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updating daily-Day 10, my son, in 1st detox, ?'s
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<blockquote data-quote="jmama45" data-source="post: 109740" data-attributes="member: 4450"><p>Thanks for all the words so far. Yes this is gonna be a long haul.</p><p></p><p>Yesterday he call in the am. He still had the tone of admitting and wanting to change. </p><p></p><p>Today he called and I worry he is talking to girlfriend too much. He talked of asking the court for a different lawyer that the one he has isn't going to work with him and will throw him under the bus. He said girlfriend said the guy was a jerk to her too. I am thinking GOOD! let the guy make it hard! He also wants to see if he can get out a couple days early for her sons 6th birthday. :smile: ya OK, they care! So today I feel he is talking to her too much and it isn't helping! ARG! But I did set up the phone for her so I guess I will have to find the strength to not put more money on it. God help me!</p><p></p><p>See I have only starting even talking and getting to know her since the baby was born 12 weeks ago. I am still trying to figure out her strengths and weaknesses. ANd she is a spitfire, she is very out spoken (I am not) and is a force to be reckoned with. I have helped with the baby and really try to help her when I can, but it seems to be growing beyond what I will be able to handle. Let me mention, I have a husband of 15 years and a 14 yr old here. My 14 yr old is doing GREAT and I have to be sure I do not rock her world for her brother's <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />. God knows I was caught up in the teen hell with him before and almost lost my mind.</p><p></p><p>OK, so girlfriend has MAJOR issues! She "can't do" alot of things, she is very her way or no way. She can't be a passenger in a car, she can't eat or be around meat, she has some many things she says makes her crazy. Now last night she called to tell me she didnt think she could come for xmas, that her car is broke. She has trouble with it and it happened again, overheating. So since she can't get it fixed before the holiday. I advised she get a rental from the dealer since this is the 4th time that recalled part broke, if they are open Mon am. If not, I will pick her up 45 mins away... I have a car seat set up and she could deal with driving with me over anyone I think. But man, I am hosting the xmas here and have people coming, like my mom, from 5 mins from her, yet I will have to leave to pick her up because she has issues. :nonono: Wouldn't a normal person take the ride they can get and dela with it. MAN O MAN! And her parents are around (divorced) and they cant help her on xmas???? I haven't figured them out more than they are BOTH alcoholics :frown: </p><p></p><p>Also, her bills are behind. I am under the impression she did ok till my son moved in, but am not sure. She blameds him not giving her money to pay them. SHe is on housing and he isn't suppose to live there anyway- that is one big thing with me, breaking that rule makes me insane! I have shut up about it, but not sure if I can now.</p><p></p><p>Ok so her car ins, car payment, electric, heat, cell are all 3 months behind. ALSO son took a loan she co-signed (she must of have good credit) and he defaulted 2 mos now and they want money for that NOW. </p><p></p><p>How do I deal with all of this, her and the baby and then him too????? I have such a nice life with husband and daughter, we both work, have routines and all is smooth. I cant spend my energies with girlfriend and husband and daughter loses out. I want to help her, but I can only do so much. She needs to find a new apt and get out of the envirnoment she is in, not good for the kids. The place is dangerous, stairs and porch that the baby could get hurt. Drug dealers around. And oh, she isn't one to be clean so the place is pretty gross too. I mean clutter and dirt. The sink usually has mounds of dishes, dirty bottles everywhere, it just isn't good. I am a clean freak and seeing that place makes her want to cry. The baby could pick up anything and eat it soon. I was hoping to work with her on looking around after the new year. But with all the bills she has, I dont know what to do. </p><p></p><p>My son living in that told me there was a problem. He came from a nice clean suburb and is in a city apt that looks like a bomb hit it. You know one day I picked the baby up, there were 2 bottles, 3 dirty diapers sitting on the floor :frown: She didnt walk out of the room to the trash in 2 feedings?</p><p></p><p>Her son goes with his father every weekend. Seems to go there extra too. But the baby, I only take one night because I work...</p><p></p><p>Oh and today, my son asked if he he doesn't get into a program on release, if he can move back here for "a while" I kicked him out at 17 for partying and smoking pot. He never asked me for a thing since. This is a 360 for him, so its hard to tell if he is seriuos about change. He knows though, that my husband plays NO games and his butt is out at the first screw up, so seems to me he means it. But like you all said, we won't know until he takes action, no words.</p><p></p><p>I dunno, lots of things going on. My head hurts LOL! </p><p></p><p>ps is not sleeping normal? he talk about being so anxious all the time that he cant sleep, read or do anything. He doesnt have any mental issues, not normally anxious, but I assume this is all withdrawal for him. Right? oh and he was a cig smoker, cold turkey has gotta contribute right?