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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 495957" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I really hate being frozen out of my child's care and/or education. difficult child 3 is currently seeing a specialist employment counsellor at an agency for people with disabilities. The guy keeps me out of the appointments and doesn't even talk to me any more about the issues. He has told difficult child 3 he expects him to keep up with what he has to do. Things like make sure he shaves and combs his hair before an appointment. I need to know too, because although difficult child 3 is about to turn 18, that's just due to a date on his birth certificate. Inside his head, he's a six year old kid with a high IQ. difficult child 3's idea of cleanliness is wearing a really good deodorant each day will remove the need for a shower more than once a fortnight.</p><p></p><p>Kids like ours will take a lot longer to be self-sufficient, and they shouldn't shut out parents just because "She should be able to do this without support at her age."</p><p></p><p>I found, with some of difficult child 3's teachers who tried this tack, that if I made myself available (reading a book or doing some paperwork out of earshot but within available range) then they quickly learned that I was a resource, not a hindrance. </p><p></p><p>With that flakey teacher, I'd be going over her head at the first sign of problems. You can't cancel on a kid like this. It sends a message that the teacher can't be bothered, that the child is a nuisance who does not deserve good support.</p><p></p><p>I hope things settle down for you soon. This sounds very disruptive. Sometimes you have to let the education side go hang until the medical stuff can be sorted out.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 495957, member: 1991"] I really hate being frozen out of my child's care and/or education. difficult child 3 is currently seeing a specialist employment counsellor at an agency for people with disabilities. The guy keeps me out of the appointments and doesn't even talk to me any more about the issues. He has told difficult child 3 he expects him to keep up with what he has to do. Things like make sure he shaves and combs his hair before an appointment. I need to know too, because although difficult child 3 is about to turn 18, that's just due to a date on his birth certificate. Inside his head, he's a six year old kid with a high IQ. difficult child 3's idea of cleanliness is wearing a really good deodorant each day will remove the need for a shower more than once a fortnight. Kids like ours will take a lot longer to be self-sufficient, and they shouldn't shut out parents just because "She should be able to do this without support at her age." I found, with some of difficult child 3's teachers who tried this tack, that if I made myself available (reading a book or doing some paperwork out of earshot but within available range) then they quickly learned that I was a resource, not a hindrance. With that flakey teacher, I'd be going over her head at the first sign of problems. You can't cancel on a kid like this. It sends a message that the teacher can't be bothered, that the child is a nuisance who does not deserve good support. I hope things settle down for you soon. This sounds very disruptive. Sometimes you have to let the education side go hang until the medical stuff can be sorted out. Marg [/QUOTE]
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