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Update to Brrrrrrrother and Meeting.
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 299024" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Star, formal qualifications are what it's all about. Getting the piece of paper however, is what matters. Whether you get the high school diploma, or something that is equivalent - what matters is where you let it take you in life.</p><p></p><p>sister in law didn't do too well in his high school results. He graduated, but his marks weren't high enough for him to get into uni. He drifted for a few years living on unemployment and watching his friends go downhill socially and professionally. We have a college route, it's available for evening classes and used so much for adult education (often replacing high school, providing high school equivalency for older people who never qualified in their youth) thta it's actually a great environemnt for people who had trouble with school for all sorts of reasons. It was originally developed as a place to do the formal study compoonent for apprenticeships, but is' broadened now.</p><p>Well, sister in law did a course. He chose Explosive, because he likes making things go bang. He and his friend did the same course and at one point looked like taking a job working on a goldmine in WA. But at te last minute sister in law felt it wasn't quite right for him. He did another course - computers. Wow, he liked this one and amazingly he got good results. Better than he ever thought he had been capable of.</p><p>So he did another course. And another. Each one was the next stage, the next level up. Once he had gone as far as he could, he had a Diploma from college. Armed with tis diploma, he approached the universities and was offered advanced standing in an IT course. He was therefore able to bypass first year uni and half of second year, which (if you know uni courses!) meant he could bypass a lot of the 'rubbish' fill-in subjects. He went straight to the meat and three veg of the course. And did brilliantly, coming top of his class. So from barely scraping though his high school graduation, he did course tat didn't even need high school graduation, then was able to use them to go into uni and do brilliantly. He had employers knocking on his door bidding for his services. Now he and easy child each earn more than husband & I combined.</p><p></p><p>When we're young, being able to be with our peers and share the same success in the same stages, is all we can think about. But what does it matter in five years time? In ten years time? </p><p></p><p>I did well in high school. We did the graduation thing (as much as we did it in those days in Australia). But for various reasons I did not do well in uni. I finally had to take time out and have my family, then go back to uni when at last I did really well. I finally got my uni degree and got all the paperwork to deal with the graduation ceremony. My employer was supposed to give me the day off to attend graduation - uni graduation is THE big deal here in Australia. The boss was happy for me to go - but I chose not to. It was gonig to cost money, but I had taken so long to finish my degree, I had little connection to my classroom peers. I had attended other graduations and found them to be tedious. For most people they are a marknig of the boundary between education, and employment. I was already working and had been for years, I didn't need that. Plus there were a lot of coss in there - costs to hire the gowns and mortar board, costs for this, costs for that. Only two tickets permitted and husband was not going to be able to get time off work to come watch. easy child 2/difficult child 2 was less than a year old and still breastfed, I would have to make arangements for her.</p><p>So I made the choice to skip my own graduation. I don't regret it. If hI had gone, I would be glad I had done it, but I don't regret not doing it.</p><p></p><p>husband & I (& sister in law, when he was still BF1) went to easy child's graduation. It was as dull as such things usually are, the only exciting moment for us was easy child going up on the stage. We didn't know anybody else, none of the speeches' in jokes made sense to us. It meant more to easy child to have us there, than for us to be there. We already KNOW she's a bright girl!</p><p></p><p>And now she's been working in her chosen profession for the last few years, her graduation is a fading memory, meaningless in terms of her life NOW. What matters now is how she lives her life, in her work and in her home. As for sister in law - he is so happy in his profession, and very much valued. His high schooling was a mess, but he has dragged himself up by his bootstraps, from a very rough start.</p><p>Please share this with Dude and help him see that he is finally making great progress in getting on with the most important part of his life - the rest of it.</p><p></p><p>There are other plans after Plan B, too. There is a whole alphabet and more. Dud'es generation will have five or more careers in succession. I look at easy child, who is 27. So far she has been a dance teacher, a dancer, a singer, and now an Occupational Therapist. Her original aim was to work with children but took a jon in geriatrics while she waited for the paeds opening. Then she has found her niche in geriatrics. But now she's moving into community health and from here, who knows?</p><p></p><p>sister in law was at first unemployed, then studying explosives. Then studying cmputers. He was on social security most of his life (one form or another) and now WORKS for them, keepnig their computers running well and their software behaving itself. He thought it was funny, when he first began his first real job - he still got his cheques from Centrelink! ONly now, it's for a bit more than previously...