Update

[DenitaS]

Well, I haven't been on in awhile and figured I would give you guys a quick rundown of what is going on here.
difficult child 1 got out of the hospital and was NO better off then before. We had problem after problem for weeks. Finally at the hearing last Friday they told her she would have to move out and that she could temporarily stay with a friend until they could place her. Since then, she has decided that she wants to go back to TX and live with a family there. I talked to the Social Worker and they said that that would be ok. We are now waiting on the Parental Allocation to go through for the baby. (he will stay with us) I don't really know how I feel about all of this other than doubting my EVERY move. I know that Fostering or Residential Treatment Center (RTC) will do her no good because she isn't willing to give any! She can't live with me and she doesn't know a suitable family locally to stay with.
Do you ever feel like you have just given up on them???? How much can you really do for them before they start doing for themselves?

 

[JJJ]

I'm glad you are able to keep the baby. At 16, so much of this is in her hands. Detach and hope that she will be able to start helping herself soon.

 

[susiestar]

Hugs. It must be so hard for you, esp with having to take custody of hte grandbaby when you were used to life with older kids. Thanks for the updates, please know my prayers and good wishes are with you.

 

[slsh]

Denita - I'm sorry things are still so hard with difficult child right now, but I am glad that you will be keeping the baby.

I'm also finding it really hard to balance helping, enabling, and giving up. Even when I stop doing for him, he still won't pick up the slack and do for himself. It terrifies me when I think about what it may take for him to finally start taking control of his own life. I wish he was a battery I could just jump start!!!

Do you think the family in TX is a good place for her to be? Will the change in scenery help?

I don't know, Denita. I really relate to doubting every move you make but I think we can only do the best we can and try to make the wisest choices that we can (and that our kids will allow). Hang in there!! You're most definitely not alone.

 

[Pookybear66]

(((hugs to you and all those involved))) I hope the change of scenery and maybe some changes in her lifestyle will help her get back on track. Enjoy the baby as much as you can because they are so innocent. If this lasts any length of time, make sure the baby and mother have some sort of contact if possible by videos, cards + letters, phone, whatever. I believe it will benefit both of them immensely.