Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by GoingNorth, Mar 18, 2015.
Weird happening number one and religion question (not religious)
Hey, it's my cousin who's been clairvoyant, not me. Tell me! What's going on?
I can help you with-Catholicism, Unitarian Universalists, Baptists, Jehovah's Witnesses, atheism, agnosticism, and Scientology. Which religion do you have questions about?
What do I do with a rosary I was gifted with today by a very Catholic neighbour. I am an atheist, so obviously won't be using it to pray with. I am thinking of donating it to one of the Catholic churches in town to be given to a child who doesn't have one. Do churches give out rosaries in those sorts of cases? It's very pretty. Sterling silver with hematite beads and a frighteningly realistic crucifix.
Meanwhile, what is a respectful way to store the thing. Right now, I've got it wrapped in a bit of sheepskin to protect it from damage and stored in my my jewelry box.
Second weird thing. My younger sister is off the wagon again. She drunk dialled me at 2:30AM, which is why I am still up (and stewing) at this hour of the AM. Near as I can understand things, she wants to move out of the horribly expensive studio in a ritzy suburb in which she is living and into a shared rental with the pothead "artist" boyfriend she has been seeing since before her divorce from brother in law was final.
The problem here is that for them to swing the rental, her name has to be on the lease. Her credit is awful. She needs a co-signer. My mum can't do it, not due to bad credit, but due to too high a debt load to qualify. I can do it, but am risking my own ability to move downstate if she defaults. Plus, I have NEVER cosigned for ANYONE; it's been a lifelong policy of mine not to cosign. When I explained that to kittle sister, I got hit with the "if you loved me, you'd help me out."
Sister makes good money, but is way behind on bills and carries an appalling debt load.
I don't do guilt trips at all well. In fact, they anger me.
Sorry about the blank post. I was tired and thought I'd posted it, but when I came back to this, it was still sitting in the reply window.
The rosary... Simply drop it off at a Catholic church. The best way to protect it is - the way you have. Don't sweat it too much, they are meant to be used.
Stick to your guns. There is NO way you should be putting your future on the line for your sister - especially in this scenario.
It's not like she is trying to flee for her life from an abusive relationship and needs help because the hubby ruined her credit rating... there are scenarios like that where I would break my own "no co-sign" rule. But it would have to be extreme, and for a person I really trust.
You are right-don't let her guilt or bully you into co-signing anything. Sis is off the wagon so can't be trusted (why does she need a co-signer if she already has an apartment and is in presumably good standing with the management) and you don't know this guy she is moving in with anyway. If neither can afford the rent on their own, you would be a hostage to their relationship working out and them staying together to pay the rent!
Not sure about the rosary--I would probably give it back to the giver, as I am not Catholic.
Not quite sure why anyone would give a rosary to an atheist...but I just wanted to say how absolutely wonderful and sweet of you to care about treating it with respect! I'm not even Catholic and that just really touched me. I'm sure that what you've done to store it is just fine. As for the donation, I'm sure some Catholic charity would know where best to donate it. Maybe just call the local Diocese office?
As for your sister, co-signing for anyone is a sure fire way to make bad feelings worse! It sounds like she's bad with money and it might well bite you in the tuckus.
My guess would be that its a precursor to "The Talk" where they will try to "Save You". Hopefully not as I consider this to be fairly rude. Maybe they just recognized that you needed something and wanted you to have an option.
Yeah, the whole cosigning thing is probably not a good idea. If she makes that much money then she should be able to build her credit rating sufficiently to sign for herself. Stick to your guns on that and don't do it as it will probably lead to hurt feelings and money out of your pocket.
He's very elderly, and my religious beliefs, or lack thereof, have only come up in conversation a few times over the years. I have driven him to church functions in the past, so it is possible that he's forgotten. I do know that he's added me to prayer lists and the like in the past, which I don't mind if it makes him feel better.
I'll call the Diocese tomorrow and make arrangements for rehoming the rosary.
I have NO intention of co-signing anything for my sister. I'm more concerned about her drinking again, especially to the point that she phoned me at that hour of the AM. She doesn't manage money well, and as far as I'm concerned, needs to get out of the hole she got herself into on her own. Part of it is the divorce, but part of it is a long-standing pattern of mismanagement.
Would you consider just keeping the rosary as a remembrance of a gift from a kind neighbor? That was really nice of him to give it to you, and to give it away immediately seems to miss the point, although I know you don't mean it that way at all. There are plenty of rosaries to go around for people who pray the rosary, but this seems like a special gift meant just for you.
Well, I am STILL stewing over this. Especially as my mother called me because my sister called her (at a more "reasonable" hour of the AM, but still woke her up) to complain that I was angry at her and she didn't know why.
I told my mother what was going on, including the fact that my sister was loaded when she called me and what time she called me, and my mother told me that she'd chipped in a few times to help my sister make rent and that she'd already refused to co-sign on the new place.
The problem I now have is that I'm royally P.O'd and have no idea how to vent off the anger, nor how to deal with this. I don't "do" addicts real well, and my sister and her BiPolar (BP) and the addictions have been a factor in my life since our teens.
The upshot is that I called MY therapist and left a message asking her to find out about Al-anon meetings in the area. My therapist just called me back slightly freaked out as she thought I was asking for info on AA, as opposed to Al-anon. Once we got that little issue straightened, she told me that there's an open meeting tomorrow at the same center I go to for counselling, so I'm going to check that out.
Should be interesting. I'm nervous in groups, don't believe in a higher power of any kind, and plan on sitting and listening. I figure if nothing else, maybe I can pick up some pointers on doing something more useful than picking my sister up by her ears and shaking her until her teeth fall out of her head.
CJ. I was thinking about that, though it does seem rather a waste to just keep it stashed in my jewelry box since rosaries are meant to be a tool used in prayer and I don't pray.
It is a pretty thing, though.
Had to chuckle about the comment of Lil's ... yeah, why would someone do that? But you're right, he probably forgot.
You are kind and gentle.
Keep that in mind when your sister tries to guilt you into cosigning. You know that the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Just had to use a religious saying, given the context of the thread.
Jabber, you're probably thinking of a fundamentalist Protestant person here, as most Catholics I know don't try to "save" people. I grew up Protestant and am now Catholic, and there's a pretty big difference in that respect.
I feel like most people don't really think of a rosary as especially precious (unless they're made of gold or something), and they are meant to be used, but sometimes given as a keepsake or gift without any expectation of being used. We have some nice rosaries from Ireland that my mother-in-law gave us, and they're really just to look at I think.
Origami, my neighbour has never tried to convert me. Religion has only come up a few times. The first time was when we first met: he asked me what church I attended which is a common conversational "opener" up here.
Other than that, he's asked me a couple of times if I wanted to go to certain special masses with him and then gone, "That's right, I forgot." and that's been it.
A Facebook friend was kind enough to give me some information on how a device very similar to a rosary works and apparently it is a combination mnemonic and meditiative device.
I have seen my neighbour praying using his rosary many times. His is made of carved olive wood from Jerusalem, so I guess in some cases the material from which rosaries are made can have significance as well.
I am going to hold onto the one he gave me. I have other jewelry items that have significance to me that I don't wear, such as turquoise and silver items of my late husband's, that are way too big for me to wear but would be ruined by re-sizing.
Perhaps, like husband's jewelry, at some point in the future, I will find someone I want to have the rosary and will pass it on.
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