</p><p></p><p>easy child 2/difficult child 2 has been a singer, a circus performer, a face painter (all round circus brat) and then a photographic model, an actress, a teacher of circus skills, a checkout chick (two different stores) and now is studying formally to teach young children.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 is only 15 but has already done paid work as an actor. It is NOT his planned career path! He will go into computers for sure, probably taking the same route as sister in law.</p><p></p><p>So encourage Dude - it may take him a little longer but while he waits, there are other alternatives he can follow, to boost his chances. He can do volunteer work of various sorts and ALL volunteer work makes him look good to a future employer. He should get on te computer and write up his own CV now, and from here on keep it updated. It's much easier to quickly update a CV, than to begin one from scratch. Voluunteer work should get listed because it's all brownie points.</p><p></p><p>One suggestion for volunteer work - go visit old people in retirement homes or nursing homes. Take a tape recorder and get them talking. Especially focus on veterans, or pioneers - stories don't get told until too late, then only half a story (if that) is the only legacy. Dude then types up the transcripts and passes it on to whoever the person is willnig to let have it (usually family). ALWAYS keep a copy somewhere on file. Sometimes what tey see may seem mundane or boring. It's only years later that it seems more important, as such information gets lost.</p><p></p><p>In the process of doing this, he will learn about himself. He will learn technical skills, he will learn social interaction skills, he will learn patience and negotiation. And because it's voluntary, he can walk away if he's having a bad day.</p><p></p><p>Star, think back to your earliest memories. They probably don't seem to be anything special, because there are many other people who share similar memories. But in years to come, such information will be much more scarce. </p><p></p><p>Maybe Dude could write a book about his own life so far, with a view to helping other kids who might be walking into the same problems he had. And even if he is illiterate, it doesn't matter. There is a way. I've published a book for a woman who is illiterate (or should I say, WAS). Her determination saw her thghout and her ability now to write and use a computer is amazing.</p><p></p><p>He sounds like he now has the determination. There will be obstacles and he won't be alone in being a person who has to face them. But if he can keep this determination, he will find ways to get places.</p><p></p><p>I said it before - he's a credit to you. Please share with him what I have said, about where the world can take him from here.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 299024, member: 1991"] Star, formal qualifications are what it's all about. Getting the piece of paper however, is what matters. Whether you get the high school diploma, or something that is equivalent - what matters is where you let it take you in life. sister in law didn't do too well in his high school results. He graduated, but his marks weren't high enough for him to get into uni. He drifted for a few years living on unemployment and watching his friends go downhill socially and professionally. We have a college route, it's available for evening classes and used so much for adult education (often replacing high school, providing high school equivalency for older people who never qualified in their youth) thta it's actually a great environemnt for people who had trouble with school for all sorts of reasons. It was originally developed as a place to do the formal study compoonent for apprenticeships, but is' broadened now. Well, sister in law did a course. He chose Explosive, because he likes making things go bang. He and his friend did the same course and at one point looked like taking a job working on a goldmine in WA. But at te last minute sister in law felt it wasn't quite right for him. He did another course - computers. Wow, he liked this one and amazingly he got good results. Better than he ever thought he had been capable of. So he did another course. And another. Each one was the next stage, the next level up. Once he had gone as far as he could, he had a Diploma from college. Armed with tis diploma, he approached the universities and was offered advanced standing in an IT course. He was therefore able to bypass first year uni and half of second year, which (if you know uni courses!) meant he could bypass a lot of the 'rubbish' fill-in subjects. He went straight to the meat and three veg of the course. And did brilliantly, coming top of his class. So from barely scraping though his high school graduation, he did course tat didn't even need high school graduation, then was able to use them to go into uni and do brilliantly. He had employers knocking on his door bidding for his services. Now he and easy child each earn more than husband & I combined. When we're young, being able to be with our peers and share the same success in the same stages, is all we can think about. But what does it matter in five years time? In ten years time? I did well in high school. We did the graduation thing (as much as we did it in those days in Australia). But for various reasons I did not do well in uni. I finally had to take time out and have my family, then go back to uni when at last I did