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Upsetting phone call from 34yo Difficult Child
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 659740" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Ah, Seeking, I am sorry this happened to you and husband. Amazing how a single bolt through the air can undo us like this.</p><p></p><p>He does not have the right to treat you this way. He does not have the right to derail you this way. And he has no right to make demands of you.</p><p></p><p>He can only derail you if you allow it. Try try try not to engage.</p><p></p><p>Don't send that txt..that is engaging.</p><p></p><p>Try not to say things that can be undermined..'we can't get up there' is easier to undermine than 'I'm sorry, that doesn't work for us'.</p><p></p><p>Good job getting off the phone. </p><p></p><p>Now is a good time to write down a few responses, should you have contact again.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry.</p><p>No.</p><p>That does t work for us.</p><p>That's unfortunate.</p><p>That sounds hard.</p><p>We won't be able to do that.</p><p>No. (No is a complete sentence).</p><p></p><p>You are a strong woman, seeking. It is ok to shake a bit..then take some deep breathes and let it go. Move on. His issues and needs have nothing to do with you today. You did well to disconnect the phone call. Now disconnect your mind. Deny him the opportunity to really derail you. </p><p></p><p>I said I'm sorry this happened to you' deliberately , instead I 'I'm sorry this is happening to you' because it is a thing. A one time thin that happens from time to time, not a force, not a power, not a miasma of badness. It isn't and ongoing event. He called. You hung up as soon as it got inappropriate. You did well. Now go on with your day.</p><p></p><p>Easier said than done, I know!!! But some days it can be done just like that...I hope this is one of those days.</p><p></p><p>We are all here to prop.</p><p></p><p>Hugs, </p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 659740, member: 17269"] Ah, Seeking, I am sorry this happened to you and husband. Amazing how a single bolt through the air can undo us like this. He does not have the right to treat you this way. He does not have the right to derail you this way. And he has no right to make demands of you. He can only derail you if you allow it. Try try try not to engage. Don't send that txt..that is engaging. Try not to say things that can be undermined..'we can't get up there' is easier to undermine than 'I'm sorry, that doesn't work for us'. Good job getting off the phone. Now is a good time to write down a few responses, should you have contact again. I'm sorry. No. That does t work for us. That's unfortunate. That sounds hard. We won't be able to do that. No. (No is a complete sentence). You are a strong woman, seeking. It is ok to shake a bit..then take some deep breathes and let it go. Move on. His issues and needs have nothing to do with you today. You did well to disconnect the phone call. Now disconnect your mind. Deny him the opportunity to really derail you. I said I'm sorry this happened to you' deliberately , instead I 'I'm sorry this is happening to you' because it is a thing. A one time thin that happens from time to time, not a force, not a power, not a miasma of badness. It isn't and ongoing event. He called. You hung up as soon as it got inappropriate. You did well. Now go on with your day. Easier said than done, I know!!! But some days it can be done just like that...I hope this is one of those days. We are all here to prop. Hugs, Echo [/QUOTE]
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Upsetting phone call from 34yo Difficult Child
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