Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by SocRocks, Apr 3, 2012.

  1. SocRocks

    SocRocks New Member

    Its been a while since I have been able to get on the forum. I have dropped out of my last semester of school to try focus more on my youngest son, who now has been diagnosed with Autism. We found a new pediatrician Neuro doctor who also specializes in sleep disorders for children. The new doctor is further away by about 30 mins,but well worth it. My hubby and I are trying to decide if we are going to send him to Kindergarten in the fall or back to Pre-K. Some days I feel like crying. He sleep is better after starting risperidone, but it could be better. Some days I feel like crying. I just want to help my son, and their are really no support groups in my area. Does anyone have any advice?
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member


    Have you had him evaluated by the school yet? I'd recommend that as a starting point for makeing the PK v K decision. He may do best in an Early Childhood classroom (can be ages 3-8 depending on the district).
  3. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I would ask the pre-k teacher(s) what their opinion is. They see him in the classroom and they have a pretty good idea how he interacts with the other kids and how he is able to cope. They will be able to give you a decent idea if they think that the can handle the challenges of a kindergarten day.

    I'm glad that you found a doctor that you like and who is able to help.
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    How would holding him back help his autism? He is not immature, he has a disability. Would he be spending another year in a classroom for children who have special needs? j
    We chose to hold my son back one year because he was in Early Education (Special Needs). He got a lot of interventions there. Also, his birthday is Aug. 20th and the deadline for enrolling in kindergarten is Sept. 1st, so he would have been one of the youngest kids (something he didn't need).
    What is it they expect to gain by holding him back a year? He will still have Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). Does he have an IEP? I would have him tested through the school (because you HAVE to) and privately to get him help for his special challenges. It is best to be proactive this way in my opinion. Good luck! :)
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    We wanted to hold difficult child back, and were over-ridden.
    In retrospect, I'm super glad we did NOT hold him back.
    He's a winter baby, so one of the younger ones in the class, but... we are able to stretch his HS out by a year and still have him graduate with his peers, because... he IS one of the youngest. If we had held him back, it would have made it very difficult to buy time now.

    I'm wary of holding back, UNLESS they are "just barely" going to squeek in on the age definitions. You don't want him to end up being the "oldest" in the class, either - just a different set of challenges.
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I agree probably best to get him into early childhood special education rather than hold him back. Do private therapy along with that. Glad you got your diagnosis but sorry for him. Hugs.
  7. SocRocks

    SocRocks New Member

    For the schools around here the cut off day is Aug 1. difficult child 3 will turn 5 in Mid June. He was tested at school and we should get the results some time next week. Where I live there really is no options for early childhood special edu. We are not making this decision based on Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), but what would be best for him. We have been thinking about this WELL before the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). At Christmas break time he was behind, and that is when we got started on the testing. His pre-K teacher thought that tested was a good idea. The preschool he is in is only 3 days a week for 2.5 hours, not enough not time. Personally his teacher just thinks he is stupid. My son at all most 5 still doesn't know his colors, only counts when he wants to, among other things. I guess I will wait a week and just continue to pray for the best answer.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    First off sending hug your way. Whatever you decide to do will be be o.k. My son has a June birthday and we decided to send him. Looking back, I don't regret it at all. He is still immature for his age but always will be and I don't think the extra year would have helped him much.
  9. SocRocks

    SocRocks New Member

    Thank you. We are getting ready to start speech therapy for him. He does talk but he repeats a lot and still says stuff that does not make any sense.
  10. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    It is a dilemma we are facing as well. V is a May baby, so he will be one of the youngest as well.
    At that point, we have not made our decision but I am filling out registration, doing school evaluation, etc... Basically living the door open for now. It allows us do wait until August, 4 more months, to make our decision. And lots can happen in 4 months.
    Wait for the school test results and see what kind of services/accomodations will be offered. You can't really make a decision until you have ALL the data.
    But to be honest, his current situation is not the best anyway if his teacher thinks "he's stupid". That is a bad scenario, not good for success.
    Very hard. Sending some peace and wisdom (not mine!! I don't think I have enough) your way.
  11. buddy

    buddy New Member

    If you are in the USA they HAVE to have Early Childhood SPECIAL education (ecse). This is different from Early Childhood Preschool programs (ecfe=early childhood family ed.)

