venting

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DammitJanet, Mar 14, 2007.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I have a problem. I am way behind in my property taxes on my mobile home because...well...because I have no income and I am waiting on disability to get approved. I recently got a letter saying that if something wasnt done soon that they would send me to foreclosure.

    Great.

    So I went to the bank and tried to get a loan but of course they said I couldnt get one because I have no income. My trailer is paid for but this doesnt matter.

    So the only thing I could think of was to ask Jamie if he would co-sign for me to get the loan. He said fine because he knows his dad will pay it and the amount is really not that big. As soon as I get my disability I will pay off the loan anyway.

    Jamie had absolutely no problem with doing this.

    Well step in his girlfriend. She has a big problem with it. Why we have no idea except she likes to stick her nose in all parts of everyones business. She told him she doesnt want him to do it. In fact, she told him he CANT do it. Hello, what business is it of hers what he does to help us? All he is doing is signing a paper so we can get the money. He isnt going to pay a darn thing. We will. If we died and couldnt pay off the loan my trailer goes to him and he could sell it and pay the loan off.

    What she doesnt realize is she is really getting herself off on the wrong foot with me...with her future in laws...her future mother in law...the grandmother of her child...and trust me, I have a very long memory! I dont forgive well and I carry long grudges. She wants and expects us there for her baby shower in May. Oh I dont think I will be there if this is the attitude she gives me now! Why would I? I think I will be extremely sick with something catching. In our family we help each other...we always have. Its a one for all and all for one mentality. We pull together when times are tough. We dont just sit by and watch while one of us goes through hard times. When Jamie had a paycheck lost, we sent him money we didnt have to get him through. We didnt think twice. Its what we do in this family. She needs to suck it up.

    Can you tell I dont like this girl very much right now?
     
  2. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I'm hoping Jamie had a nice little "chat" with her about family.

    I'm thinking this is one girl who, if she ever asks for money for diapers or formula, should recieve no money. Send the diapers instead. The baby needs such and such? Ok, no problem. Here's the item but you get no money. Geesh.....what a nice girl. Is she this controlling with everything that boy does?
     
  3. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Janet, there has to be some way that you can get help. Why can't you get an equity loan? That is one that uses your property as collateral. All you need to do is show them that you are insured (in the even of loss or damage to the mobile home) and you're fine. It's independent of age, of income or anything like that. If you die before paying it back, the loan and any interest is taken out of sale of the mobile home. It saves people having to ask family.

    Alternatively - are there any service organisations who would help? girlfriend sounds VERY insecure, very materialistic. With NO idea of family and how it works. Is she an only child? Did she have a deprives or damaged childhood? Why does she have no idea?

    The only child thing - we've seen it in our family. Those who married an only child have more problems in continuing to spend time with their siblings. It can get quite nasty. In cases where the only child DOES learn to fit in, it takes a great deal of adjustment. easy child's BF1 - we love him to bits, but he has not grown up with family. He's spent enough time with us to understand a lot, but we often see that he needs his own space and we leave him alone at those times. He's always polite, but there are times when we're visiting that we can see the signs, and we politely say good night, and go back to where we're staying. Now, living with easy child, is the first time he's had a home that is HIS space and it's very precious to him. easy child is an extension of that space, so he doesn't need to be apart from her as well, just her family (sometimes). A lot of only children also get possessive of their partners - not BF1, thank goodness. But this could also be an issue for Jamie's girlfriend. Hence the ultimatum (WHY do some people think ultimatums are the adult way to handle things? It's so childish, so inappropriate, so unproductive...)

    Good luck with this one, Janet. I hope you can get some sort of covering loan, soon.

    Marg
     
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Janet,
    I'm sorry girlfriend is being this way. I hope Jamie can talk to her and convince her to change her mind. Hugs.
     
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Janet

    Have you tried talking with a community action program in your area? Ours here helps with all sorts of things like these. You wouldn't believe the things they help with, and since it is still toward the beginning of the new year funds ought to still be available. Even if they can't personally help, they would be a good start to direct you to someone who can.

    Have you called the tax place (sorry brain dead tonite lol) and asked for an extention due to your circumstances? Alot of times they'll do that if it is for good reason. Yours is definately a good reason.

    girlfriend isn't very bright is she. She hasn't even married into the family yet. :nonono: Hopefully she'll get a good sound talking to in the near future. Hmmmmmm, I'm a bit amazed at how she figures she gets to control his money and tell him what to do when she's not even made it to wife statis yet. :rolleyes:

    Don't blame you a bit for venting.

    (((hugs)))
     
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well update.

    Seems Im fixing to have company. girlfriend is getting the cold shoulder from everyone including her family. Her mom and my son are coming down to see me this weekend and be here to do the paperwork on monday. Now why I need the future mom in law I dont know but ok. Seems her mom is furious with her for acting like a spoiled brat.

    Lord I didnt intend to start world war three in the family. I simply asked my son to do something that was simple as pie. It didnt even need to involve her. Sheesh.

    Now I have to clean like crazy...egads.
     
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Janet

    You did nothing wrong. They are mad at her for behaving like a spoiled child. Her behavior has nothing to do with you. I wouldn't let it bother you too much.

    I did have to chuckle about the cleaning the house comment, though. lmao I am so that way myself. :wink:
     
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