Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by TYLERFAN, Apr 8, 2007.


    TYLERFAN New Member

    Hi Family:

    These last 2 weeks have been nuts! I went back to work full-time and by the time I am finished at night I am ready to collapse. Fiance has been wonderful helping me with Baby J.
    Yesterday difficult child had a overnight at her recovery house with Baby J. In fact he is still there. difficult child just called me and she thinks Baby J isn't feeling well. He is warm and has a runny nose. Hasn't wanted to eat much since I brought him to her. She told me she didn't want me to pick him up because "how will she learn what to do when she has him back and he gets sick"....I can't really argue with that, however, I am hoping she will call back and ask me to come get him.
    Fiance thinks that I shouldn't have let difficult child have the baby at the recovery house.He thinks that difficult child's relapse and pregnancy, all within the last 6 weeks is reason enough not to let her have him on her own. He wants her to only visit him here. I kind of agree, but on the other hand, he is her baby and we didn't stipulate in the custody agreement that the visits be only here.
    What do you guys think?
    Sorry I haven't really been here for awhile. I feel terrible that I haven't been posting to any of your posts. Just know that I am praying and thinking about all of you.

    Thanks for listening.

  2. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I think you have to do what you feel comfortable with. I know you have baby J's care first and foremost on your mind all the time, so you should know in your heart what is best.

    Hopefully she will call soon and ask you to pick him up though. I'm sure you and fiance will both feel better having him home.
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I didn't realize she was still pregnant.

    Karen is right. The choices are up to you. I would imagine that
    J is a bit stressed with all the changes of the past few weeks
    also. He is used to having you there 24/7 and now he is going
    to a sitter in a different environment. At night he is used to
    being in his bed, in his house, with you and SO. At difficult child's he
    probably has alot more activity and strangers around. That's alot of new stuff in a short time. DDD
  4. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I agree with Karen. You know what the recovery house is like, is that a place for him? Of course it's her baby, but his safety and welfare come first. A short visit maybe would be a good idea-is she allowed to come to your house for a while? You could take a nap and she could be alone with J.-Alyssa
  5. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I think that under the circumstances supervised visits at your house is reasonable. -RM
  6. kris

    kris New Member

    <span style='font-size: 14pt'> <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style="color: #006600"> given the recent relapse & the pregnancy i'm with-fiance on this one. supervised visitation only. i certainly wouldn't have allowed an overnight visit either.

    </span> </span> </span>
  7. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I too would think that she can see the baby while you are present and not on her own. she has not displayed stable behavior for a long enough time yet. the baby needs consistency.

    TYLERFAN New Member

    You guys are right. We have decided to try and keep the overnight visits here.
    She did ok but the baby is teething and as soon as he was not "fun" any more....she wasn't so upset about us taking him home. We actually got to pick him up 5 hours early. I don't like to leave him with her but the custody stipulation didn't specify supervised visits.....we thought that would give difficult child a chance....sigh. I guess we did the wrong thing. She has so much to learn about being an adult and a parent.

  9. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member


    Glad to hear the baby is okay, and that difficult child didn't put up a fight about you picking him up early. Yes, due to her recent relapse and new pregnancy, I would also be leery about letting her keep him alone or overnight.

    Congrats on the new job, by the way!