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Verbal abuse of a toddler
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 495752" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Is is possible that the parents do not realize how bad it really is? I don't 100% agree with Lisa. We all have company manners and I think many people "let their hair down" so to speak when they are home alone. It is entirely possible that they know how bad it is, or that they know how bad it is and don't know how to change it.</p><p></p><p>Often we say something and have NO clue how it sounds to others. Years ago husband and I did a parenting class out of a Children's Hospital. It was specifically for parents of kids with adhd/autism spectrum issues (not labelled that back then). The first night we talked about bosses. What makes a good one, what makes a bad one, where do we fit? We didn't answer out loud where we fit, but it gave us a lot of food for thought. </p><p></p><p>One exercise was to record yourself either as you fixed dinner, kids did homework, etc... or as you got ready to work in the morning and got your kids ready for school/daycare. WOW. NONE of us had ANY clue what we sounded like. Or what our spouses/partners sounded like. We were not all much harsher to our kids than we thought, some of us were very much into babying, giving in, etc.... It gave us some objective outside info.</p><p></p><p>Your neighbors are young. Your country is one we are not familiar with. but maybe putting a tape recorder where you hear them the clearest might help them realize? Not sure how to give it to them. maybe say you were recording sounds in your home for a project and didn't want to include this because if other's heard it then it might hurt their feelings? Just something to explain why you were taping and why you are letting them have it. </p><p></p><p>I know how hard it is to listen to abuse of a child. We had one apt above a woman and her boyfriend and their kids. The oldest boy was locked in a closet for hours at a time (we heard him begging and screaming AND the parents admitted it like it was as normal as breathing), the oldest girl was 8 and offered my husband all KINDS of things that she shouldn't even know existed, and the new baby was the king. New baby was the boyfriend's first child and a boy, so he made a big deal. this guy was into a LOT of stuff and NO ONE would do anything. I finally had ENOUGH and started having "ceremonies" on the lawn around our stairs. I found maracas and painted them black with mathematical symbols (all I could think of - pi, etc....), got some black candles, made a robe out of black cloth, would make my hair look ALL strange and would go outside and chant things like "agricola est in silva", "Ego a caput capitus quod feet". (Those mean the farmer is in the field and I have a head and feet, pretty much most of my hs Latin, lol).</p><p></p><p>That did what 19 calls to the police did not. No one in that family would draw my attention in ANY way, not even when they were in their own apartment. I worried at one point about what if the guy decided to kill the witch, so I made SURe that his girlfriend heard me talk with my mom about how much stronger I would be after death and how I could come and possess anyone I wanted to and make them do anything I wanted, etc..... It was a risk, but not more so than calling the cops.</p><p></p><p>So i know how hard it is for you. For us? Scaring them with fake voodoo meant if they abused their kdis after that, and of course they did, at least I didn't have to hear it or have it terrify my kids. We did report the abuse, MANY times, and nothing happened. One of the reasons I love where we live is because CPS actually DOES things. Not usre what they do with verbal abuse, but they deal with everything else.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 495752, member: 1233"] Is is possible that the parents do not realize how bad it really is? I don't 100% agree with Lisa. We all have company manners and I think many people "let their hair down" so to speak when they are home alone. It is entirely possible that they know how bad it is, or that they know how bad it is and don't know how to change it. Often we say something and have NO clue how it sounds to others. Years ago husband and I did a parenting class out of a Children's Hospital. It was specifically for parents of kids with adhd/autism spectrum issues (not labelled that back then). The first night we talked about bosses. What makes a good one, what makes a bad one, where do we fit? We didn't answer out loud where we fit, but it gave us a lot of food for thought. One exercise was to record yourself either as you fixed dinner, kids did homework, etc... or as you got ready to work in the morning and got your kids ready for school/daycare. WOW. NONE of us had ANY clue what we sounded like. Or what our spouses/partners sounded like. We were not all much harsher to our kids than we thought, some of us were very much into babying, giving in, etc.... It gave us some objective outside info. Your neighbors are young. Your country is one we are not familiar with. but maybe putting a tape recorder where you hear them the clearest might help them realize? Not sure how to give it to them. maybe say you were recording sounds in your home for a project and didn't want to include this because if other's heard it then it might hurt their feelings? Just something to explain why you were taping and why you are letting them have it. I know how hard it is to listen to abuse of a child. We had one apt above a woman and her boyfriend and their kids. The oldest boy was locked in a closet for hours at a time (we heard him begging and screaming AND the parents admitted it like it was as normal as breathing), the oldest girl was 8 and offered my husband all KINDS of things that she shouldn't even know existed, and the new baby was the king. New baby was the boyfriend's first child and a boy, so he made a big deal. this guy was into a LOT of stuff and NO ONE would do anything. I finally had ENOUGH and started having "ceremonies" on the lawn around our stairs. I found maracas and painted them black with mathematical symbols (all I could think of - pi, etc....), got some black candles, made a robe out of black cloth, would make my hair look ALL strange and would go outside and chant things like "agricola est in silva", "Ego a caput capitus quod feet". (Those mean the farmer is in the field and I have a head and feet, pretty much most of my hs Latin, lol). That did what 19 calls to the police did not. No one in that family would draw my attention in ANY way, not even when they were in their own apartment. I worried at one point about what if the guy decided to kill the witch, so I made SURe that his girlfriend heard me talk with my mom about how much stronger I would be after death and how I could come and possess anyone I wanted to and make them do anything I wanted, etc..... It was a risk, but not more so than calling the cops. So i know how hard it is for you. For us? Scaring them with fake voodoo meant if they abused their kdis after that, and of course they did, at least I didn't have to hear it or have it terrify my kids. We did report the abuse, MANY times, and nothing happened. One of the reasons I love where we live is because CPS actually DOES things. Not usre what they do with verbal abuse, but they deal with everything else. [/QUOTE]
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