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General Parenting
Using reward/punishment to 'untangle' diagnoses from learned behavior?
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 369768" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Exactly Allan! That is why many parents of difficult child's are finding they don't work for them. The focus too quickly turns to the reward and many kids try to get that reward changed to something bigger so it does start creating more anxiety both in arguments with parents and with the kid trying to manipulate a way to get everything for nothing. Also, when a reward is not met, many difficult child's just look at it as another place they failed in.</p><p> </p><p>You are also right on with conversation being a very important tool. Our kids have more skills in that area than we give them credit for sometimes. Who would have guessed that a 5 year old would be able to explain why school was hard in the terms that whatamess's son did? Talking to them does open up many new view points. They do see things differently than we think they do sometimes. Once we can hear and understand where they really are coming from, we have taken the most important step in trying to lead them to making the right decisions.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 369768, member: 5096"] Exactly Allan! That is why many parents of difficult child's are finding they don't work for them. The focus too quickly turns to the reward and many kids try to get that reward changed to something bigger so it does start creating more anxiety both in arguments with parents and with the kid trying to manipulate a way to get everything for nothing. Also, when a reward is not met, many difficult child's just look at it as another place they failed in. You are also right on with conversation being a very important tool. Our kids have more skills in that area than we give them credit for sometimes. Who would have guessed that a 5 year old would be able to explain why school was hard in the terms that whatamess's son did? Talking to them does open up many new view points. They do see things differently than we think they do sometimes. Once we can hear and understand where they really are coming from, we have taken the most important step in trying to lead them to making the right decisions. [/QUOTE]
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Using reward/punishment to 'untangle' diagnoses from learned behavior?
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