I want to thank everyone who gave positive suggestions to help me through a rough time. I am still having to catch myself (and being caught by my girlfriend) being negative. As I have explained to her, I am holding onto events that have happened recently and there is no resolution/repercussion for. He was caught using my gaming device again (after having it taken away at his friends house/stay over). He received no "punishment". He got into my tools, again (working on getting a key for the lock), to steal a rim and tire from my bike, his mother found him doing this and told him "dont be using tools that arent yours" then left because she was running late to an appointment. After finding the theft and all my tools left in the driveway, no "punishment". Yesterday, he was found at his Aunt's house, all the way across town from the friend's house he was supposed to be at, and he got there by stealing my son's bike and hiding it at his Aunt's house. The "natural consequence" was that because he wasnt where he was supposed to be, he missed out on hanging out with his grandparents during their visit. Before discovering the missing bike I got a bit upset because he took a laptop from his brother, who was watching a show, so he could watch a movie. After this event I had a private talk with my girlfriend and expressed that I dont think he is getting consequences that are equal to the offense. Her reply was that she doesnt have the energy or the patience to deal with his outbursts, I.e if the Tv is taken away we might get another hole in the wall, or smash another broom through the tile on the dining table. I told her this is exactly the problem. He knows the bigger his fits, the least likely she is going to do anything in the future. I asked her how this is setting him up for the future? What example is this setting for the other kids? The good news is, I have gotten through my "crisis" and am trying to react better. I have decided to calmly let my girlfriend know whats happening, let her deal with the situation, back her up if needed, and we talk about the outcome later.