Update

[exhausted]

Hello friends. So glad to hear AGs boy is doing well. Praying for TLs boy. Hoping others are hanging in. I thought it was time to update. difficult child is on her 5 th job since she got out of last Residential Treatment Center (RTC) 19 months ago. She was moved out but because of work hours, she needed to be here most nights so we could get her to work. I had 2 days of peace a week but that ended when she became suicidal about 2 months ago. She is home full time now. She is going to voc.rehab next week. We are hoping they force the issue of seeing a psychiatric. and counselor again. She just refuses to see one when we push the issue. She very much wants to treat her anxiety from PTSD but very much doesnt believe there is a medication to do it....that is, besides her beloved marijuana. This seemingly benign, nonaddictive drug has really taken a toll. She has put on a very large amount of weight, she does not pay her court fine like she should and she still has not paid to get drivers ed. She is so unmotivated. I think she only works to have MJ money. Her clothes are so small she wears sweats most of the time. She wont even buy new clothes. She is helping around the house. Just standing still waiting for the vocational rehab people. I just cant kick her out, not ready and it doesnt feel right. It was the worst ever dealing with this first suicidal episode since she became an adult and having her away from home. Borderline (BPD) is an incipid, horrible mh issue and so is ptsd. I am taking better care of myself and staying out of much more than I use to....detaching as I can.

 

[buddy]

Glad you checked in. Just taking steps to get yourself healthy and happy is huge! Good for you. I pray things improve for difficult child and she is able to get more help.

Hugs, Dee

 

[exhausted]

Thanks for the response. Tough night tonight because difficult child did not come home....she has not done this in some time. Hope your boy is ok. How is school?

 

[recoveringenabler]

Sorry Exhausted, it's so hard to worry all night about them. It sure sounds like you have your hands full now. I hope she ends up going to a counselor and considers medications. Just wanted you to know I read your post and am thinking of you..........sending hugs.....

 

[toughlovin]

The worry we go through for them is so totally exhausting and draining! I am thinking of you too.

*TL

 

[Liahona]

I hope you can find some peace. I've been thinking of you.

 

[lovemysons]

Hi exhausted,
I am so glad you are taking better care of yourself and detaching as much as possible.

I understand wanting to protect them at home after suicidal threats/actions. I still take scissors away from my young difficult child's room if I see has them or something sharp in there as he has stabbed himself before he went to prison this past year. Don't want the temptations to be lying around.

I hope vocational rehab will help your daughter and that she will decide to see psychiatric and councelor. I know medication sure has made a difference in my life. I take Abilify and it has done wonders for the mood disorder as well as anxiety.

Hang in there,
Good to see you,
LMS

 

[Signorina]

Hi Exhausted.

Follow your heart and your mind. If it feel right to have her home then that's where she belongs. She's helping around the house is a good sign, it means that on some level she is acknowledging that home is where she wants to be and she wants to be responsible.

You haven't posted an update, and I really hope that she has come home since your last post. Worry about our kids when they are not home is the worst feeling ever.

I hope that vocational rehab comes through and that the psychiatrist can help. {{{hugs}}}

 

[exhausted]

It has all gotten pretty bad. She finially came home today. When her dad got home she was an emotional wreck but only spoke in general terms....
Everyone is against her , yadda yadda. We think this means she has had some sort of trouble with a male. She decided to take a bunch of acne medications.
husband tried to get them out of her mouth and she bit him and punched his face. Of course the police were called because she ran off after taking who knows
How many pills. She did stay in toych via text with me but all doom and expressing a desire to be dead. Her life is so secret esp. As an adult. I have no clue where
she might be. We searched everywhere we knew. The police trolled the neighborhood. Son is still looking...he has heard from her by text. It sounds like she may
have tried some new drug....something you smoke. She has always had boundaries about this but we all know where things can go. She is alive 4 hours later so maybe
She will be ok. husband pressed charges. We have to and cant let this fly. She is so hard. The suicide thing, which comes and goes. The quiting jobs and secret life. Sexual acting out is a problem off and on. The right treatment is in Florida or California. The places here are geared for men. We have no money left and she wants no mo
treatment. The last time she was in psychiatric hospital. The people told us no more residential. What do I do? Tonight she blamed her father and I for not protecting her..
She has done this twice now. I wonder if this is how she really feels. All crimes are against us. She does not show respect really....just does enough. We cant have
serious talks and she refuses to go to family counseling. I feel ripped apart and guilty despite knowing I have done my best. All the old feeling of fear, anger, resentment
are here. I cant seem to keep them away in a crisis. I wonder about guardianship? I wonder about helping her be away from us in an apartment?

 

[exhausted]

And we are on our way to the University Hospital. Really bad last few hours. Major anxirty attack, overdose, threats to shoot herself. Thank god they
Sent her.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Exhausted, I'm thinking about you and your family. She is clearly a danger to herself and others. She is a tortured soul and I wish there was some effective treatment that could be found for her ASAP.

 

[recoveringenabler]

Exhausted, I am so sorry. I hope it has all calmed down.............sending you thoughts of peace, saying prayers for you and difficult child and your family, gentle and caring hugs for you................

 

[exhausted]

No sleep last night. They released her to police who took her to the psychiatric ward part of the jail. He said she would be out in hours. 2 calls from the
doctor while I took subplans to school. I hope they let her call back. What a nightmare!

 

[Kathy813]

Hi Exhaused. Your name is very aprapo at this moment. I don't have any advice . . . I just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you during this difficult time.

~Kathy

 

[SuZir]

I'm so sorry she is struggling so badly. You and your family are in my thoughts.

 

[lovemysons]

Oh my Exhausted...

Certainly does sound like a nightmare. I sure hope she can get some help soon.
You must be so disrought.

I am so sorry.
Sending up prayers for your family.
Hugs,
LMS