Urgent!!!!!
- Thread starter DaisyFace
- Start date
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Whew. Glad they found them before something bad actually happened.
I think I would call her therapist and tell them about this. Or...isnt she going in for testing tomorrow? I would be absolutely sure this is number one on the list.
I think I would call her therapist and tell them about this. Or...isnt she going in for testing tomorrow? I would be absolutely sure this is number one on the list.
Yes, testing is scheduled for tomorrow...
I am hoping that the weather will not force us to re-schedule. I don't think the snow and ice is supposed to reach this far south, though.
Another Update--
She has throughly scratched up her face with her fingernails. husband and I are debating whether or not to attempt to have her hospitalized again.
If it was anyone's else's kid, I would tell them to take her to the crisis center...
But after our last experience at the psychiatric hospital, all difficult child had to do was say "Yeah, I was upset before but I feel better now and I'm not gonna do anything" and they sent her home with the suggestion to follow up with her regular therapist.
We're thinking (unless more drama happens tonight), that we are just going to bring her to tomorrow's testing sans makeup, so the doctor can get a look at what she's been doing to herself. The testing is in the capital (over an hour away). There is a psychiatric hospital there. If the doctor thinks it's a good idea, we won't object to having her hospitalized there.
Don't know if it will come to that, though...
--DaisyFace
She has throughly scratched up her face with her fingernails. husband and I are debating whether or not to attempt to have her hospitalized again.
If it was anyone's else's kid, I would tell them to take her to the crisis center...
But after our last experience at the psychiatric hospital, all difficult child had to do was say "Yeah, I was upset before but I feel better now and I'm not gonna do anything" and they sent her home with the suggestion to follow up with her regular therapist.
We're thinking (unless more drama happens tonight), that we are just going to bring her to tomorrow's testing sans makeup, so the doctor can get a look at what she's been doing to herself. The testing is in the capital (over an hour away). There is a psychiatric hospital there. If the doctor thinks it's a good idea, we won't object to having her hospitalized there.
Don't know if it will come to that, though...
--DaisyFace
tiredmommy
Well-Known Member
Watch her like a hawk... I won't be surprised in she tries to sneak out tonight.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
I think I agree with your decision to just keep a watch and take her to the testing. She really cant kill herself by scratching her face with fingernails. Not unless she has those long acrylics and even then it would be a stretch because the pain would probably stop her.
I think I would watch her like a hawk until tomorrow and let everything out to this new psychiatrist who is testing her. Maybe he will want to hospitalize her.
I think I would watch her like a hawk until tomorrow and let everything out to this new psychiatrist who is testing her. Maybe he will want to hospitalize her.
gcvmom
Here we go again!
Ugh. Sending hugs for strength while you go through this latest incident.
Does the school know about the other student who was also involved (the FB contact)? I hope they don't just let this rest on difficult child and realize there are others involved, too.
Definitely call the psychiatrist today with your report of all this new information. They may not want you to wait for testing tomorrow...
Does the school know about the other student who was also involved (the FB contact)? I hope they don't just let this rest on difficult child and realize there are others involved, too.
Definitely call the psychiatrist today with your report of all this new information. They may not want you to wait for testing tomorrow...
Yes, we let the school know all the info we had...including names.
The other student denied everything, but was searched as well. Since nothing was found on her (and difficult child admitted she hadn't given her the razorblades yet) she was free to go. It's none of my business, but I do suspect that the school will be contacting her parents regarding the cutting.
UPDATE:
The school just called. They have decided that because difficult child seems like a good kid and her grades are good (only two Fs and one D, currently), that this incident will warrant only 3 days suspension.
They have also asked me to just please search her at home from now on....
--sigh--
I have been searching her and her backback and her bedroom. Obviously not often, nor thoroughly enough to catch everything.
It's been a h*ll of a day. I don't even know what I think or feel about any of this right now. I will have to have some "down" time to process everything.
Thank you all for listening and for your ideas and supportive words. It helps so much in times like these...
--DaisyFace
The school just called. They have decided that because difficult child seems like a good kid and her grades are good (only two Fs and one D, currently), that this incident will warrant only 3 days suspension.
