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General Parenting
Very few consequences
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 147272" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>In some ways I agree with Allen-Matlem. MY values keep me from doing many things, regardless of the consequences. </p><p> </p><p>The problem is that my difficult child simply doesn't think that way. It is terribly morally wrong for someone to take something of his, but morally fine for him to take something of anyone else's. He has a whole different way of thinking about things. A way that is totally incomprehensible to me. </p><p> </p><p>Experience with this child has shown that ONLY having consequences involving hard PHYSICAL labor make a difference in his future behavior. It took HUNDREDS of hours of yard work in the HOT sun (with adequate breaks and water - NOT abuse, just work) to teach him that he could not beat someone into doing what he wanted.</p><p> </p><p>I just feel so discouraged, like I have failed in parenting him. And I simply cannot take him home - the risk of harm to my other children is far too great. I have to let go and let God in this case.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 147272, member: 1233"] In some ways I agree with Allen-Matlem. MY values keep me from doing many things, regardless of the consequences. The problem is that my difficult child simply doesn't think that way. It is terribly morally wrong for someone to take something of his, but morally fine for him to take something of anyone else's. He has a whole different way of thinking about things. A way that is totally incomprehensible to me. Experience with this child has shown that ONLY having consequences involving hard PHYSICAL labor make a difference in his future behavior. It took HUNDREDS of hours of yard work in the HOT sun (with adequate breaks and water - NOT abuse, just work) to teach him that he could not beat someone into doing what he wanted. I just feel so discouraged, like I have failed in parenting him. And I simply cannot take him home - the risk of harm to my other children is far too great. I have to let go and let God in this case. [/QUOTE]
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