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Verbal abuse
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 28989" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>I am a vetran of verbal abuse at the hands of my children. difficult child#1</p><p>began the "I hate you" garbage real early on. By the time she was in middle school she called me the B word almost every day until high school then I was a F----B----. That went on until I made her leave at age 21. difficult child#2 unfortunately witnessed this for his entire life. He was frightend by difficult child#1's outbursts and rages but he didn't start using the language on me until she was out of the house and he had reached puberty. His abuse of me wasn't often while he was in middle school. </p><p></p><p>Because of all the years of verbal abuse at the hands of my daughter I lost it the first time my son used it on me. I sort of had a flash foward of another 10 years of verbal abuse and I reacted. I am not proud of myself but I slapped him when he started screaming F----B----- at me for telling him to come in the house. It must have made an impression on him because he didn't do it again for about a year. When he started up again I always remained calm and just told him not to call me that and then grounded him if he continued. Unfortunately that calmness and grounding tactic never worked and the verbal abuse escalated until it became a daily thing. So in essence I sustained about twenty consectutive years of this verbal abuse at the hands of two of my 4 children. Eventually difficult child#2 turned to physical abuse on both my husband and I. (difficult child #1 had done this also). </p><p></p><p>Once husband tried to restrain difficult child after he punched husband and then bolted for the door. That ended up with difficult child going to his HS councillor and reporting husband. No charges filed, just a phone call but still very scary. So from that time on husband would just stand there and block difficult child's punches. difficult child began using drugs around this time (unknown to us as he didn't have a job nor an allowance still don't know where hegot the money). difficult child became increasingly more violent as he approached his 18th birthday culminating in the horrible events of last year. </p><p></p><p>I am definately battling PTSD. I think husband is also but to a lesser degree. I have nothing left as far as tolerance for abuse goes. Can't watch it on TV can't listen to it in any form.</p><p>I find that I now swear when angry or upset. That is something I almost never did before.</p><p></p><p>In addition I find I am emotionally numb towards both of my difficult child's. I love them but I do not trust them and never will. I won't be working on this have no intrest in being hurt again by either of them. I have a very emotionally superficial relationship with them now. I have no desire for it to be anything more. </p><p></p><p>As difficult as my PTSD symptoms can be at times, I consider myself lucky. Lucky because I can still enter into new friendships and relationships with an open heart. Lucky because I didn't sink back into the pit of dispair that my difficult child#1 and my cancer had lead me. I am determined to get past this PTSD anxiety and over active startle reflex. I am determined to be strong and healthy and not a victim but a vetran. -RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 28989, member: 2315"] I am a vetran of verbal abuse at the hands of my children. difficult child#1 began the "I hate you" garbage real early on. By the time she was in middle school she called me the B word almost every day until high school then I was a F----B----. That went on until I made her leave at age 21. difficult child#2 unfortunately witnessed this for his entire life. He was frightend by difficult child#1's outbursts and rages but he didn't start using the language on me until she was out of the house and he had reached puberty. His abuse of me wasn't often while he was in middle school. Because of all the years of verbal abuse at the hands of my daughter I lost it the first time my son used it on me. I sort of had a flash foward of another 10 years of verbal abuse and I reacted. I am not proud of myself but I slapped him when he started screaming F----B----- at me for telling him to come in the house. It must have made an impression on him because he didn't do it again for about a year. When he started up again I always remained calm and just told him not to call me that and then grounded him if he continued. Unfortunately that calmness and grounding tactic never worked and the verbal abuse escalated until it became a daily thing. So in essence I sustained about twenty consectutive years of this verbal abuse at the hands of two of my 4 children. Eventually difficult child#2 turned to physical abuse on both my husband and I. (difficult child #1 had done this also). Once husband tried to restrain difficult child after he punched husband and then bolted for the door. That ended up with difficult child going to his HS councillor and reporting husband. No charges filed, just a phone call but still very scary. So from that time on husband would just stand there and block difficult child's punches. difficult child began using drugs around this time (unknown to us as he didn't have a job nor an allowance still don't know where hegot the money). difficult child became increasingly more violent as he approached his 18th birthday culminating in the horrible events of last year. I am definately battling PTSD. I think husband is also but to a lesser degree. I have nothing left as far as tolerance for abuse goes. Can't watch it on TV can't listen to it in any form. I find that I now swear when angry or upset. That is something I almost never did before. In addition I find I am emotionally numb towards both of my difficult child's. I love them but I do not trust them and never will. I won't be working on this have no intrest in being hurt again by either of them. I have a very emotionally superficial relationship with them now. I have no desire for it to be anything more. As difficult as my PTSD symptoms can be at times, I consider myself lucky. Lucky because I can still enter into new friendships and relationships with an open heart. Lucky because I didn't sink back into the pit of dispair that my difficult child#1 and my cancer had lead me. I am determined to get past this PTSD anxiety and over active startle reflex. I am determined to be strong and healthy and not a victim but a vetran. -RM [/QUOTE]
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