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The Watercooler
VENT/LONG Mood rings for toxicity....
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterby" data-source="post: 294111" data-attributes="member: 7083"><p>I don't think you have to get irate or angry. You at least don't have to sound like it. I thought of 2 things I would say:</p><p></p><p>1) You do realize this is my son you're talking about? I happen to love him very much.</p><p></p><p>or</p><p></p><p>2) Why do you think you can talk to me that way about my child/husband?</p><p></p><p>But, I do know how it is with some people. I'm a direct person and generally don't have a problem saying something like the above. But, there are some people where it's really just not worth the effort. I think when we know that it won't change anything except damage the relationship, but you still want the relationship, Know what I mean?? </p><p></p><p>I have a friend like this. I don't talk to her much anymore because, well, I finally got tired of everyone excusing her behavior and some other behaviors have gone over the top, and she's really failing her kids. I just can't be a part of it anymore. That filter that most people have in their brain? She doesn't have it. But if you say anything to her about it, she gets defensive, shuts down, and there is no talking about it. </p><p></p><p>I finally said, why do you think you can talk to me that way? Not in an angry or threatening tone. Just a question. It didn't stop her. She is aware now that she does it and she does try a bit harder. Sometimes. Sometimes she uses it as an excuse...a, you know me, kinda thing. In the end, like I said, I just get tired of the excuses.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterby, post: 294111, member: 7083"] I don't think you have to get irate or angry. You at least don't have to sound like it. I thought of 2 things I would say: 1) You do realize this is my son you're talking about? I happen to love him very much. or 2) Why do you think you can talk to me that way about my child/husband? But, I do know how it is with some people. I'm a direct person and generally don't have a problem saying something like the above. But, there are some people where it's really just not worth the effort. I think when we know that it won't change anything except damage the relationship, but you still want the relationship, Know what I mean?? I have a friend like this. I don't talk to her much anymore because, well, I finally got tired of everyone excusing her behavior and some other behaviors have gone over the top, and she's really failing her kids. I just can't be a part of it anymore. That filter that most people have in their brain? She doesn't have it. But if you say anything to her about it, she gets defensive, shuts down, and there is no talking about it. I finally said, why do you think you can talk to me that way? Not in an angry or threatening tone. Just a question. It didn't stop her. She is aware now that she does it and she does try a bit harder. Sometimes. Sometimes she uses it as an excuse...a, you know me, kinda thing. In the end, like I said, I just get tired of the excuses. [/QUOTE]
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VENT/LONG Mood rings for toxicity....
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