going to go and tell me what to do (I actually have made a very concerted effort to bite my tongue when he has the baby- seriously- he has to learn and I don't want to be a nag- it's a wonder I have a tongue)....then he won't go and if he doesn't go, then the baby can't go. So I told my daughter I wasn't going to go. If he weren't my son- I'd have NOTHING to do with him. Everyone owes him. I envy those with kids who are loving and thankful and are overall nice people.