I just got back a bit ago from my visit to the child psychologist. We were on a waiting list because of what happened Mon. In a nutshell, the dr. read difficult child the Riot Act. Now I'm hoping that husband can stick with-the program. He's too much of a softie--even worse than I am--like the post here where husband or boyfriend bought the doll difficult child wanted? ack!--but we're doing much better. difficult child had a lot of "buts" and was upset because I yelled at him for not getting out of bed. "I said I had a headache, but Mom said that unless I got out bed, got dressed, and went downstairs that I couldn't go to the game, and she yelled at me." (It was so obvious... he's dying of a headache, and the min. I say "game" he was up in a flash and the dr picked up on that right away.) The dr. said, "I don't know what planet you're from, but I'm from Planet Earth, and where I'm from, parents who are upset with-their kids yell at them if they're angry. Where do you get the idea that parents never yell?" Then difficult child complained that I was mean and tried to get him up another time when he had a stiff neck. The dr. burst out laughing and said, "If anyone knows anything about stiff necks it's your parents (husband is a chiro), and if they tell you to get up, even if it hurts, you've got to get up and move around and ice it. I guarantee you they will not move you if there's any risk you will be paralyzed." For anyone who is wondering, the dr and I can schedule another session alone to talk about how I can avoid escalating situations, but during this session, he focused completely on difficult child's behavior. Basically, the idea is, so what if I escalate it? I've got phonebooks in his room to tear up if he gets frustrated, or he can go in his room and yell... dr. told difficult child in no uncertain terms that everyone gets mad at their parents, but you don't block them into a room and threaten them. Period. There are other ways to deal with-anger. He said to difficult child, "NO MORE DRAMA." He basically said that the measures we've taken so far with-difficult child have not been stern enough or consistent enough. For instance, difficult child was upset because he was going to a birthday party sleepover Fri. night and I took away the sleepover, but said he could go to the party and leave early, simply because it's not fair to punish his friend on his birthday. The dr. said, "I'm surprised that your mom let you go at all, after you locked her in the bedroom and threatened her." Then he stared at me to let that sink in. Gulp. Okay, I'm a patsy. Dr. repeated several times that we are difficult child's parents and he is the kid. He spoke a bit about the pediatric hospital where he used to work (this was for my benefit as much as difficult child's... sometimes you have to speak in code in front of the kids) and that it's much more fun to sit in his ofc and talk about earning rewards. I'm going to make an appointment. with-Juv Intake and give difficult child a tour, too. I want husband to go with-us. I took notes. difficult child was upset, hurt, angry and yes, respectful. Amen. I am still looking forward to his Aspberger's testing... among other things I noticed that when the dr and I were coming up with-ideas for what difficult child could do to entertain himself now that he is with-o a computer and MP3 player, aside from following me around and harping on me, is to draw pictures of cars & bldgs. I said, "Oh, yes, like those neat pictures on your bedroom door--Happy Town and Sad Town. You did such a good job and it looks like fun." difficult child didn't like that at all and argued that he had done them with-a friend and that they collaborated... after much confusing discussion, it turned out that difficult child drew ON the pics with-his friend, and he thought I meant that he should ALTER the pics in some way, BY HIMSELF. Dr. figured it out and told difficult child that he can draw anything he wants in his own room, with- or with-o a friend and it's okay. He can start new pics from scratch. It was so literal... and so MUCH of difficult child's views are like that. Still, Asperger's kids can't corner their moms in a room with-the door shut so we've got to work on the discipline and respect... expecially since he's so close to being a teenager.