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jmama45, post: 109740, member: 4450"] Thanks for all the words so far. Yes this is gonna be a long haul. Yesterday he call in the am. He still had the tone of admitting and wanting to change. Today he called and I worry he is talking to girlfriend too much. He talked of asking the court for a different lawyer that the one he has isn't going to work with him and will throw him under the bus. He said girlfriend said the guy was a jerk to her too. I am thinking GOOD! let the guy make it hard! He also wants to see if he can get out a couple days early for her sons 6th birthday. [img]:smile:[/img] ya OK, they care! So today I feel he is talking to her too much and it isn't helping! ARG! But I did set up the phone for her so I guess I will have to find the strength to not put more money on it. God help me! See I have only starting even talking and getting to know her since the baby was born 12 weeks ago. I am still trying to figure out her strengths and weaknesses. ANd she is a spitfire, she is very out spoken (I am not) and is a force to be reckoned with. I have helped with the baby and really try to help her when I can, but it seems to be growing beyond what I will be able to handle. Let me mention, I have a husband of 15 years and a 14 yr old here. My 14 yr old is doing GREAT and I have to be sure I do not rock her world for her brother's :censored:. God knows I was caught up in the teen hell with him before and almost lost my mind. OK, so girlfriend has MAJOR issues! She "can't do" alot of things, she is very her way or no way. She can't be a passenger in a car, she can't eat or be around meat, she has some many things she says makes her crazy. Now last night she called to tell me she didnt think she could come for xmas, that her car is broke. She has trouble with it and it happened again, overheating. So since she can't get it fixed before the holiday. I advised she get a rental from the dealer since this is the 4th time that recalled part broke, if they are open Mon am. If not, I will pick her up 45 mins away... I have a car seat set up and she could deal with driving with me over anyone I think. But man, I am hosting the xmas here and have people coming, like my mom, from 5 mins from her, yet I will have to leave to pick her up because she has issues. [img]:nonono:[/img] Wouldn't a normal person take the ride they can get and dela with it. MAN O MAN! And her parents are around (divorced) and they cant help her on xmas???? I haven't figured them out more than they are BOTH alcoholics [img]:frown:[/img] Also, her bills are behind. I am under the impression she did ok till my son moved in, but am not sure. She blameds him not giving her money to pay them. SHe is on housing and he isn't suppose to live there anyway- that is one big thing with me, breaking that rule makes me insane! I have shut up about it, but not sure if I can now. Ok so her car ins, car payment, electric, heat, cell are all 3 months behind. ALSO son took a loan she co-signed (she must of have good credit) and he defaulted 2 mos now and they want money for that NOW. How do I deal with all of this, her and the baby and then him too????? I have such a nice life with husband and daughter, we both work, have routines and all is smooth. I cant spend my energies with girlfriend and husband and daughter loses out. I want to help her, but I can only do so much. She needs to find a new apt and get out of the envirnoment she is in, not good for the kids. The place is dangerous, stairs and porch that the baby could get hurt. Drug dealers around. And oh, she isn't one to be clean so the place is pretty gross too. I mean clutter and dirt. The sink usually has mounds of dishes, dirty bottles everywhere, it just isn't good. I am a clean freak and seeing that place makes her want to cry. The baby could pick up anything and eat it soon. I was hoping to work with her on looking around after the new year. But with all the bills she has, I dont know what to do. My son living in that told me there was a problem. He came from a nice clean suburb and is in a city apt that looks like a bomb hit it. You know one day I picked the baby up, there were 2 bottles, 3 dirty diapers sitting on the floor [img]:frown:[/img] She didnt walk out of the room to the trash in 2 feedings? Her son goes with his father every weekend. Seems to go there extra too. But the baby, I only take one night because I work... Oh and today, my son asked if he he doesn't get into a program on release, if he can move back here for "a while" I kicked him out at 17 for partying and smoking pot. He never asked me for a thing since. This is a 360 for him, so its hard to tell if he is seriuos about change. He knows though, that my husband plays NO games and his butt is out at the first screw up, so seems to me he means it. But like you all said, we won't know until he takes action, no words. I dunno, lots of things going on. My head hurts LOL! ps is not sleeping normal? he talk about being so anxious all the time that he cant sleep, read or do anything. He doesnt have any mental issues, not normally anxious, but I assume this is all withdrawal for him. Right? oh and he was a cig smoker, cold turkey has gotta contribute right? [/QUOTE]
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