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<blockquote data-quote="navineja" data-source="post: 161570" data-attributes="member: 4278"><p>OK sounds great to me!!! (But N is a really good swimmer and would probably jump in and follow us!)</p><p></p><p>I do agree with --ummm-smallworld?--sorry, brain fried after today- that it is not truly a logical consequence to write sentences for a tantrum (which is what it was for, not for kicking J), but I am just so out of ideas. I know that N really dislikes that and it has been a fairly decent deterrent until today. I choose positive statements for her to write that are related to whatever problem it was. (lying- I will tell the truth, tantrum- I will control myself or I can make good choices- you get the idea). </p><p>She finally did decide to cooperate and made what remained of the evening pleasant (she can be a fun kid). Unfortunately for her though, she only had about 15 min left before bed.</p><p></p><p>I am just so tired of all of this. I don't know if I did the right thing, but I took all of her stuff off her bed and the walls on her side of their room and put it up this evening while she was being obstinate. She at first didn't say anything, but then asked me why I thought that I could do whatever I wanted! (I guess she has heard that enough from us that she thought she could use it.) I told her that was not what this was about. I only have to provide her with food, clothing and shelter and all else is a privilege. If she wants the other things back, she can earn them. I explained that I will break the day into 3 parts-awakening to lunch, lunch to dinner, and dinner to bed. Nice, calm, respectful behavior in each period will be rewarded with returning one item. A full day of proper behavior will result in a bonus item. A full day of ugly behavior will result in one item being given to Goodwill. I figure that this way she has a chance at quick success (being that she is easily discouraged or overwhelmed by a lengthy task) and will feel encouraged to continue- at least I hope it works that way. husband and I kinda think that a good portion of the ugliness to Mommy is more of a habit by now than a true emotional issue, since when I tell her to try it again (when she is being rude or nasty) often times she will repeat or rephrase to speak in a nice way. So she knows what is acceptable and can do it, but the ugly is automatic. In husband's words, we have to find out how to "reprogram" her.</p><p>Ok I have babbled enough for now. Thanks to all of you for being on this board and being someone that I can talk to who doesn't think that I am the world's worst mom to be so strict on "two little angels". You all have been there done that and I treasure your advice and experience.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="navineja, post: 161570, member: 4278"] OK sounds great to me!!! (But N is a really good swimmer and would probably jump in and follow us!) I do agree with --ummm-smallworld?--sorry, brain fried after today- that it is not truly a logical consequence to write sentences for a tantrum (which is what it was for, not for kicking J), but I am just so out of ideas. I know that N really dislikes that and it has been a fairly decent deterrent until today. I choose positive statements for her to write that are related to whatever problem it was. (lying- I will tell the truth, tantrum- I will control myself or I can make good choices- you get the idea). She finally did decide to cooperate and made what remained of the evening pleasant (she can be a fun kid). Unfortunately for her though, she only had about 15 min left before bed. I am just so tired of all of this. I don't know if I did the right thing, but I took all of her stuff off her bed and the walls on her side of their room and put it up this evening while she was being obstinate. She at first didn't say anything, but then asked me why I thought that I could do whatever I wanted! (I guess she has heard that enough from us that she thought she could use it.) I told her that was not what this was about. I only have to provide her with food, clothing and shelter and all else is a privilege. If she wants the other things back, she can earn them. I explained that I will break the day into 3 parts-awakening to lunch, lunch to dinner, and dinner to bed. Nice, calm, respectful behavior in each period will be rewarded with returning one item. A full day of proper behavior will result in a bonus item. A full day of ugly behavior will result in one item being given to Goodwill. I figure that this way she has a chance at quick success (being that she is easily discouraged or overwhelmed by a lengthy task) and will feel encouraged to continue- at least I hope it works that way. husband and I kinda think that a good portion of the ugliness to Mommy is more of a habit by now than a true emotional issue, since when I tell her to try it again (when she is being rude or nasty) often times she will repeat or rephrase to speak in a nice way. So she knows what is acceptable and can do it, but the ugly is automatic. In husband's words, we have to find out how to "reprogram" her. Ok I have babbled enough for now. Thanks to all of you for being on this board and being someone that I can talk to who doesn't think that I am the world's worst mom to be so strict on "two little angels". You all have been there done that and I treasure your advice and experience. [/QUOTE]
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