really well. I finally got my uni degree and got all the paperwork to deal with the graduation ceremony. My employer was supposed to give me the day off to attend graduation - uni graduation is THE big deal here in Australia. The boss was happy for me to go - but I chose not to. It was gonig to cost money, but I had taken so long to finish my degree, I had little connection to my classroom peers. I had attended other graduations and found them to be tedious. For most people they are a marknig of the boundary between education, and employment. I was already working and had been for years, I didn't need that. Plus there were a lot of coss in there - costs to hire the gowns and mortar board, costs for this, costs for that. Only two tickets permitted and husband was not going to be able to get time off work to come watch. easy child 2/difficult child 2 was less than a year old and still breastfed, I would have to make arangements for her. So I made the choice to skip my own graduation. I don't regret it. If hI had gone, I would be glad I had done it, but I don't regret not doing it. husband & I (& sister in law, when he was still BF1) went to easy child's graduation. It was as dull as such things usually are, the only exciting moment for us was easy child going up on the stage. We didn't know anybody else, none of the speeches' in jokes made sense to us. It meant more to easy child to have us there, than for us to be there. We already KNOW she's a bright girl! And now she's been working in her chosen profession for the last few years, her graduation is a fading memory, meaningless in terms of her life NOW. What matters now is how she lives her life, in her work and in her home. As for sister in law - he is so happy in his profession, and very much valued. His high schooling was a mess, but he has dragged himself up by his bootstraps, from a very rough start. Please share this with Dude and help him see that he is finally making great progress in getting on with the most important part of his life - the rest of it. There are other plans after Plan B, too. There is a whole alphabet and more. Dud'es generation will have five or more careers in succession. I look at easy child, who is 27. So far she has been a dance teacher, a dancer, a singer, and now an Occupational Therapist. Her original aim was to work with children but took a jon in geriatrics while she waited for the paeds opening. Then she has found her niche in geriatrics. But now she's moving into community health and from here, who knows? sister in law was at first unemployed, then studying explosives. Then studying cmputers. He was on social security most of his life (one form or another) and now WORKS for them, keepnig their computers running well and their software behaving itself. He thought it was funny, when he first began his first real job - he still got his cheques from Centrelink! ONly now, it's for a bit more than previously... easy child 2/difficult child 2 has been a singer, a circus performer, a face painter (all round circus brat) and then a photographic model, an actress, a teacher of circus skills, a checkout chick (two different stores) and now is studying formally to teach young children. difficult child 3 is only 15 but has already done paid work as an actor. It is NOT his planned career path! He will go into computers for sure, probably taking the same route as sister in law. So encourage Dude - it may take him a little longer but while he waits, there are other alternatives he can follow, to boost his chances. He can do volunteer work of various sorts and ALL volunteer work makes him look good to a future employer. He should get on te computer and write up his own CV now, and from here on keep it updated. It's much easier to quickly update a CV, than to begin one from scratch. Voluunteer work should get listed because it's all brownie points. One suggestion for volunteer work - go visit old people in retirement homes or nursing homes. Take a tape recorder and get them talking. Especially focus on veterans, or pioneers - stories don't get told until too late, then only half a story (if that) is the only legacy. Dude then types up the transcripts and passes it on to whoever the person is willnig to let have it (usually family). ALWAYS keep a copy somewhere on file. Sometimes what tey see may seem mundane or boring. It's only years later that it seems more important, as such information gets lost. In the process of doing this, he will learn about himself. He will learn technical skills, he will learn social interaction skills, he will learn patience and negotiation. And because it's voluntary, he can walk away if he's having a bad day. Star, think back to your earliest memories. They probably don't seem to be anything special, because there are many other people who share similar memories. But in years to come, such information will be much more scarce. Maybe Dude could write a book about his own life so far, with a view to helping other kids who might be walking into the same problems he had. And even if he is illiterate, it doesn't matter. There is a way. I've published a book for a woman who is illiterate (or should I say, WAS). Her determination saw her thghout and her ability now to write and use a computer is amazing. He sounds like he now has the determination. There will be obstacles and he won't be alone in being a person who has to face them. But if he can keep this determination, he will find ways to get places. I said it before - he's a credit to you. Please share with him what I have said, about where the world can take him from here. Marg [/QUOTE]
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