Urgent Issue with school

[klmno]

I received this email from principal- she apparently wrote it at 1:30 am in response to my email that is written below hers. The therapist I went to this morning for first time said we have big school issues and I might need Special Education attny on board- this was after reviewing difficult child's history and only a portion of that pertained to school. Did my email warrant this response?

To "difficult child's school case worker and teacher", (And ME)

I, too, will be writing to the Director of Exceptional Education, to share with her ALL THAT OUR TEACHERS HAVE DONE for difficult child--- NOT what we cannot MAKE difficult child do for himself. Please do not concern yourselves too much over this. I will reply to Ms. XXX by inviting her to another IEP meeting to formally discuss her concerns, and I will be inviting ????(don't know who this is) and (middle school Special Education director) as well. We will not be pushed around by her threats. You all have gone ABOVE and BEYOND with both difficult child and Ms. XXX, and it would be a PLEASURE to share all that our school has done for him with anyone who cares to join us.

Can you tell I am riled up over this one? It’s 1:30 AM in the morning, and this was on my mind, so I decided to make sure it would NOT be on your minds. Take deep breaths and relax. You all are THE BEST, and we will help Ms. XXX remember that.

-(Principal)


On 2/4/08 7:38 PM, XXX wrote:

Mr. (Case worker),

Apparently, there still is a problem with work getting back and forth and getting work done in class.

1) difficult child did side one of the SS worksheet (which I saw and he has credit for) and he told me that he completed side two and handed it directly to Mrs. (teacher) during study hall last week (Friday) but he has a zero marked for it. I'm sorry he has needed pencils from you and not returned them. I will be happy to send a box of pencils and pens for your class. Since there seems to be an ongoing frustration with difficult child in this class, could he be changed to a different SS class?

2) Ms. (science teacher), since difficult child is having a continuing problem with accomplishing work during your class and/or getting it turned it and I have no idea why, could you please get the collaborative teacher a little more involved? I understand your frustration with having to take extra time for difficult child, but this is why he is assigned to a collaborative class and I believe some action needs to be taken to assist him rather than assigning zeros without making those efforts.

Yes, difficult child does need assistance in assuring homework assignments are documented and worksheets actually make it home. I understand that the type of problem that difficult child has is difficult for many school personnel to understand and accept as anything other than a behavioral issue. For this reason, I will be sending a certified letter to the special education director and others to see what might be available to the school personnel to help everyone understand a little better about what is actually needed. It appears that there needs to be some training on how to better help a cycling student get an adequate education.

Through the ongoing process of evaluating different medications and dosagaes, the psychiatrist and I are in much need of dates and specifics about any type of difficulty at school, including intentional behavior. We are trying to scrutinize exactly what is going on with difficult child at school in order to maximize difficult child's experience at school, which I would think would also minimize everyone's problems with him. It would be greatly appreciated if any requested information be provided in order to assist in this process, without it being viewed as another parent complaining.

Mr. (Case worker), I realize that you are making many efforts to assist difficult child and help with my requests. I sincerely do appreciate that.

Sincerely,
Ms. XXX​

 

[mom23gsfg]

the homework issue: i had it written up in my son's iep that he have an extra set of textbooks at home also, any homework is emailed to me also, any letters and etc. are sent to my email since i usually never got them.
it has helped alot in the homework department .beware though you will have to DEMAND the extra set of textbooks ...they tried to tell me the schoolboard wouldn't let them. which is a lie.it took me 2 yrs to get them.

 

[klmno]

I rec'd another email from principal- she wants 4 dates I am available to meet for IEP. I have a feeling it won;t be an IEP meeting- it will be a meeting with me listening to them tell me just what she wrote in her email and that they've done all they can- just like last year when they got pi**ed off.

I went back and read the first email from principal again- the one copied below. I don't think she meant to send it to me- it is addressed to 2 people- the email was sent to me and one person it's addressed to and copied to the other vice principals.

Wait until she figures that out!!

 

[house of cards]

I think you are totally right about the e-mail, guess she doesn't function to well at 1:30 in the morning. She sounds troubled to me. Sorry you need to deal with this. I'd make several copies of the e-mail.

 

[klmno]

Well, if my efforts to get real help for my difficult child are resulting in her communicating things like this to teachers and staff, no wonder the IEP isn't effective. If she isn't in support of him needing help, others in the school sure aren't going to make any efforts.

 

[mistmouse]

I believe you are right that she didn't intend to send the email to you. However, she did and that gives you a heads up as to what may happen at the IEP meeting she is going to call. What irritates me is when teachers and administrators say they have gone "above and beyond". For two reasons; one, if it is in the IEP and you are doing it then it isn't above and beyond what is required or expected to help difficult child receive a FAPE in the LRE; and two, that is why we have the IDEA...to outline what services and supports that difficult child needs to be able to gain an appropriate education...if that means they had to do more for your difficult child than some other student...it still is not "ABOVE and BEYOND". When I hear those words I assume the person stating them doesn't understand what above and beyond would be. That would be doing something that is successful without having to be "made to". It seems strange that on a daily basis SDs provide services such as ESL, but they do not consider this "above and beyond". It seems it is only considered above and beyond when they either don't want to implement an IEP correctly, and then consider the failure of difficult child to improve behaviors is his fault alone. The way I see it, there is no way to go above and beyond if all you have done is made sure a child is able to gain social and academic skills.

OK, off my soapbox now, but it really does irk me when anybody within a SD uses those words.

Hugs to you.
mistmouse

 

[nvts]

Ok, so she's an idiot. They proved that last year so now you're going to have your time to shine. Go prepared, with your head held high knowing that you are advocating for your son.

