Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Victimhood / Martyrdom vs Boundaries
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 637436" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>I have tried really hard to not answer this post because I didn't want to seem like I was "flaming" you, however from the first time I read your post I felt that it was written with some sort of glee as in gee wiz, (ha-ha) look what difficult child has done know, especially since you gave him permission to drive the car illegally and then you "seem" stumped as to why he felt it was OK to take it on his own. To me this says that you are getting some kind of pay off in your part in this situation - which I am not "blaming" you but just giving you food for thought to what is it really that you are "getting" from this dysfunctional situation (what is the pay off), how are you contributing to it's ongoing cycle, and what your position in this "allowing the difficult child's" from learning and advancing on to stop abusing you. It is as if for some reason you enjoy the dance. Probably, you are not even aware of this - maybe the pain is the payoff, again only you know why???? Yes, there is pain here, but are you dancing so fast so you NEVER have to really do anything about the situation. If it is all just "too much", when is it ENOUGH??? The older difficult child should have been out of your house a long time ago - seems he is only there to train the younger, giving you more time to prolong the pain. Again, not trying to blame the victim, just asking you to look inside yourself and see what is preventing you from moving forward. If younger difficult child had killed someone on the highway when you gave permission to drive illegally, you might have gotten a ton of mileage out of it, but not so much the innocent the victims of the accident.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 637436, member: 18366"] I have tried really hard to not answer this post because I didn't want to seem like I was "flaming" you, however from the first time I read your post I felt that it was written with some sort of glee as in gee wiz, (ha-ha) look what difficult child has done know, especially since you gave him permission to drive the car illegally and then you "seem" stumped as to why he felt it was OK to take it on his own. To me this says that you are getting some kind of pay off in your part in this situation - which I am not "blaming" you but just giving you food for thought to what is it really that you are "getting" from this dysfunctional situation (what is the pay off), how are you contributing to it's ongoing cycle, and what your position in this "allowing the difficult child's" from learning and advancing on to stop abusing you. It is as if for some reason you enjoy the dance. Probably, you are not even aware of this - maybe the pain is the payoff, again only you know why???? Yes, there is pain here, but are you dancing so fast so you NEVER have to really do anything about the situation. If it is all just "too much", when is it ENOUGH??? The older difficult child should have been out of your house a long time ago - seems he is only there to train the younger, giving you more time to prolong the pain. Again, not trying to blame the victim, just asking you to look inside yourself and see what is preventing you from moving forward. If younger difficult child had killed someone on the highway when you gave permission to drive illegally, you might have gotten a ton of mileage out of it, but not so much the innocent the victims of the accident. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Victimhood / Martyrdom vs Boundaries
Top