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<blockquote data-quote="hearthope" data-source="post: 94428" data-attributes="member: 2389"><p>I am thinking on the lines of a probation period, but in order for him to get a job, he has to have transportation (country living, no bus or taxi service)I think that allowing him to move back home would hinder any progress he has made and any progress that we (husband,easy child and I) have made to heal from the pain from the past. So, that would mean he would need help with his own place and I would have to sign a lease.</p><p></p><p> I will be very honest and say there are some days I believe he has changed so much and I am excited about him getting out and there are other days that take me back to times in the past and I want no part of it.</p><p></p><p>I do feel that enough has happened that I can't be in a position of authority over him at all. I know that what ever help he gets from me it has to be gifted, I can't be the one to hold strings to it and say do this, this and this to get the gift.</p><p></p><p>I have had no training to change my thought patterns and I would revert back to the mom and little boy and that would only harm us both. </p><p></p><p>We are both in a safe place now. It is sort of a therapy session each sunday. Each of us take our turns talking to him and learning how to communicate again. We stopped being able to sit and talk with him a long time ago. With him in jail, we are relaxed enough at home to sit and share with one another and start to act like a family again.</p><p></p><p>Suz ~ his jail time is from stupid acts of theft while he and his difficult child buddies were high</p><p></p><p>Janet ~ I have followed you and Ant from the start of finding this board, you are an inspiration and God has a plan for Ant!</p><p></p><p>GG ~ I am seeing that I will have to help in order to see that he is helping himself. He has to have some support to see if he is trying to make a change, he will be released with nothing.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Traci</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearthope, post: 94428, member: 2389"] I am thinking on the lines of a probation period, but in order for him to get a job, he has to have transportation (country living, no bus or taxi service)I think that allowing him to move back home would hinder any progress he has made and any progress that we (husband,easy child and I) have made to heal from the pain from the past. So, that would mean he would need help with his own place and I would have to sign a lease. I will be very honest and say there are some days I believe he has changed so much and I am excited about him getting out and there are other days that take me back to times in the past and I want no part of it. I do feel that enough has happened that I can't be in a position of authority over him at all. I know that what ever help he gets from me it has to be gifted, I can't be the one to hold strings to it and say do this, this and this to get the gift. I have had no training to change my thought patterns and I would revert back to the mom and little boy and that would only harm us both. We are both in a safe place now. It is sort of a therapy session each sunday. Each of us take our turns talking to him and learning how to communicate again. We stopped being able to sit and talk with him a long time ago. With him in jail, we are relaxed enough at home to sit and share with one another and start to act like a family again. Suz ~ his jail time is from stupid acts of theft while he and his difficult child buddies were high Janet ~ I have followed you and Ant from the start of finding this board, you are an inspiration and God has a plan for Ant! GG ~ I am seeing that I will have to help in order to see that he is helping himself. He has to have some support to see if he is trying to make a change, he will be released with nothing. Traci [/QUOTE]
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