    The federal mandate requires that all public school districts MUST follow is to provide services from the age of birth so if you call the special education department of your district and tell them you have a preschool aged child who has autism they will be able to tell you what free services are available. Don't take NO for an answer. They can't NOT service him if he qualifies under Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). They may do it in your home though if your community has it set up that way. I did that for years as a teacher and it was a wonderful job... and my son was in it from the time he was ONE year old!!! LOL. So, that therapy is free (teaching, Occupational Therapist (OT), PT, Speech/Lang communication, or whatever of those are required). For sure go ahead and hold back if you feel that is best, at this age it will not hurt really since he is so close to the cut off, but I think we are saying it will not likely allow him to catch up to his peers. He may always have needs no matter....but you wont know unless you try.....(I did this for mine too because he was so small and immature and WAS doing things with the grade younger at the time and I am so GLAD I did it... it would have been awful if he was a grade older than he is now).... but in terms of early childhood, the nice thing is with the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) diagnosis you can start the IEP process NOW and have things in place BEFORE kindergarten starts. They can work with him and prepare him so he may do well in the general education setting because they will already know his needs.

    Good Luck!
  12. SocRocks

    SocRocks New Member

    We are just waiting until we have the meeting to see if he qualifies for an IEP. It's just so hard trying to know what's the right thing to do. We do live in the US. But here the age for early is 0-3, then it goes to the school district. The school district we live in is horrible! difficult child 2 already goes to a different school district. If difficult child 3 goes to K he will go to the same school. Thanks everyone for their help.
  13. buddy

    buddy New Member

    The district can contract with a co-op etc for birth to three but they are still responsible for "child find" for every child who needs Special Education from birth on. That is Federal Law. So, just because it goes to the school district does not mean they can skip out and say they dont do it. There MUST be a program, or your child's rights are being violated and the district could lose a ton of money. If you can, call the state department of education and ask where parents can find free special education advocates. Someone THERE too can help you to get what you need. When you write a written request for evaluation and services, your request can NOT be ignored. You send it registered, return receipt mail and a time clock starts. They must state why they wont or how they will evaluate your child. If NO then you have rights (and with your diagnosis, if they deny you the assessment you have a case against them) and there is a way to get it done.

    Since the mandate...the law! says they MUST serve all kids with special needs, it is individualized. They can't say "we dont have a preschool program". They then have to come up with a way to service your child. I had four and five year olds come to me at the school I worked in full time as if we were a therapy clinic. Some kids I drove to their houses. (this was when I worked in the elementary level) They can service in a district preschool program but if that is their only option then THEY pay for your preschool spot and usually special education has reserved several spots for kids who need to be mainstreamed in a preschool class and then they have their staff work with the regular preschool teachers.

    If they are telling you they have money woes etc.... too bad, not legal to say that. (I have been in teacher workshops where the lawyers told us to never say that because it can bite the district in the butt) It may be the truth they have money issues, but that is not our concern. Our only job is to advocate and get services for our kids. with an autism diagnosis that means your child is likely going to need Special Education. teaching and related services well known to be needed for early identified kids with autism including Occupational Therapist (OT) and S/L therapy. I have a friend who lives in an area that sounds like what you are going through. She learned quickly they were speaking bologna. She attended some parent rights workshops and ended up getting her son everything. THey now place him in a private amazing special education school and it is because she was a squeaky wheel, LOL and she has become a HUGE pain in their butts but her kid gets a ton of services in this very depressed area.

    Just offering encouragement if you are feeling he needs more. Believe me I know how daunting it is to go up against people when they say "we just dont have those services" etc. ugggg. It is NOT easy. Anything you need, let us know. Happy to share ideas.