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Very, very bad meeting...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 409453" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Back when we needed inpatient care for Wiz I didn't call our insurance (medicaid) first. I didn't think they had any in patient programs because it was hard enough to find specialists of any kind. I started with a phone book and pad of paper. I called the pastor of our church and let him know the situation and asked if the church had any programs or knew of any. He didn't know of programs but gave me names of other people who might know. I made about 20 calls over 1-2 days going through a brief explanation of what we needed and asking if they knew of any programs or knew anyone who might have info. At this point the dev pediatrician let me know that I needed to call a special # for the insurance (could have used the behav health # but this one skipped me past about 3 people) and talk to them. The person I spoke to was horrified - esp at the fact that NO ONE had even mentioned in patient care before then. She took a bunch of notes, read them back to me to make sure they were accurate, and had me hold while she got a higher up person. The higher up person gave me names of some programs and then told me that she thought the place we should go was X. She explained that they wouldnt' just keep him 3 days and release like most of the others. She had me hold and called the dev pediatrician, the pediatrician, and the psychiatric hospital. THen she told me that she would call in 1-2 hours to give us info on when he would be admitted (either the next day or the day after). </p><p> </p><p>A year and a half later when he was abusing me and refusing to turn in homework and had been hiding knives again I first spoke to the resource officer. He was leaving the house late at night to go "wander" and it scared me. The resource officer (cop stationed at the jr high) gave me a list of programs that his office knew about. It was two pages and had programs that even our therapist wasn't aware of.</p><p> </p><p>When he really went off the deep end I started calling them. Most said that he had to be in the court system before they could accept him. It is one of the reasons we started calling the cops. I also got the phone book out (had lost the list from my prior calls when we moved) and started with our pastor again. At that point I made at least 50 calls to organizations around the state over about 2 days. We have an excellent boys home for troubled kids but he was on the really young side for them. The elem school counselor knew the man in charge and gave me his # and gave him a call for me. So we were working out possible admittance when he went too far and I had to call the police. From there things sort of went on hold because the involvement of the police. To get the programs from the list I had been given years before the court had to order him to go to those programs. I couldn't even get the officers to write up a basic incident report to give to the judge - we had 2 court dates over 3 weeks and the officer kept saying he didn't have the papers to even show they responded to our home. It was CLEAR that they didn't want to deal with this and were stalling to push us into dealing with it for them or giving up and going away. So when my parents asked for him to live with them, and it was made clear that they would go to the judge and lobby for this if I said no (meaning that we had NO PRAYER of getting the court to order placement anywhere else because then they would have to pay for it), it was pointless to keep trying to find a placement. We went ahead and called off the courts and let myparents have a shot at it. It worked, in the long run.</p><p> </p><p>It may seem odd to call a pastor, but many of them have training in counseling and they are often aware of programs to help struggling kids/families. You can also reach out to Boys Town. Some civic organizations also have programs run by the state or national level - the Lions Club has a boys ranch program in our state for kids here and in some neighboring states. Even if your difficult child hasn't been in trouble with the officers at school, go and talk to the school resource officer/cop. They see kids your difficult child's age and often are aware of programs that the cop on the street or in the office may not be aware of. </p><p> </p><p>This may be the only way to find something to help. If nothing else a residential placement would give the rest of the family a chance to thrive - esp your easy child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 409453, member: 1233"] Back when we needed inpatient care for Wiz I didn't call our insurance (medicaid) first. I didn't think they had any in patient programs because it was hard enough to find specialists of any kind. I started with a phone book and pad of paper. I called the pastor of our church and let him know the situation and asked if the church had any programs or knew of any. He didn't know of programs but gave me names of other people who might know. I made about 20 calls over 1-2 days going through a brief explanation of what we needed and asking if they knew of any programs or knew anyone who might have info. At this point the dev pediatrician let me know that I needed to call a special # for the insurance (could have used the behav health # but this one skipped me past about 3 people) and talk to them. The person I spoke to was horrified - esp at the fact that NO ONE had even mentioned in patient care before then. She took a bunch of notes, read them back to me to make sure they were accurate, and had me hold while she got a higher up person. The higher up person gave me names of some programs and then told me that she thought the place we should go was X. She explained that they wouldnt' just keep him 3 days and release like most of the others. She had me hold and called the dev pediatrician, the pediatrician, and the psychiatric hospital. THen she told me that she would call in 1-2 hours to give us info on when he would be admitted (either the next day or the day after). A year and a half later when he was abusing me and refusing to turn in homework and had been hiding knives again I first spoke to the resource officer. He was leaving the house late at night to go "wander" and it scared me. The resource officer (cop stationed at the jr high) gave me a list of programs that his office knew about. It was two pages and had programs that even our therapist wasn't aware of. When he really went off the deep end I started calling them. Most said that he had to be in the court system before they could accept him. It is one of the reasons we started calling the cops. I also got the phone book out (had lost the list from my prior calls when we moved) and started with our pastor again. At that point I made at least 50 calls to organizations around the state over about 2 days. We have an excellent boys home for troubled kids but he was on the really young side for them. The elem school counselor knew the man in charge and gave me his # and gave him a call for me. So we were working out possible admittance when he went too far and I had to call the police. From there things sort of went on hold because the involvement of the police. To get the programs from the list I had been given years before the court had to order him to go to those programs. I couldn't even get the officers to write up a basic incident report to give to the judge - we had 2 court dates over 3 weeks and the officer kept saying he didn't have the papers to even show they responded to our home. It was CLEAR that they didn't want to deal with this and were stalling to push us into dealing with it for them or giving up and going away. So when my parents asked for him to live with them, and it was made clear that they would go to the judge and lobby for this if I said no (meaning that we had NO PRAYER of getting the court to order placement anywhere else because then they would have to pay for it), it was pointless to keep trying to find a placement. We went ahead and called off the courts and let myparents have a shot at it. It worked, in the long run. It may seem odd to call a pastor, but many of them have training in counseling and they are often aware of programs to help struggling kids/families. You can also reach out to Boys Town. Some civic organizations also have programs run by the state or national level - the Lions Club has a boys ranch program in our state for kids here and in some neighboring states. Even if your difficult child hasn't been in trouble with the officers at school, go and talk to the school resource officer/cop. They see kids your difficult child's age and often are aware of programs that the cop on the street or in the office may not be aware of. This may be the only way to find something to help. If nothing else a residential placement would give the rest of the family a chance to thrive - esp your easy child. [/QUOTE]
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