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Victimhood / Martyrdom vs Boundaries
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 636717" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>difficult child daughter says that, while the consequences of her actions, especially where her kids are concerned, leave her feeling defensive, and while she wishes none of these bad things had happened. ..she sees purpose and generational healing, a new kind of honesty and clarity for our family that needed to happen.</p><p></p><p>She relishes being the black sheep, willingly acknowledges that she doesn't think right sometimes...and says that her life journey is one she would willingly take again.</p><p></p><p>And there was a time when she had all those things that make for a settled life and found them worthless.</p><p></p><p>And I will say that while my connection to family of origin was an intellectually mandated "I can fix this" that could have gone on my whole life...my feelings for my kids were and are sincere and real and deep enough that I am coming awake and aware.</p><p></p><p>And not to sound like a dork or anything...but who is to say what is really happening here, to all of us, on a spiritual level?</p><p></p><p>I remember back when I posted about having lost my faith. No matter what happened, something worse would happen next.</p><p></p><p>I never did reach any conclusions about that.</p><p></p><p>But there is a writer, Annie Lamont, who says there are really only three prayers.</p><p></p><p>Help</p><p></p><p>Thanks!</p><p></p><p>Wow.</p><p></p><p>That has stayed with me.</p><p></p><p>Maya Angelou. She stays, too.</p><p></p><p>And all of you, all of us, here on the site.</p><p></p><p>"And a blessing lives, where hatred might have grown."</p><p></p><p>Know who wrote that?</p><p></p><p>I did, a long time ago.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 636717, member: 17461"] difficult child daughter says that, while the consequences of her actions, especially where her kids are concerned, leave her feeling defensive, and while she wishes none of these bad things had happened. ..she sees purpose and generational healing, a new kind of honesty and clarity for our family that needed to happen. She relishes being the black sheep, willingly acknowledges that she doesn't think right sometimes...and says that her life journey is one she would willingly take again. And there was a time when she had all those things that make for a settled life and found them worthless. And I will say that while my connection to family of origin was an intellectually mandated "I can fix this" that could have gone on my whole life...my feelings for my kids were and are sincere and real and deep enough that I am coming awake and aware. And not to sound like a dork or anything...but who is to say what is really happening here, to all of us, on a spiritual level? I remember back when I posted about having lost my faith. No matter what happened, something worse would happen next. I never did reach any conclusions about that. But there is a writer, Annie Lamont, who says there are really only three prayers. Help Thanks! Wow. That has stayed with me. Maya Angelou. She stays, too. And all of you, all of us, here on the site. "And a blessing lives, where hatred might have grown." Know who wrote that? I did, a long time ago. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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