Where to start...After the disaster with the day treatment of difficult child 14ss. We are still doing weekly psychiatrist appts. trying to straighten out medications. Needless to say he has occuppied our thoughts. Still struggling....... Meanwhile difficult child 16sd has been reserved since her sisters wedding (we let her go with her mom...who brought her back....mom was tipsy and had a young man B with her...family friend..brother of her sis new hubby..)She has gone to stay the night at a friends (one she had been arguing with and was once again her bestest friend..shes borderline...so the love/hate is not so unusual) twice since the wedding approx 5 weeks ago. I took easy child(who apparently has her own drama during this..more on that in a bit) shopping. My other three graduate this year. Getting ready for their party. We get home and difficult child 16sd and husband are in a heated argument. (She has repeatedly told us at 17 the police will not do anything if you leave home...sadly around here it is true..real hard to get them to go look for one that left on their own) He found her with a cell phone (she had it once before said it was her friends and she was charging it) She had also been sporting jewlery ..ring... that was too big for her friend so she was letting her wear it. I'll spare all the little details. But she kept pressing that she had to have the phone back. B(20+ guy)a friends cousin (lie) got her the phone and is paying her friends mom to let her use it. (she has a locked phone ...but not good enough for her)She had all her numbers in it and had been contacting all her old friends and biomom. husband said that her friends mom will have to contact him to get the phone. husband had grounded her and took all the phones away. Told her she broke all trust and had probably jeopordized her chances for a summer job and car. Then she starts screaming that she doesnt see what the big deal is anyway shes almost 18 then she can do whatever she wants and we cant stop her from talking to or seeing whoever she wants. (She has repeatedly told us at 17 the police will not do anything if you leave home...sadly around here it is true..real hard to get them to go look for one that left on their own) husband and I have been talking about the fact that this summer she was probably leaving when she turns 17 in three months She continued to yell and rant. (this has been building for sometime, the stress level at our home is enormous. She has been her about 2 1/2 years) husband said enough, Call your mom she can come pick you up. (her mom had been encouraging this relationship with B and that she will rescue her from our house since she first came here.) She leaves..she did not say goodbye to husband..but went in to ask him if she could have the phone back..We took away her drivers permit and the gym membership and kept all the phones. The pics in the phone were locked. easy child knew the code. Naked pics of B. Then we get the rest of the story (paul harvey..thanks) Her friends mom had been allowing them to use her house as a safe house..leting them stay the night together..haveing sex and who knows what else. She apparently became engaged over texting the day after her sis wedding. Her other family members knew. They think its cute/sweet. So she is mad and calls to chew us out (her biomom let her call) for taking her things. (we let her take all her clothes and belongings..including two new dresses for the party whe will not be attending) I told her we were not going to be the responsibilty behind her permit any longer since she no longer lived here. These were priviliges associated with living in our house within our guidelines. She then tells me easy child is no angel. (mostly due to her influence...but does not make it right) so easy child tells me she was talking to someone she probably shouldnt have been (33) and went to the movies once with difficult child and another guy we did know about. fast forward to the next day. bio calls we sent a letter allowing grandmom to have care of difficult child. for school and medical care. This is not good enough. Biomom told me her mother does everthing for her as she has no time. (this has been what has happened in the past...so I cut out the middleman and gave auth directly to gma) Well she goes off on husband. kept calling back to yell some more. I finally tell her we are at the office. if difficult child has an emergency need we will speak to her otherwise she could call at home in the evening. She came unglued and starts attacking me and easy child, that my DAUGHTER is dating a man in his 30"S and I had better look into that. easy child and difficult child see guys in very different lights. I was not about to engage with her..what would be the point. I am very disappointed in easy child. she knew this stuff was going on and did not let us know. But she didn't want to face difficult child is she got angry and I can understand that too. easy child turns 18 today. She is sad/depressed with difficult child gone. They had become friends as well as stepsisters. I am so very sad at the choices difficult child has made. I have a uncle that works with the juvenile dept. He kept telling me you can only do so much. The change has to come from themselves. She had made such strides. I do not undertand why she would want to sabotage her future. I dont think she will finish school as she is now turning 17 this summer and repeating the 9th (if they dont enroll her in school soon) This has been a big issue at her bio moms home before. Have we done the right thing? We did what we could. Nothing else for her was going to change. She would have continued to escalate over the next few months. easy child was planning on moving out to get away from the drama. We'll see what happens next.