Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by PonyGirl, Apr 24, 2008.

  1. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    I had been trying to call difficult child for about a week now, and getting the automated message that his cell phone is no longer in service.

    Well, I figured that couldn't be good news.

    I was outside on my deck last evening, enjoying the gorgeous weather and talking with an old friend on my cellphone, when I hear my house-phone ringing inside. I walk in to check the caller ID, and see "Payphone" and think, oh, maybe it's difficult child. I said to my friend, 'hold on, I'm gonna let the machine pick up this call & if it's difficult child, I'll talk to him."

    The machine picked up. And I hear the dreaded recording, "To accept these charges, press 0, to deny these charges, press 1. This is a collect call from __(difficult child says his name)__ an inmate at Stupid County Jail."

    So, I did not pick up the phone. Just couldn't. He tried calling one more time about 20 minutes later, but I still didn't pick up the phone. My head is just spinning.

    The only thing I've decided is, easy child has a track meet tonite, and Prom this Saturday. I am not going to deal with any difficult child issues until next week. I am going to enjoy some more good easy child stuff, and especially not burden him with the new knowledge that his brother has once again lost his freedom.

    I guess I knew this was coming, but I am still devastated. Part of me doesn't even want to know the latest details. Whatever. So, I am once again reaching out to you my friends, people who know how I feel.

  2. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    I so know this pain that just strikes to your heart......I think you have the right idea about enjoying the good parts of your life. difficult child is 22, he has a place to "stay", won't be using this weekend, enjoy the other parts of life......
  3. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Sorry. been there done that. Enjoy the good moments with easy child over the weekend. difficult child is safe and dry and not hungry. That's about all we can hope for when they continue to use.
  4. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    Hi Pony,
    I think you made a good decision to not pick up the phone and to concentrate on easy child this weekend. And I know what you mean about not wanting to burden easy child with this new info. I feel the same way about difficult child 1 and difficult child 2. I posted a new thread about my situation (not nearly as bad as yours) and I am dreading to have to tell difficult child 2 that her sister is still a liar after we were starting to trust her again.

    I am so sorry, I do indeed think I have an idea how you feel. I am thinking of you this morning,
  5. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry. This must be so hard.
  6. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Hope easy child has a super time at the prom. What fun the watching the preparations, the nerves, the smiles are. Takes lots of pictures. E N J O Y !!!!!!

    Deal with difficult child when and if you feel able. As awful as it sounds, put him as far into the background as you humanly can right now. He can always write you a letter.

  7. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat


    I am so sorry that this is happening. But I see how detached you are, and I think it is very good for you and easy child. Still, hugs for your mommy heart.

    I hope easy child does great in his track meet, and I hope he has a blast at prom!
  8. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Thanks everybody! easy child said last week, people were talking about how "Prom is a waste of money" and he said, "I figure I'm gonna Rock that Tux for about 10 hours, that makes it about $10.00 an hour. Pretty good deal!" What a great attitude.

    I checked on our local circuit court website this morning. difficult child has a traffic ticket for speeding 20 miles over the limit back on 3/30/08. Fairly certain that isn't the sole reason he's sitting in jail, but could perhaps be the straw that broke the PO's back.

    Small relief that it's not a DUI charge, or possession charge showing up, but fear that could be forthcoming. Our county is famous for letting things sit in a drawer awhile before filing charges.

    My new mantra? "Whatever"........

  9. mom_to_3

    mom_to_3 Active Member

    Great (and healthy) mantra!
  10. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    :warrior:When I got home from easy child's Track Meet last night (his team won the 4x800 relay, yay!) another message awaited me on the machine:

    "Hi mom, it's difficult child. Uh....I tried to call you yesterday...from jail.....groan.....argh....Sorry about that....I'm not in jail anymore, and I still have a job and all that....Thought I should let you know that....And also calling to see if you'd go to the meeting with me next Wednesday....." That is our AA Meeting we had gone to together for about a year while he was in jail.
    My first thought? What a tool. :crazy2:

    Second thought? Well, something's got him "scared straight" again.

    Whatever!! I will wait to see what happens next. Not sure if I'll go to the meeting or not, I'll see how I feel next Wednesday.

    Completely grateful he does still have his job!!

    Thanks everybody for being here for me, and sending prayers & good thoughts.

  11. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I hate hate hate AUDIX - the jailers way to rape parents legally of money at 4.95+ a minute. Talk about a bendover.

    Pony...You dont' have a good son and a bad son - you have 2 sons. One is needy and looking for his way. The other rocks the room in his tux. What a blessing to have two so totally opposite kids. You get to see the best of everything you know. When your tux kid does something - it's just a smile. When the other kid actually didn't loose his job? THAT IS HUGE -isn't it. But if he wasn't like he is, how would you ever know to appreciate the things that you do?

    I love the new mantra - I'm using uh huh - because when I said WHATEVER - I got it slammed back at me like a 12 year old little girl - except it looks a whole lot more dumb on a 17 year old boy acting up repeating and mocking me "What.....evvvvvvvvvveerrrrrrrrrrrrr." and then twisting his face. He has not found a mock - for "uh huh" yet. lol

    Hang in there - Hugs