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Urgent Advice Needed!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 613604" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi. Welcome to our sanctuary. There is nothing you tell us that would shock us. We've been through it all.</p><p></p><p>It is hard to adopt an older child as I have done it twice. You are fortunate that she has bonded with you. I would be worried about her too if she were mine. But the fact is, you can coax her to maybe lave him, but our grown kids, over eighteen, have to decide to leave on their own. I feel for you...your scared and hurting mommy heart, and then there is the baby. </p><p></p><p>Most of us have learned to take a few steps back and detach from the drama in our grown kids lives. This takes time and is a process and we all need to go at our own speed. Remember that in the end your daughter needs to be on her own and that it is not healthy for you or for her to let her problems consume you. You need to remember that you are not her and she is not you and that you can and should have a happy, full, joyful life in spite of your daughters poor choices, which are more common in older adopted kids. All you can do is support her when she makes good choices and detach from her bad choices and drama. </p><p></p><p>I would start taking steps to learn when to detach. I'm glad you found us. Others will come along. We are a closeknit group.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 613604, member: 1550"] Hi. Welcome to our sanctuary. There is nothing you tell us that would shock us. We've been through it all. It is hard to adopt an older child as I have done it twice. You are fortunate that she has bonded with you. I would be worried about her too if she were mine. But the fact is, you can coax her to maybe lave him, but our grown kids, over eighteen, have to decide to leave on their own. I feel for you...your scared and hurting mommy heart, and then there is the baby. Most of us have learned to take a few steps back and detach from the drama in our grown kids lives. This takes time and is a process and we all need to go at our own speed. Remember that in the end your daughter needs to be on her own and that it is not healthy for you or for her to let her problems consume you. You need to remember that you are not her and she is not you and that you can and should have a happy, full, joyful life in spite of your daughters poor choices, which are more common in older adopted kids. All you can do is support her when she makes good choices and detach from her bad choices and drama. I would start taking steps to learn when to detach. I'm glad you found us. Others will come along. We are a closeknit group. [/QUOTE]
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