Vent: Waiting for my dogs to get called to the sanctuary is torture...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by MidwestMom, Dec 7, 2012.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Every day all three dogs greet me at the door with wagging tales and licks, which breaks my heart. I wish it wasn't taking so long for them to get to the top of the list. Their life will be much better there and our rental home will finally be free of the constant marking/pooping/fighting.

    Every time I see my dogs, I feel like crying because I know that even though they are going to a nice place and that they could even get adopted (maybe adopters who go to that place enjoy challenging dogs)...they still love us and we can't talk to them and they are going to be devastated when we finally leave them at the adoption/sanctuary place. We'll also all be in tears. I have pretty much passed on Christmas presents so that I have enough money saved for their surrender fee when their names come up. My family understands.

    I cling to my one little dog (avator) who is doing great at two and who we always seperated from the other dogs so that he didn't pick up their bad behavior. Yet I feel guilty that he is staying and the others are leaving. What kind of owner am I? Why were husband and I so inept at raising dogs that they have so many behavior problems? But I know...

    Psycho foster kid killed our beloved dog when psycho kid was with us. We lived on a farm at the time and were so deeply in grief that we quickly bought three puppies, not thinking about their gender, how to train them, or anything other than trying to stop our grief by overwhelming ourselves with three other dogs. At the time, hub and I were dealing with two very young kids and one drugged up teenager. We were not into dogs and didn't really know how to be good owners. Through the years, as I came to love dogs, I have studied how to train and raise well behaved dogs (and I saw why mine were not). That's good for the little dog (Damian) because we got him two years ago and started training him right away, but that's bad for the older dogs...and because we rent, they can't stay here as the peeing and pooping gets worse and the things the dogs pee on slowly waste away...

    I don't really need anything from any of you. This is just a vent with much regret on my part. And I'm feeling very sad about the dogs. I will miss them all. Aside from the peeing and pooping, they are wonderful dogs to their pack...very loving.

    Ok, sob story over!
     
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    {{hugs}}

    Loving dogs like yours... are VERY likely to end up in very loving homes... in their cases, probably farm or acreage settings where some behaviours don't matter. Yes, there are people who would rather turn around a challenging (but loving) dog, than to start with a puppy. And the emphasis being on LOVING... dogs who are safe for kids (and others) to be around is a huge, important factor for many people who adopt older dogs.

    If you were still living rural, it wouldn't be the same issue. You know that. Life has changed for YOU... and I've known families with very well trained - but very outdoor - dogs, who had to be adopted out when the family had to switch from rural to condo-style urban... there was no way the dog could make the switch. It is NOT because you were deficient as a dog owner. It's just one of those parts of life that isn't fair to anyone... but there will likely be a silver lining.

    There WILL be a silver lining.
    It just stinks that it has to be happening over THIS part of the year...
     
  3. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    I am so sorry. I had to give up a cat before back to the shelter cause she was just mean at times. She was smart as could be just, mean at times. I have to admit I didn't much like her but I hoped that by showing her love i'de win her over, NOT. She had her own mind and I cried like a baby when I left her. I love animals, more of a dog person now, but it's hard to leave them even if you know its for the best. SHe was adopted right away. Hang in there. You must know it's the right thing. One dog will be manageable and in time you'll feel better about the decision, ecspecially when you get the carpet and stuff cleaned or replaced. I'll be praying this isn't too tough on you and that you receive some peace from this soon.
     
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    It really will be ok, but you would not be the person you are if you didn't miss them. Of course you will grieve and waiting has to be no fun at all. I would not worry about the one left though. Those little guys love their owners and you are his pack. I've always only had one dog (until JJ just came) and sometimes a cat (my buddy dog and my cat were the best of friends, played, wrestled, slept together....until my cat died a few years ago)...... Buddy loves his people, is never lonely. He is really easy going so maybe yours is different but many dog owners are one dog owners. They are super loved and spoiled. Your energy and finances will all go into that one dog. he is sooo cute too. I think you are a super responsible owner and loving to them all to make a plan like this. Many people just cut a dog loose when they dont want them anymore.

