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Urgent Advice Needed!
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 613628" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>Welcome, lar. I am glad you found us. I am sort of an emotional mess myself these days, so I can't think what to tell you, other than that helping adult kids can be alot like diving in to save someone who is drowning. We need to keep clear heads, and be very sure not to let the drowning person drag us down with them.</p><p></p><p>Ultimately, we are working to know how to detach from their situations altogether. It's so hard to acknowledge that we have no say in what they will do ~ and it's harder still to require them to walk through the consequences of their choices, instead of fixing everything for them.</p><p></p><p>It's really so hard.</p><p></p><p>This is something Recovering posted to me. I find it very helpful.</p><p></p><p>"Yes I am here for you but I am not willing to do anything for you unless you start doing something for yourself."</p><p></p><p>In fact lar, if you read Recovering's post to me on the Detachment/Update thread, I think that will help you clarify your thinking, too. It is helping me. She is sharing with us what she went through, and how she thought about what she went through, to enable herself to see it for what it is and put a stop to it.</p><p></p><p>Compassion for herself was her first step, lar.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 613628, member: 1721"] Welcome, lar. I am glad you found us. I am sort of an emotional mess myself these days, so I can't think what to tell you, other than that helping adult kids can be alot like diving in to save someone who is drowning. We need to keep clear heads, and be very sure not to let the drowning person drag us down with them. Ultimately, we are working to know how to detach from their situations altogether. It's so hard to acknowledge that we have no say in what they will do ~ and it's harder still to require them to walk through the consequences of their choices, instead of fixing everything for them. It's really so hard. This is something Recovering posted to me. I find it very helpful. "Yes I am here for you but I am not willing to do anything for you unless you start doing something for yourself." In fact lar, if you read Recovering's post to me on the Detachment/Update thread, I think that will help you clarify your thinking, too. It is helping me. She is sharing with us what she went through, and how she thought about what she went through, to enable herself to see it for what it is and put a stop to it. Compassion for herself was her first step, lar. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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