That being said: Do you have access to an advocate? It would probably be in your best interest to go there with your own group. I for one would enlist any psychiatrist or therapist that he works with. Appeal to their "kindness factor" and see if they will attend. If you don't have an advocate, it's time to get one so that you don't have to reinvent this wheel again next year. Try searching "free childrens advocates name of state". (I don't know where you live otherwise I'd do it for you!).

Here are a few questions:

1. do you have an advocate?
2. spec. ed attorney (many of these are pro-bono)
3. does difficult child have a Functional Behavior Analysis and Behavior Intervention Plan?
4. what is in the IEP for their issues that they're complaining about (behavior, performance, etc.?)
5. gather all of your correspondence with the school in date order including notes from teachers, administration etc.
6. write down the gist of all phone conversations (with dates if possible) and log all agreements that have been made verbally.

DO NOT AGREE TO A MEETING UNTIL YOU'RE ON TOP OF YOUR GAME. IF YOU'RE SICK YOU'RE EASY PREY!!!

Let us know and I'm sure that Sheila and Martie will happen along with their usual brilliant information.

I love it that she didn't realize that she cc'd you! By the way, did you contact the Spec. Ed Director? What did that letter look like?

Stand tall, you haven't done anything wrong!

Beth

PS: Feel better! From the sound of her e-mail you're fighting a battle of wits against an unarmed principal!
me

 

[Steely]

What a ding dong!!! For lack of a better word!!!
She is upset over that email??? Those are all work related problems, not behavior! She should be thankful difficult child is not acting out!! Grrrr.....

It would be funny to see what she would do if you replied to her. Seriously. I bet she would gravel to say the least.

I cannot advise you on specifics, except to say the therapist is over reacting a bit in my opinion. I think that this too shall pass, and obviously ms principal was a bit riled over things that probably had little to do with you. I would not worry too much.

 

[klmno]

Ok, I spoke with Special Education attny- he suggested reporting it to state myself, so I don't have to pay his fee and if that doesn't work, I can get him on board.

What do you think if I respond to their requests for dates of IEP that "when they are really trying to schedule an IEP meeting, I will be available- but based on principal's email, I see no point in being available to meet to hear about how she thinks difficult child is not making any effort and that he is in control of improving things on his own when he has 2 psychiatrist reprts and 1 neuropsychologist report and just to hear how they've done everything they can- it is exactly that attitude that has kept difficult child from having a credible opportunity to get past all he's done. And after reading many threads on this board, I for one happen to think that many of our difficult child's have had lost opportunities to turn things around because of sd's and others blowing off their responsibilities.

 

[babybear]

I've read your email 3 times and I still can not figure out what she is viewing as a threat. I don't see anything threatening in there at all. I am sorry you have to deal with her. She is even worse than the sociopathic social worker I had to deal with last year.

 

[klmno]

Thanks, bear- I just checked online- the person the principal said she'd contact that I didn't know who it was- it is a liason for Special Education students put on long-term suspension or expelled. Funny, difficult child isn''t having that kind of issue this year- YET- I'd bet money- it will happen soon....

 

[meowbunny]

Given who the other party is, I wouldn't be surprised if you were deliberately included in the email as a warning what is going to start happening if you don't back down. They did this at my daughter's school. It backfired because rather than me backing down, I became a total, unreasonable witch with a B.

 

[klmno]

Yes, it has crossed my mind- thank you for letting me know it's just not my paranoia!! It crossed my mid because I complimented case worker's efforts and he's the one she left out of sending it to. (Not that I think case worker is necessarily doing everything I think he should, but I have a feeling that his back is up against a wall- I think he's doing what he was directed to do.)

 

[Sheila]

I don't think she meant to send you the email. She's been in the system long enough I'd think she'd have enough snap to know not to give away her game plan.

Your attorney is advising you to file a formal Complaint. If you decide to do that, let me know and I'll pull some info for you pertinent to the Feds.

 

[klmno]

Sheila, this could go pretty far- any opinions, suggestions, or advice would be greatly appreciated-

Thanks in advance!!

 

[Sheila]

klmno: I'll round it up ASAP. Sent you a PM.

 

[Ubacat98]

This is my first time at this sight. But it is nice to know we aren't the only family suffering. Someone mentioned an advocate. Have you called the district to bring them in on this? If they are not fulfilling their end of the IEP then can be held liable. Do they have self contained in your district? My son is ina self contained class. It seems to hold more promise then the others classes he has been in. I wish you luck because IEP's **** especially when administrators and teachers cannot step out of the box. Have you read the explosive child? There is a decent chapter regarding shool in it, it has helped some of my sons teahers understand a bit more.

 

[Mickey2255]

I know another advocate/grandmother who makes COPIES of every single piece of her grandson's homework so if a teacher says it wasn't turned in, she can produce a copy of it instantly! She also has all work done IN school copied and compiled so she can pick it up weekly from the school again so if her grandson is marked incomplete on an assignment she can check to see if it really was incomplete or not. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant Grandma!! And of course, she has the copies being made at school in his IEP so she can jump all over them if they don't produce. That along with a second set of books at school and you really have your kid covered for "forgetfulness".
Good luck!
Michelle

 

[SaraT]

Is there by chance a vice-principal at difficult child's school? I ask because I have had to have principal banned from dealing with my difficult child before. Her current principal is not allowed anywhere near her. The vice-principal takes care of IEP meeting, discipline, etc. You do have the right to have the principal removed from dealing with difficult child and have vice-principal there instead, or even superintendent if needed. been there done that. Getting superintendent involved tends to scare school straight lol.

I have also sent letters to my state's dept of special learners. It works, and I even cc'd it to all school board members, including superintendent. Needless to say the school runs when I come in lol.