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Very sad news about klmno
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 690481" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>IB, many years ago as a young woman I went into therapy with a psychoanalyst, which lasted many years. Of all that time a few things stand out. One was his talking about parents who lose a child. (I was not a mother then. I do not know why we had the conversation or why I remember, this of all things. )</p><p></p><p>He said that it was very rarely that couples stay together following a grave illness or the loss of a child through an accident such as this. He said it was because in the course of suffering, repressed feelings emerge, those that most of us typically keep hidden from ourselves, let alone others. And once out of the bottle in a relationship, they are hard to contain. Most people move on.</p><p></p><p>I can imagine how it must have been for your parents--where one parent was actually responsible for the death of a child. Actually, I cannot imagine it.</p><p></p><p>In the 20 years before my mother's death she had a boyfriend whose grandson was killed in a motorcycle accident. There were maybe 4 kids. The mother went off the deep end. She left her husband and her other young children. She moved to Mexico where she had lived as an exchange student and married a man she had known 25 or 30 years before. She literally had to leave the life she knew in order to survive.</p><p></p><p>Heartbreaking. I guess it touches me because when my parents were divorced (I was 8) my father left us entirely. Abandoned us. As if he were dead. I adored my father. I never ever recovered.</p><p></p><p>To learn when you are small that everything is an illusion that can be destroyed, just like that; that nothing ever is safe or secure. It is like coming to believe that there is nothing except oneself. That is really how I lived my life. It is very sad how children can be hurt, and how easily it seems to be done.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 690481, member: 18958"] IB, many years ago as a young woman I went into therapy with a psychoanalyst, which lasted many years. Of all that time a few things stand out. One was his talking about parents who lose a child. (I was not a mother then. I do not know why we had the conversation or why I remember, this of all things. ) He said that it was very rarely that couples stay together following a grave illness or the loss of a child through an accident such as this. He said it was because in the course of suffering, repressed feelings emerge, those that most of us typically keep hidden from ourselves, let alone others. And once out of the bottle in a relationship, they are hard to contain. Most people move on. I can imagine how it must have been for your parents--where one parent was actually responsible for the death of a child. Actually, I cannot imagine it. In the 20 years before my mother's death she had a boyfriend whose grandson was killed in a motorcycle accident. There were maybe 4 kids. The mother went off the deep end. She left her husband and her other young children. She moved to Mexico where she had lived as an exchange student and married a man she had known 25 or 30 years before. She literally had to leave the life she knew in order to survive. Heartbreaking. I guess it touches me because when my parents were divorced (I was 8) my father left us entirely. Abandoned us. As if he were dead. I adored my father. I never ever recovered. To learn when you are small that everything is an illusion that can be destroyed, just like that; that nothing ever is safe or secure. It is like coming to believe that there is nothing except oneself. That is really how I lived my life. It is very sad how children can be hurt, and how easily it seems to be done. [/QUOTE]
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