Update!

klmno

Active Member
Good morning- this is good advice! I will try to review DDD, Marg's, Susie's, and other's advice right before I leave. This also reminded me to find the fax forms showing that things were faxed to the PO's number, the date, and that they went through good. One even has my specific request saying how much we needed help and "please help get county on board quick". I think that was before I even put the letter into judge. I won't go in whipping that stuff out, but if I am "attacked" and asked about it, I can at least use it in defense.

Fortunately, I have never yelled or hit my fist or interrupted the PO in court. When I said I'm sure I was visibly angry, I mean I'm the type of person that shows extreme emotion/moods by my facial expressions. The last time we were in court and the PO stood up out of the blue and said something deragotory or "implying" something about me, I just looked at the judge and the judge looked at me, the judge said "ok" to the PO and went right on. She did nothing to address or respond what the PO said, other than the acknowledgement that she heard her.

The judge used to be a school teacher and I can tell that she communicates a lot by just looking at someone and she pays A LOT of attention to everyone's body language and facial expression. I noticed that with her glancing at me, the attny's and difficult child a whole lot the last court.

For instance, (this has nothing to do with PO), the last court I was testifying about difficult child's improvement but was still trying to get a point across to difficult child in court that I did not condone his "trespassing" incident which is why he was there. (He and a friend had gone into someone's yard shed- didn't steal anything, but still had no business doing it). I was on the stand looking at difficult child and saying that I KNEW he COULD push bad thoughts out of his mind and learn to take action on good thoughts instead of acting impusively. When I started using simpler words and loooking straight at difficult child, everyone noticed that I was making sure difficult child knew that I wasn't making excuses for him. And, I mentioned his favorite teacher who happened to also believe in him. I noticed that as I said that, difficult child looked down and smiled as he thought about this teacher. Then I noticed that the judge started to smile, too, but caught herself and looked away from difficult child quickly, as she is not supposed to show feelings like that in front of the defendent. Then, when the GAL tesified to judge that the sd had realized the past school year that difficult child's problem was not defiance, as they used to think and that his behavior at school had greatly improved, it indirectly confirmed that difficult child was really working on things and getting better and the judge I think, knew I was telling the truth.

Let's just hope things go as well today!! I'm more nervous this time though, because I have to testify against difficult child and advocate for him at the same time. I just keep reminding myself that he is lucky it is me and not someone from school or community that he did this to and that this last action of his was a big warning sign and opportunity to get him intensive help now, with hopes it doesn't ever get to a point where he does this to someone else or even me again and God forbid, that he takes it further next time. I hope there never is a next time.

I am the one that adviocated for outpatient help that I would get for him privately before. Now that he needs more, I hope they don't look at this like "the mother's plan didn't work- so lock him in juvy". That might be PO's position. I'm looking at it like when it got to a point where out-patient wasn't enough, I am the one took appropriate steps to try to get more help, but that help was not accessed (by PO) so I put the letter into the judge but this last incident happened before the judge's clerk had a chance to set the hearing date/time for it. The letter and clerk's note that judge had approved that, all written prior to this incident, is proof.
 
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Marguerite

Active Member
You advocated for outpatient help before. The outcome showed that it was valid, just insufficient. You know now that he needs even more. That doesn't mean that what you did before failed. Not a bit of it. It just wasn't quite enough to succeed.

All the best with it. Go get 'em!

Marg
 

klmno

Active Member
The words just came to me- mental health treatment is approached like a student's placement on his IEP- the LRE must be tried first. If it gets to a point where the minimum is not effective, you don't jump to the extreme or give up on the person, you need to go to the next level of services, which at that point, is the LRE.
 

artana

New Member
klmno,
I admire your courage, always. I am so glad that he got the medicaid funding and I hope her gets to go to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) soon! I don't think I can add much to this discussion, but I wanted you to know that you are definitely a great example of advocating for your children.
 
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