They have also asked me to just please search her at home from now on....
--sigh--
I have been searching her and her backback and her bedroom. Obviously not often, nor thoroughly enough to catch everything.
It's been a h*ll of a day. I don't even know what I think or feel about any of this right now. I will have to have some "down" time to process everything.
Thank you all for listening and for your ideas and supportive words. It helps so much in times like these...
--DaisyFace
graceupongrace
New Member
DF,
How sad. Did she do the scratching after/in response to today's incident?
Can you alert the doctor ahead of time as to what happened?
More hugs.
How sad. Did she do the scratching after/in response to today's incident?
Can you alert the doctor ahead of time as to what happened?
More hugs.
Marguerite
Active Member
I'd throw this one back to the school to a certain extent. Yes, it is your job to keep an eye on y our daughter but you'r ealready doing that, it's how you were able to alert them to this. You alerted THEM because you had a heads' up on this. Your increased vigilance wouldn't have made much difference here, I don't think. What more can you do?
You need their involvement too, this is a team approach. Ask them to maintain their vigilance also, thank them for following through on your alert but let them know that while you will continue to do what you can, as you have been doing, you will still need their help too at similar times. She is a hard case and you're having difficulty being taken seriously with your concerns.
Re the face scratching - document. It's one of the many reasons I bless digital cameras. Stand her in the bathroom with the lights glaring, sans make-up, and take a photo. Scratches heal. The photo is permanent evidence.
And someone else said,
In my book, even Nair would be out. She either goes native, or uses an epilator. If she abuses the epilator, then she goes native. I wouldn't trust her with hot wax, either.
Actually, if she's cutting and is trying to do this in order to have an inner pain match to outer damage or the feeling of it - cold wax might be an option. Similarly, the pain of using an epilator might be helpful for her. But if it's the visual she's after, then give her a red pen and let her draw on herself. Aim for water-based so it will wash off and come out of clothing in the wash.
But skip the Nair.
Marg
You need their involvement too, this is a team approach. Ask them to maintain their vigilance also, thank them for following through on your alert but let them know that while you will continue to do what you can, as you have been doing, you will still need their help too at similar times. She is a hard case and you're having difficulty being taken seriously with your concerns.
Re the face scratching - document. It's one of the many reasons I bless digital cameras. Stand her in the bathroom with the lights glaring, sans make-up, and take a photo. Scratches heal. The photo is permanent evidence.
And someone else said,
In my book, even Nair would be out. She either goes native, or uses an epilator. If she abuses the epilator, then she goes native. I wouldn't trust her with hot wax, either.
Actually, if she's cutting and is trying to do this in order to have an inner pain match to outer damage or the feeling of it - cold wax might be an option. Similarly, the pain of using an epilator might be helpful for her. But if it's the visual she's after, then give her a red pen and let her draw on herself. Aim for water-based so it will wash off and come out of clothing in the wash.
But skip the Nair.
Marg
aninom
New Member
The school is supposed to, and is in fact legally, taking on the responsibility of a parent during school hours. If THIS doesn't go through to them - obviously it's not, if they think it's as simple as telling the parent to search better at home and leave it at that, no help, no additional plan - you can go the cheap shot route and remind them that if anything happens to your child on their watch, THEY are legally responsible.
She needs help. They can, and HAVE TO, help carry some of that burden while she is under their supervision. Can you ask them how exactly they think a short-term suspension is going to help everyone involved get anyplace better, long-term?
Don't count on outside authorities to fully get the situation. They don't live with difficult child, they don't intimately know difficult child - you do. Remind them of that. Remind them even more of the fact it is their job and responsibility to help this kid.
Hugs your way.
She needs help. They can, and HAVE TO, help carry some of that burden while she is under their supervision. Can you ask them how exactly they think a short-term suspension is going to help everyone involved get anyplace better, long-term?
Don't count on outside authorities to fully get the situation. They don't live with difficult child, they don't intimately know difficult child - you do. Remind them of that. Remind them even more of the fact it is their job and responsibility to help this kid.
Hugs your way.
You are doing all of the right things. I hope you can find peace tonight, if even for a moment.
