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Venting: My "wonderful" weekend (sarcasm by the way)
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 637043" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>MWM, I moved all the posts to PE.</p><p></p><p>Wow, you had a lot going on this weekend! The good, the bad and the ugly. I can see why you slipped off the rail, or perhaps saying you were pushed might be a better way of stating it. I'm sorry the depression kicked in and the suicide thoughts, I can understand why that happened and I am so sorry you had to feel all of that.</p><p></p><p>I can relate to some of what you were feeling, I haven't slipped in to the suicide thoughts, but turning 65, having my granddaughter leave, moving out of the town I lived for 32 years and having my daughter have a warrant out for her arrest, sent me into a tailspin too, so I get it. </p><p></p><p>The getting older thing had me in a strange new arena too, I see what you're talking about. Perhaps looking at it as a life transition we haven't experienced yet would be helpful, at least that's how I am identifying it. </p><p></p><p>Those of us in our 50's and 60's on this site have been at this with our kids for a long time........and like you, some of us come from dysfunctional backgrounds........you know, in some ways, how can we NOT go off the rails sometimes? It's a lot to deal with. We're only human, and life has a lot of struggles. <em>Allowing</em> where we are at any given time helps the feelings to gently subside. Talking it out helps, like you're doing with us and will do with your therapist. Like everything else, it is what it is. </p><p></p><p>You and me and a bunch of us here have done a lot of work on ourselves, we've had therapy, changed our responses, worked through some very difficult issues and really, we've come out the other side and for the most part, enjoy a peaceful life with joy and laughter. That is a lot to be proud of and feel accomplished about. You've not only done all of that MWM, but you take all of it and use it to support others who are struggling on this path. </p><p></p><p>I also believe in karma and reincarnation. My understanding is that if we are still here then we have not accomplished our life "mission." As Pasa said, there is still a purpose. </p><p></p><p>You, like me now, are an empty nester and in our 60's, the purpose has now changed, the mission is different. It's a whole new chapter. We're in the "hallway" between the chapters in our lives and, I think, this is a big transition. A very big transition. Life transitions take a little time to maneuver through. </p><p></p><p>I feel as if I am walking through a gateway now, leaving the past behind, blessing it.............and walking through the portal in to a new arena where my energies are now directed in different and new areas.............where I am the priority. It is an entirely new adventure MWM. For whatever remaining years we have, let's meet them with passion and excitement..........live fully in the present moment and let the past go. We already did all of that........it's an ending, but also a beginning. </p><p></p><p>You've been through so much MWM, so much. Me too. Let's let it go and move into these wisdom years with grace and delight. I'm right there with you.</p><p></p><p>And, MWM, like everything in life, this too shall pass.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 637043, member: 13542"] MWM, I moved all the posts to PE. Wow, you had a lot going on this weekend! The good, the bad and the ugly. I can see why you slipped off the rail, or perhaps saying you were pushed might be a better way of stating it. I'm sorry the depression kicked in and the suicide thoughts, I can understand why that happened and I am so sorry you had to feel all of that. I can relate to some of what you were feeling, I haven't slipped in to the suicide thoughts, but turning 65, having my granddaughter leave, moving out of the town I lived for 32 years and having my daughter have a warrant out for her arrest, sent me into a tailspin too, so I get it. The getting older thing had me in a strange new arena too, I see what you're talking about. Perhaps looking at it as a life transition we haven't experienced yet would be helpful, at least that's how I am identifying it. Those of us in our 50's and 60's on this site have been at this with our kids for a long time........and like you, some of us come from dysfunctional backgrounds........you know, in some ways, how can we NOT go off the rails sometimes? It's a lot to deal with. We're only human, and life has a lot of struggles. [I]Allowing[/I] where we are at any given time helps the feelings to gently subside. Talking it out helps, like you're doing with us and will do with your therapist. Like everything else, it is what it is. You and me and a bunch of us here have done a lot of work on ourselves, we've had therapy, changed our responses, worked through some very difficult issues and really, we've come out the other side and for the most part, enjoy a peaceful life with joy and laughter. That is a lot to be proud of and feel accomplished about. You've not only done all of that MWM, but you take all of it and use it to support others who are struggling on this path. I also believe in karma and reincarnation. My understanding is that if we are still here then we have not accomplished our life "mission." As Pasa said, there is still a purpose. You, like me now, are an empty nester and in our 60's, the purpose has now changed, the mission is different. It's a whole new chapter. We're in the "hallway" between the chapters in our lives and, I think, this is a big transition. A very big transition. Life transitions take a little time to maneuver through. I feel as if I am walking through a gateway now, leaving the past behind, blessing it.............and walking through the portal in to a new arena where my energies are now directed in different and new areas.............where I am the priority. It is an entirely new adventure MWM. For whatever remaining years we have, let's meet them with passion and excitement..........live fully in the present moment and let the past go. We already did all of that........it's an ending, but also a beginning. You've been through so much MWM, so much. Me too. Let's let it go and move into these wisdom years with grace and delight. I'm right there with you. And, MWM, like everything in life, this too shall pass. [/QUOTE]
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