venting mother in law, and today's court date.

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Mom2oddson, Aug 9, 2010.

  1. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    I need to hide or vent or something. In two hours, husband will be in court (for the child support order) to see if mother in law will show up.

    This is it. Getting down to the point where we will know if she's going to keep her word or if, once again, it was all a pack of lies to keep us on her puppet strings.

    It all comes down to believing her words. Yeah....she's got a great track record. I need to keep custody but I will never interfere. ...she interferred from day one. husband pushes for custody again and she says I'll never take your kids from you. ...and she took his son. husband pushes for custody of his daughter. She says I'll never take your daughter from you. ....and she takes daughter.

    When she said that she needed child support, husband said okay. Tell me how much you want and we'll talk it out. She says I need to go through the courts. She had already started the paperwork weeks before talking to husband. Then in March when the court was recommending over a grand in support, husband tells mother in law that we can't make it with that amount. mother in law says, Oh all I want is $250-$300. I'll change the papers to say that. Today is court date and she hasn't made a move yet.

    OH.... but she did tell husband that if he got rid of me that she might change the order. Nice!

    husband was gone for so long on his last trip so that we could get to a point that we could make it. We finally got to a place where we can pay all our bills on our base pay. My weekend job provides enough money to cover gas and some groceries. Then if husband gets any Occupational Therapist (OT), we have a little bit extra.

    If the order goes through, which it looks like it will, we will start out every month $1,000 in the hole. How do you make up a grand each month?? We've cut out almost everything that we already. We've already cut our water bill by 75%, we've cut out every extra that we had. The only extra that we still have is a cable connection and during summer an internet connection for easy child.

    I'm stressed. I'm scared. I'm so angry at a mother who can throw her own son under a bus for her enjoyment.

    If/when this order gets signed today, husband will have to take another out of town trip to help cover expenses. The only out of town trip coming up is Japan....and it will be worked over the Christmas holiday. Wheee... no husband for Christmas. :sad:

    I think the hardest part right now is just having that slight bit of hope that maybe, just maybe, mother in law will have a tiny show of a heart and lower the payment like she promised.

    On the up side of all of this.... husband & I are very close. This has been drawing us together in a tight knit support of each other. We've been talking about how we can look at this storm (largest class tornado!) as an adventure! We'll make it a gift to us, a challenge and adventure. I told him that maybe on this adventure we could meet the scarecrow and tinman since we already know the wicked witch of the west :witch: He laughed, but said I can't put that on my Facebook page. shucks!

    If nothing else, two difficult child's and this site has taught me the value of a sense of humor!!

    Thank you for letting me get this out. I thought my chest was going to explode!
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Can you argue hardship and get the court to lower the payment? Do you have an attorney representing you or are you trying to do this yourself? If you do not have an attorney you MUST get one to protect yourselves. I am sure mother in law has one.
  3. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    mother in law is using the states free modification. She's using the original order from 1994 from when she first got custody of the kids. So it's all free and easy for her. She doesn't even have to show up today. The order will be granted in her favor. We checked with several lawyers (specialists in 3rd party support issues) and were told that the way the state laws are written here, there really isn't much that they can do for us except take our money from us.
  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?


    Praying for you all. mother in law included. She might need it most.
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending hugs and strength for you and your husband. Hope you didn't get soaked too badly.
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    There is a formula for child support online that you can use to figure it out but what surprises me is that there is such a gap. If you have any proof that she has said she will take the lower amounts such as emails, I would take those in because it shows that she obviously doesnt have need for the higher amount. Also they cant take your income into account and her income has to count.
  7. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    mother in law & father in law's income can't be counted because they are a third party. The bio-mom's income was taken into account even though she hasn't seen the kids in 13 years and she's on SSA. The in-laws are getting $220 from the SSA account for difficult child-S. And now they will get just under a grand from us.

    It's a done deal. And I think this might of been the final nail in the coffin for the relationship between husband and his mommy.

    The following is my facebook statement and it's how I feel:

    I feel sorry for the people whose love for money so out-weighs everything else in their lives, that they are willing to ruin a relationship with family members for money in their bank account. Those are truly the poorest people in the world.

    Thank you for being here and being a great support system. I don't know how I'd make it through some days without you, my wonderful friends!!!!
  8. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    How long do you have to pay this????
  9. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    That is the magic question. In our county, you can go to high school until your 21st b-day. And child support is goes as long as the child is an enrolled student in high school. The key word is enrolled, not attending, not passing, just enrolled.

    So, it could be until difficult child-S turns 21. Or until she drops out of school which is a child support stopper. Or until she turns 18 and moves out of the in-laws, if she does.

    So, we are planning worst case situtation, 21st b-day, but hoping that difficult child-S keeps her threat of quitting school on her 18th b-day. Or maybe we will be lucky and she'll move in with the boyfriend when she turns 18.
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry, M2OS.
  11. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    I'm sorry to hear this. I'm not up on child support laws or any of that, but this just seems terribly unfair to me.
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    That just seems like an incredibly huge amount of money for two kids. Really! 1200 bucks! We dont make much more than that now!
  13. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    It's for just ONE kid. difficult child-A is over 18 and not enrolled in school. And I agree it's too much money. husband will have to work at least 50 hours of overtime each month to cover it (if he can). And the worst part is that my in-laws make double what husband & I make.

    The money doesn't bother me as much and the betrayal to husband. This site is filled with Warrior Mom's who do whatever it takes to protect their kids. Even the ones that we've had to let go of, we would never hurt. And yet, here is a mother who is throwing away a relationship with her kid for money. WTH?? And I don't think it has as much to do with money as it has to do with trying to manipulate husband. She wants him worshipping at her feet with her being the number one female in his life. It really bugs her that husband sticks with me over her. She even yelled at him once that "You love her more than me and that's not right!!". The woman is either very twisted or maybe just a bit Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Don't know. But, in a week or two, she'll want to know why husband is mad at her and not visiting her.

    husband and I will get through this. We are sticking close to each other and supporting each other the best we can. It's not easy right now. husband is in a lot of pain. And his pain makes me angry with mother in law! But, we look at this as an adventure. Somehow things will work out, we will survive and make it through.
  14. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    If she complains that husband isn't visiting her, the logical answer is, he's too busy working three jobs and double overtime to earn the extra money the courts ordered.

  15. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How in the world can they justify that amount? 1200 for one kid? Gosh! Im trying to backwards do the math and its mind boggling.