It seemed he had been doing well- except for sneaking to try to get cigs anyway. difficult child met went mentor yeesterday and had been doing pretty well at home with just a few times that I thought were mmore typical teen. I checked online to make sure he went to school Monday, they had him marked as tardy, I called to see how late he was (half a day or 15 mins, Know what I mean??) and they said just a few mins. Ok, not that big of a deal. Then, he told me that he'd seen his friend at school Monday- the one he'd been out with all night both times and the boy had gotten caught by his mother and step-father for drugs and when confronted, the boy told them "well, I'm already in trouble so I might as well smoke a cig" (which he's not allowed to do either), so after a scuffle over that, they sent him to spend spring break at his father's house and the father worked his butt off. Then difficult child was supposed to go on a field trip with JROTC today and said he needed $5, I had seen the paper and this was true, but it also said to be at school at a certain time this morning in uniform. difficult child assured me he had changed that and said not to wear uniform. OK. difficult child had said friend was not going on this field trip. difficult child had talked to mentor last night about his interest in all this. So, this morning I get up to take difficult child to school early for the field trip as planned. He appeared ready to go but fidgety. I had time for a cup of coffee at the computer first, he said he was going, I said I needed to take him, he said "I know". He took garbage out. I ssit down at computer and find he's been on porn- apparently he's getting up real early and doing stuff. Anyway, after I had my cup of coffee, I find he never came back in the house so I call for him and look- he's nowhere to be found. I got in the car and drive thru neighborhood. As I was coming back hoome, I see him with the friend walking so I stopped car and told him to get in. He smirked and said "I'm going to school" - we both said those things twice and he kept walking. I don't think he had any intention of going on this field trip- he juyst wanted the money. I don't know if he wasn't allowed to go on it or if he plans to skip school and try to make it people at school think he was on the field trip. He had told me this boy wasn't going on the trip and I don't think there was a chance they could walk and get there in time, and hmmm- remember the "change" that uniforms should not be worn. The only thing I can say is that at least I was able to confirm who he is sneaking around with. He has bragged a couple of times about being able to turn a little amount of money into more money- could that be anything but drugs? Then, yesterday he took 2-3 sodas out of the fridge and took them to school. I don't know if he's taking stuff from the house to sell or not. I'm wonodering if he's thinking he can deal drugs but not do enough of them himself that he can get by with it and not get caught. I can see this being typical teen stuff to a certain extent, but given difficult child's circumstances, it seems stupid to me. And even if he was a typical teen (and I know he's not), but I was wondering, how does a parent keep their own peace of mind when you are living with someone that lies and sneaks and you can't trust them? This kid would have me believe that I'm insane and imagining all this if he thought it would work. I had talked to him earlier this week when he had been telling me about the friend's parents dealing with the issue. I told him that one of the differences with him is that unlike the friend who gets into trouble but takes the punishment his parents give him, difficult child refuses to comply with his punishments and doesn't stop digging himself in deeper until the legal system is involved. But then I mentioned his damage to our house and difficult child said his friend had done that to their previous house. More and more I'm thinking this kid- the one that I had thought was a good influence on difficult child- is his partner in crime. Still, I don't think difficult child is being led astray- difficult child is being sneaky, lieing, and manipulative. But how stupid is this- he was supposed to get off house arrest today or tomorrow. Can he honestly think at this point that he won't get caught for this kind of stuff or that this time I won't report him to the PO? Whay can't he get this? How brainless can he be not to care if he's sent right back to Department of Juvenile Justice? I'm furious with him right now but then there is a part of me that thinks I'm only furious because I believed there was a possibility that he was trying and being somewhat honest so my anger is coming from disappointment and feeling duped by him. But it is so hard to give up completely on your kid- even though by his actions, it seems like his message to me is "boy, mom, you are stupid for believing me and giving me another chance". Do parents of typical teen's feel like they wouldn't trust their 15yo as far as they could throw him?