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Visit with difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 255882" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Thank you. I probably wasn't clear anyway. I was trying to say that if they think it's my fault for not holding difficult child accountable or being strict enough, they certainly were not and are not saying things to me or him or doing things to give that impression. It sure looks to me that any time I tried to hold him accountable and keep him in line, they sent the message that I was being too strict. Actually, the PO even said that once. And difficult child knew it and yes, I think he used that to the hilt. In a way, the judge ruled in my favor by holding him accountable for the knife incident, in spite of the fact that the gal was standing there telliing the judge that "this was the problem" as she is standing there pointing her finger at me and in spite of the fact that she had told difficult child earlier that it was my fault he's going to state Department of Juvenile Justice. At least difficult child told me last night not to worry- that he knew. Maybe it's just too hard for people in cyber space to see this- the GAL and PO are portraying this like I am doing or have done something to cause and justify difficult child committing all his illegal activity- like when a person abuses a child. They have this in their head. If difficult child was never going to be released, which I hope is not the case, it would not matter. It matters to me because I don't want the same situation or worse when he is released. But, some of this will go one way or another in time and the longer difficult child is out of the home.</p><p></p><p>As far as me re-grouping and trying to look forward- I think I am. Maybe I'm just not as quick about it as others. I'm continuing with my therapist, at least for the time being. I'll have to switch or stop when I go back to work full time. I went in to talk with my boss yesterday. Still, they can't take me back full time right now and I have meetings and some catching up and emotional regrouping, so I'm not quite ready for full time yet anyway. We agreed that I'll start Monday with a few hours a day. I told him I might ened up moving away and looking for full time employment out of this area. He is in agreement to give things a few weeks this way until I find out where difficult child is going and for how long and for the office to see how the work load goes to see if maybe they'll need me full time after a few more weeks. This also gives me a chance to catch up on the dogs' care, the house, I have an issue with the school we need to meet about, etc. I'll have a court date for my "show cause" about breaking the court order- actually two- an arraignment and a trial. When difficult child is going thru processing, I'll have to go in and talk to them about his social history and stuff, I was told. So, I can't commit to full time hours right now anyway. But yes, there still is some emotional processing that I have to go thru. Maybe others don't have that need- I do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 255882, member: 3699"] Thank you. I probably wasn't clear anyway. I was trying to say that if they think it's my fault for not holding difficult child accountable or being strict enough, they certainly were not and are not saying things to me or him or doing things to give that impression. It sure looks to me that any time I tried to hold him accountable and keep him in line, they sent the message that I was being too strict. Actually, the PO even said that once. And difficult child knew it and yes, I think he used that to the hilt. In a way, the judge ruled in my favor by holding him accountable for the knife incident, in spite of the fact that the gal was standing there telliing the judge that "this was the problem" as she is standing there pointing her finger at me and in spite of the fact that she had told difficult child earlier that it was my fault he's going to state Department of Juvenile Justice. At least difficult child told me last night not to worry- that he knew. Maybe it's just too hard for people in cyber space to see this- the GAL and PO are portraying this like I am doing or have done something to cause and justify difficult child committing all his illegal activity- like when a person abuses a child. They have this in their head. If difficult child was never going to be released, which I hope is not the case, it would not matter. It matters to me because I don't want the same situation or worse when he is released. But, some of this will go one way or another in time and the longer difficult child is out of the home. As far as me re-grouping and trying to look forward- I think I am. Maybe I'm just not as quick about it as others. I'm continuing with my therapist, at least for the time being. I'll have to switch or stop when I go back to work full time. I went in to talk with my boss yesterday. Still, they can't take me back full time right now and I have meetings and some catching up and emotional regrouping, so I'm not quite ready for full time yet anyway. We agreed that I'll start Monday with a few hours a day. I told him I might ened up moving away and looking for full time employment out of this area. He is in agreement to give things a few weeks this way until I find out where difficult child is going and for how long and for the office to see how the work load goes to see if maybe they'll need me full time after a few more weeks. This also gives me a chance to catch up on the dogs' care, the house, I have an issue with the school we need to meet about, etc. I'll have a court date for my "show cause" about breaking the court order- actually two- an arraignment and a trial. When difficult child is going thru processing, I'll have to go in and talk to them about his social history and stuff, I was told. So, I can't commit to full time hours right now anyway. But yes, there still is some emotional processing that I have to go thru. Maybe others don't have that need- I do. [/QUOTE]
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