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updating daily-Day 10, my son, in 1st detox, ?'s
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<blockquote data-quote="jmama45" data-source="post: 109916" data-attributes="member: 4450"><p>Right. My concern is my granddaughter. girlfriend's life style is far from the way I live in so many ways. She seems to love her children enough, but she was never taught well how to raise them. She is very mean at times. One the other hand, she is very into good, like feeding times and how much and that stuff. SHe wrote down every feeding time, amount and bm for over a month. She just is god with that stuff, but not good with what the kids see ie. she has playboy bunny things everywhere, who wants that around their kids? She let my son stay their when she is on housing, that isn't ok. I dunno, its so weird. I know her parents split up when she was 12 and she was raised by her Aunt. Her aunt is 44 and on fulltime disablity. The whole family is on some sort of assistance, they seem to know the game and play it. That is everything I am not. She was self taught it seems and it isn't good. </p><p></p><p>If I want to see my gd, I will have to deal with her... and she involves me but seems to think she makes the rules as far as what my son is going to do when he gets out. I can't let her be part of that or he will NEVER make it. Having his baby makes her think she rules everything for him, and he is too messed up to see it now. She is talking about getting his family together for an intervention when he gets out... thats not her decision to make, she is in no position to guide him or us. She already had a boyfriend go through this exact thing, so she thinks she knows it all, court, rehab all of it. YIKES!</p><p></p><p>I think I may look into alnon. I have little idea on what to do, what is right to do and what is wrong. I need help in not enabling. I need to know what is help and what is enabling while he is going through all this.</p><p></p><p>I do not see us letting him coming back here UNLESS his does a residential rehab first and has so proof he is on the right path. I dont know what to say to him on the phone, what he can handle hearing and what he can't. His calls are getting harder, since we talked about it all now, there in nothing left to do but wait and see what happens when he gets out.</p><p></p><p>I don't know but my instints tell me he has to be cut off from her before anything will change for him. But he thinks they are his family and is acting like he can't stay away from them for a minute longer than he is forced to.</p><p></p><p>Gosh, I sound as mubled as he does now LOL. I so hate this!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jmama45, post: 109916, member: 4450"] Right. My concern is my granddaughter. girlfriend's life style is far from the way I live in so many ways. She seems to love her children enough, but she was never taught well how to raise them. She is very mean at times. One the other hand, she is very into good, like feeding times and how much and that stuff. SHe wrote down every feeding time, amount and bm for over a month. She just is god with that stuff, but not good with what the kids see ie. she has playboy bunny things everywhere, who wants that around their kids? She let my son stay their when she is on housing, that isn't ok. I dunno, its so weird. I know her parents split up when she was 12 and she was raised by her Aunt. Her aunt is 44 and on fulltime disablity. The whole family is on some sort of assistance, they seem to know the game and play it. That is everything I am not. She was self taught it seems and it isn't good. If I want to see my gd, I will have to deal with her... and she involves me but seems to think she makes the rules as far as what my son is going to do when he gets out. I can't let her be part of that or he will NEVER make it. Having his baby makes her think she rules everything for him, and he is too messed up to see it now. She is talking about getting his family together for an intervention when he gets out... thats not her decision to make, she is in no position to guide him or us. She already had a boyfriend go through this exact thing, so she thinks she knows it all, court, rehab all of it. YIKES! I think I may look into alnon. I have little idea on what to do, what is right to do and what is wrong. I need help in not enabling. I need to know what is help and what is enabling while he is going through all this. I do not see us letting him coming back here UNLESS his does a residential rehab first and has so proof he is on the right path. I dont know what to say to him on the phone, what he can handle hearing and what he can't. His calls are getting harder, since we talked about it all now, there in nothing left to do but wait and see what happens when he gets out. I don't know but my instints tell me he has to be cut off from her before anything will change for him. But he thinks they are his family and is acting like he can't stay away from them for a minute longer than he is forced to. Gosh, I sound as mubled as he does now LOL. I so hate this! [/QUOTE]
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