You know...the longer I sit and think about all of this the more angry I get. husband is the second of four. He has an older brother D, a younger brother S and his baby sister Di. He and his sister are the ones that do 99.9% of things for mother in law. S was, a few years ago, helping out with mother in law's grocery shopping. husband is control over everything so he would sign a check, give it and the list to S and S would go get the things on the list. Only problems were that S only did this occasionally and when he DID do it, the receipt would mysteriously come up missing and the amount of groceries in mother in law's frig and cupboards would be far less than what S said he spent. mother in law has been in the hospital for close to two weeks now. D has been up to the hospital a total of ...ummmm...let me think.......ZERO times. We (husband and I) and Di live in a town that is about 20 miles from the town in which the hospital is. All told, from our house it takes about 40 minutes to get to the hospital. S lives a couple of hours away and D.....D lives in the very same freaking town as the hospital but has yet to go. I understand not wanting to see a loved one hooked up to stuff, I do...but I don't think that's the reason, especially based on past history. He would rather sit there in his own little world and let everyone else take care of stuff he should be involved in. There are two other siblings besides husband and Di but they are either more than happy to let those two run themselves ragged doing things or don't care to help and I'm ticked. Years ago when their grandfather (with whom mother in law lived) died and they knew they would have to take care of their mother, they ALL had a family meeting. They made husband guardian, said each of them would do this, this and this, made all of these decisions and (this one is my favorite) S declared that I was not to be permitted to do anything or have any power. First of all, I WOULDN'T have power and second...why should I? She's not my mother and she has the FOUR of them. Uh huh....THAT worked out well. I think I've done more behind the scenes things for mother in law or husband on her behalf, than the two brothers have done in front of the scenes so to speak. It just really burns me that it's husband that they all turn to. Mom sick? husband will handle it. Mom need this done? husband will handle it. My marriage falling apart? husband will tell me what to do. Going into bankruptcy? husband will help. (Or I can borow money from mom behind husband's back) He gets mad and frustrated with them also but they are his family and while he may blow up at them, he keeps taking it. Drives me insane. They walk all over him, he KNOWS it but doesn't truly do anything to change it. And of course, the minute I say anything, I'm the female dog in their eyes. Although...I told husband and Di that I've made a decision. I said that I was going to play the female dog card and when the time came to clean out mother in law's apartment, husband and Di will be the ONLY ones to decide who gets what. Period. THEY are the ones who do everything and THEY should be the ones to have first choice on the little bit that is there. I really don't care what the rest of them say or think about me...I have the card to play and I'm playing it. They can deal with it or not...their choice. To be honest, there is next to nothing in the apartment but it's the point, Know what I mean?? I'm just as bad as husband though. I get mad, don't say anything and then go off (not to them though) when it builds up or something big like this happens. So....thanks for listening to one of my semi-annual rants about the in-laws!