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Parent Emeritus
Venting, updating, just very conflicted right now.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 640128" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Some difficult children learn. Others don't even listen. Still others sometimes trash the places they are generously given to stay at by goodhearted people. It has happened on this forum often...such a story. A difficult child trashes the house or refuses to pay and takes off or does drugs in the house, even a relatives house.</p><p></p><p>You know your own difficult child best. I know my son will not listen to anything I say and do it. He may actually LISTEN and think it's good at the time, but he will never follow through. You know if your adult children are different; if they learn by experience or keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again. You know if your grown kid is reliable enough not to trash somebody's offered place of refuge or if he/she will not care if it is trashed.</p><p></p><p>I think everyone has to proceed depending on the personality of their grown child. I personally did not tell my over 18ers what to do. All of them made thier own decisions and, except for 37, figured it out on their own and did well. I would never have asked anyone I knew to house Mr. 37. He would have, at the time he was homeless, probably stolen from them, trashed the house, and maybe even trashed it on purpose. Not all difficult children would do that, but mine would have. So I never would have asked anyone to help him out. And anyone who tried (which was his own talking in a piteous way about himself) was sorry and he was thrown out of everywhere he'd been taken in until his father finally bought a condo and let him move in. And that was not smooth either.</p><p></p><p>KNOW THY GROWN CHILD <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> Do what is safe regarding THAT grown child.</p><p></p><p>It is not always safe to refer your grown child to nice people who want to help. It all depends on how badly difficult child your child is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 640128, member: 1550"] Some difficult children learn. Others don't even listen. Still others sometimes trash the places they are generously given to stay at by goodhearted people. It has happened on this forum often...such a story. A difficult child trashes the house or refuses to pay and takes off or does drugs in the house, even a relatives house. You know your own difficult child best. I know my son will not listen to anything I say and do it. He may actually LISTEN and think it's good at the time, but he will never follow through. You know if your adult children are different; if they learn by experience or keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again. You know if your grown kid is reliable enough not to trash somebody's offered place of refuge or if he/she will not care if it is trashed. I think everyone has to proceed depending on the personality of their grown child. I personally did not tell my over 18ers what to do. All of them made thier own decisions and, except for 37, figured it out on their own and did well. I would never have asked anyone I knew to house Mr. 37. He would have, at the time he was homeless, probably stolen from them, trashed the house, and maybe even trashed it on purpose. Not all difficult children would do that, but mine would have. So I never would have asked anyone to help him out. And anyone who tried (which was his own talking in a piteous way about himself) was sorry and he was thrown out of everywhere he'd been taken in until his father finally bought a condo and let him move in. And that was not smooth either. KNOW THY GROWN CHILD ;) Do what is safe regarding THAT grown child. It is not always safe to refer your grown child to nice people who want to help. It all depends on how badly difficult child your child is. [/QUOTE]
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Venting, updating, just very conflicted right now.
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