    Nothing we say will not make it sad, and I know you are not looking for anyone to fix it, I just wanted you to know I think you are doing a loving them for each one of them.

    Many hugs.....
     
  5. ctmom05

    ctmom05 Member

    I am so, so sorry
     
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I could never just give them to the pound and one of the dogs is aggressive toward people when they are in the house (he's not if we aren't in our house). None of them are good with kids. If adopted, I think they should join an older couple with the youngest kid being a teenager, but this place REALLY adopts out a lot of animals! I think seniors particularly love their pets and have time to devote to them. But even if the pack ends up staying there, it's a lovely place flowing with volunteers and a vet is the lead volunteer. There are many acres. I can't imagine giving any of these three dogs to the pound or to somebody on Craigslist.

    I'm a dog person though. After they are gone, we will probably get Damian a little pal (a fixed little girl) and train her just like we trained him. And that will be it...our only two dogs.

    I just wish their names would go to the top of the list. It is very heartwrenching to see them all the time and to know...it hurts my heart. Here is where they are going: I don't think it says they keep animals that don't get adopted, but the people who have worked there tell me that's what they do, unless an animal is terminally ill or so aggressive that none of the volunteers can get near them and neither applies to my dogs.

    http://www.nlpac.com/nlpac/catalogcat.cfm?pcid=234
     
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I think they will each find good families. I don't have much doubt of that.

    Dogs, like children, tend to find it nearly impossible to toss off learned behavior while in the same environment. This is good if the behavior is positive, it's a nightmare if it is unwanted behavior. A two edged sword. Remove the dog from the environment and it becomes much easier to retrain. (dog has to adjust to the new rules of the new pack to fit in)

    This is why I have a strong feeling after working with the folks at the rescue for a while......your furbabies will likely be adopted into loving forever homes. Maybe not with children, but there are many many people who would much prefer a furbaby than a human baby.
     
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    (((((hugs))))) I know this is hard. I know you want them to be on their next leg of life's adventures. Hard as he waiting is, once this is over you will feel good because you know they are in the best place.

    PLEASE don't keep beating yourself up. PLEASE. I know you made mistakes with these dogs. You are only human, and that is part of being human. Damian is actual, living PROOF that when you knew better, you did better. Most of us don't get to see this as clearly as you are. We are left to hope and pray that we actually fulfilled this. To pray that our better efforts truly are better and that we don't revert to past, less good, ways.

    It is hard, but maybe you can just give yourself some time to mourn them, and to enjoy the good parts of them while you have them, and to let the guilt go for a while. It sn't doing anything positive for you. Not one single thing.

    And now you know you have proof that when you know better, you do better. in my opinion that alone is reason to not be so hard on yourself.
     
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ohh, that's so sad! But you are doing the right thing. For all of you.
    We live and learn. And love.
    Someone will love your dogs. Someone who has a big fenced-in yard and a lot of time to teach them manners. You CAN teach an old dog new tricks.
    Still, you will cry when they leave. And the house will be a lot quieter.
     
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am a lousy dog owner as far as house breaking goes. I just dont know how. I have a very smart dog who learns everything else on the sun for me but simply wont learn not to potty in the house. I have found a solution that somewhat works because she has been trained to one particular area in the house so I bought a piece of outdoor carpet that I can take outside and hose off if it gets messy. I put her puppy pads down on top of the outdoor carpet but just in case she misses slightly, I can take the outdoor stuff outside and hose it down so there is no urine or poop hanging around.

    I got the idea then went looking online and you wouldnt believe the things they have for dogs who have this issue. They have puppy pads that are like cloth diapers and you just wash them over and over again. they even have actual sod for people who live in apartments or condo's!
     
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thanks all :) I feel a lot better now :)
     
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thanks so much, SFR!!!!

    In the place they are going to, no dogs are considered unadoptable (or cats). And people who like to rescue gravitate toward this place. But if my boys don't get adopted, I know this place is kind and volunteers are ALWAYS there. They get so much outside time and love a nd training.

    Nothing will stop the pain, but I hope my boys all find happy homes. They probably should not be together. They don't get along. I just wish we could do it already. It is so hard to wait and I love them so.
     
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