Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by thycamom63, Oct 27, 2007.

  1. thycamom63

    thycamom63 New Member

    I have had it. I don't know what else to do. Now I don't even have husband on my side. Most of last week difficult child and I were both sick so when I was home sick from work he was also home. I have Friday and Saturday off from work so I usually have Friday to myself. Well the last 2 Friday's he's either been sick or had doctor's appointments so no time to myself. He is constantly talking, singing, swearing just making noise of some kind and being totally disrespectful when he does it. I end up yelling at him after quietly telling him to stop about 20 times. husband got the same bug that I had and has been coming home from work and pretty much going to bed. He has been no help with difficult child. difficult child goes with me everywhere. husband has slept 90% of the day today. husband sleeps most weekends. He refuses to go to the doctor for a checkup. I know he has sleep apnea because I have it myself.
    At supper tonight difficult child went over the top on complimenting me on supper. We had leftover roast beef and mac and cheese from a box. I thanked difficult child for the compliment then he just kept going on about how it was the best thing ever and was so dramatic, then he was purposely clanking his silverware against the plates and smacking his lips. I told him to stop all of it and told him more than once. Eventually I leave the room because I can't take it.
    husband has $40 in birthday money to spend. We are completely broke and have only a couple of bucks to our name. I would have used my birthday money to gas my car or buy food. When I suggested that to husband he got all ticked off(he had asked for my opinion). He said it was his birthday money and he was going to spend it on himself.
    So tonight I'm :censored2:y because I've spent all day cleaning and dealilng with difficult child. difficult child and I went to church because I work tomorrow and can't go on Sunday. husband stayed home and slept. husband says he's going shopping. I ask that he take difficult child with him and husband gets all mad about that. Then husband tells me that I am part of difficult child's problem. That I need to stop yelling at him. What?! I don't start out yelling at him, that doesn't happen until I've told him 5 or 6 times to stop tormenting me.
    So now my husband blames me for difficult child's behavior, my parents blame me, my sister blames me, my friends and coworkers' blame me. Everyone blames me for difficult child's behaviors. If I'd just be nicer, stricter, whatever. Oh and the school things difficult child is an angel.
    I am seriously considering becoming drunk. With all my medication it won't take me much to accomplish that.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    difficult child's are hard on marriages. I think we should get some kind of warranty on difficult children so that at 50,000 words we can have them retuned to say nicer things, especially if they are going to talk constantly (all 3 of my kids have been through the constant talking phase and with both boys it was about 7 yrs of nonstop talking even all night in their sleep!)

    It if hard to be broke. We are, and it stinks. Maybe the book The Explosive Child will help, or try my fave love and logic ( the audio downloads are free and very funny.

    I am sorry your husband cannot see the need to do things for family, and that he is so depressed he sleeps all the time. It really stinks.

    I hope tomorrow is better. Can you play the quiet game with your difficult child? It is when whoever makes a noise first loses.


  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Has he ever been checked by a Neurologist? He could have something like Tourette's syndrome (all that vocalizing). I would also want him seen by a neuropsychologist to make sure he isn't on the autism spectrum. Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids tend to sing, talk to themselves, etc. and can be confused as psychotic. Do you know his birthparent's psychiatric history? Are you SURE he's doing it on purpose just to bug you?
    I have no other advice than to have this child re-evaluated by both a Neurologist and a neuropsychologist (they are different). Until you can stabilize your son (and the treatment he's getting is obviously not working), he will probably inadvertently cause a strain on your marriage. Maybe you two need marriage counseling, but I know that's expensive...
  4. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

  5. tired Cheryl

    tired Cheryl New Member

    Hi and Hugs:

    Being sick certainly doesn't help. I am sure that just exacerbated your already stressful situation. We just went through our round of the crud too. Geez, like all the other medications and doctors appointments aren't enough right? I wish that God would grant us some sort of special immunity to ward off the colds/flus since we have enough medical issues to deal with. I barely have the energy to deal with difficult child when I am well never mind when I am sick and lately I have been sick more than I have been well.

    From your signature I can see that you have had your fair share of medical woes and living with a difficult child doesn't help one's immune system does it? I laugh when people ask how I got so run down.

    I also agree that difficult children are tough on marriages. Many of us can relate to feeling the pressure of family and friends blaming us moms. It makes it all the worse doesn't it?

    But, hang in there. WE understand and don't blame you. Perhaps when you are back to your normal schedule with your Fridays to yourself you will feel better? It sounds to me like those Fridays are a well-deserved break.

    I think that all husbands tend to be alot better at keeping their birthday money "theirs."

    As for drinking, I have been too sick to even consider a drink in months but I understand how you feel. Being tormented is no fun.

    I hope things improve a bit now that you are all over your colds.


  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I think we should get some kind of warranty on difficult children so that at 50,000 words we can have them retuned to say nicer things, especially if they are going to talk constantly

    LOL! ROFL!
  7. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    What a spoiled brat! Not difficult child, husband!!! :smile:

    "It's my birthday money, and I'm going to buy something JUST FOR ME, and I'M NOT GOING TO SHARE, and Nobody loves me everybody hates me, and I'm gonna go eat worms!!!


    Sorry, I couldn't pass it up! I have some of that here too!

    Don't you love being the one worried about the bills, but they're going to go shopping for <u>their</u> present? And they'll NEVER take the kids!

    Feelin' your pain kid!!

  8. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

    My only advice is next time you get birthday money - buy a MP3 player and then you will only have to listen to what you choose to!