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General Parenting
Urgently need advice!
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<blockquote data-quote="mom_to_3" data-source="post: 182921" data-attributes="member: 30"><p>I believe this girl is definitely a difficult child. I'd still make the call just to be safe, but it is interesting that this girl has not told anyone else. She has had the opportunity. If things are truly bad at home, she could have told a teacher, she could leave a note with someone while in a store, she could call the police while at your house. Why stir up a pot of drama with neighbors and then want nothing done about it? My difficult child would do the same thing and not want any authority notified. You know why? Because if / when there was an investigation, it was found that she was lying and that why yes, her parents were quite angry with her behavior! If there was no report made, she could continue being a victim, have people feeling sorry for her, giving her loads of positive, soothing attention for her bad behavior.</p><p></p><p>I think we should all be careful about judging the parents next door. While I don't think the situation you mention is ideal, we've all had our less than perfect parenting moments. I too forbid my difficult child from speaking specifically to the school therapists. I was in fact pretty angry that "therapy" was even going on without our knowledge. They had no idea about our difficult child's issue's. "Therapy" at the school was our difficult child lying about practically everything. My husband and I were abusive, I had brain cancer, was having surgery. I can't even remember all of it. But I do remember being totally shocked when my husband and I went to the school to demand that this "therapy" end and have this social worker sadly express her sadness at my diagnosis. I had nothing wrong with me! Things are not always what they seem, that's why I suggested calling CPS and not having the neighbor girl, nor your daughter be aware. That way the situation would be looked at and your daughter would not have the burden of knowing to carry.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mom_to_3, post: 182921, member: 30"] I believe this girl is definitely a difficult child. I'd still make the call just to be safe, but it is interesting that this girl has not told anyone else. She has had the opportunity. If things are truly bad at home, she could have told a teacher, she could leave a note with someone while in a store, she could call the police while at your house. Why stir up a pot of drama with neighbors and then want nothing done about it? My difficult child would do the same thing and not want any authority notified. You know why? Because if / when there was an investigation, it was found that she was lying and that why yes, her parents were quite angry with her behavior! If there was no report made, she could continue being a victim, have people feeling sorry for her, giving her loads of positive, soothing attention for her bad behavior. I think we should all be careful about judging the parents next door. While I don't think the situation you mention is ideal, we've all had our less than perfect parenting moments. I too forbid my difficult child from speaking specifically to the school therapists. I was in fact pretty angry that "therapy" was even going on without our knowledge. They had no idea about our difficult child's issue's. "Therapy" at the school was our difficult child lying about practically everything. My husband and I were abusive, I had brain cancer, was having surgery. I can't even remember all of it. But I do remember being totally shocked when my husband and I went to the school to demand that this "therapy" end and have this social worker sadly express her sadness at my diagnosis. I had nothing wrong with me! Things are not always what they seem, that's why I suggested calling CPS and not having the neighbor girl, nor your daughter be aware. That way the situation would be looked at and your daughter would not have the burden of knowing to carry. [/QUOTE]
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