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Visit with difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 255898" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Crazy, that would be true IF difficult child was not going to be coming out on parole, which the judge also ordered. His defense attny (and I verified this on Department of Juvenile Justice's website) told me that this means about 30-90 days before difficult child's release, the parole officer gets involved and so do these same attny's, gal, and judge. Someone meets with me to set up in home stuff and determine if difficult child comes home, a group home, or gets turned over to dss/my bro. If this doesn't get resolved somehow before then, it is the same or worse situation. The parole officer also works in court services unit, with the PO. The PO keeps up with things until it's turned over to the parole office. It's a different person, but same hallway and building and system. We don't know for sure yet, but according to what a staff person told difficult child, his sentence might be as short as 3-6 months. Venting here and going over all this is a cheap and painless way for me to sort thru some of this so I can articulate it better (hopefully) when I do meet with this other opeople, which is required, and it's the best hope there is that I might run across one who can be a little objective.</p><p></p><p>Still- when I think back on it- if difficult child did something unacceptable and told the PO, the PO immediately looked at me and wanted to know whateever- it was clear- I swear- even to difficult child- that she was not holding him accountable- she was trying to make me the cause of it- no matter what it was.</p><p></p><p>Also, there were mental health profs involved and their advice was not always consistent with the PO's. When it wasn't, I followed the profs. This of course tic'd PO off beyond belief.</p><p></p><p>The best thing about this situation- the state is responsible now for finding a balance between mental health care and legal consequences and no matter what works or doesn't work, they have to deal with difficult child about it- I am not there to blame for it and take focus off of what has happened and what difficult child needs. If that works- I don't know. The local detention center tdo'd difficult child to the state psychiatric hospital, which I had nothig to do with. Still, the local detention doesn't even care what that psychiatrist said or recommended. It might just be that there is no way to ever get the 2 systems on the same page.</p><p></p><p>It seems that if they were just worried that I wasn't holding difficult child accountable enough, they would have just said that- instead of being in court saying the problem was that I wasn't dealing with my own issues. The gal either can't get past that a teen rape victim doesn't necessarily need intensive therapy for the rest of their life or she thinks I have other issues but won't say what they are.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 255898, member: 3699"] Crazy, that would be true IF difficult child was not going to be coming out on parole, which the judge also ordered. His defense attny (and I verified this on Department of Juvenile Justice's website) told me that this means about 30-90 days before difficult child's release, the parole officer gets involved and so do these same attny's, gal, and judge. Someone meets with me to set up in home stuff and determine if difficult child comes home, a group home, or gets turned over to dss/my bro. If this doesn't get resolved somehow before then, it is the same or worse situation. The parole officer also works in court services unit, with the PO. The PO keeps up with things until it's turned over to the parole office. It's a different person, but same hallway and building and system. We don't know for sure yet, but according to what a staff person told difficult child, his sentence might be as short as 3-6 months. Venting here and going over all this is a cheap and painless way for me to sort thru some of this so I can articulate it better (hopefully) when I do meet with this other opeople, which is required, and it's the best hope there is that I might run across one who can be a little objective. Still- when I think back on it- if difficult child did something unacceptable and told the PO, the PO immediately looked at me and wanted to know whateever- it was clear- I swear- even to difficult child- that she was not holding him accountable- she was trying to make me the cause of it- no matter what it was. Also, there were mental health profs involved and their advice was not always consistent with the PO's. When it wasn't, I followed the profs. This of course tic'd PO off beyond belief. The best thing about this situation- the state is responsible now for finding a balance between mental health care and legal consequences and no matter what works or doesn't work, they have to deal with difficult child about it- I am not there to blame for it and take focus off of what has happened and what difficult child needs. If that works- I don't know. The local detention center tdo'd difficult child to the state psychiatric hospital, which I had nothig to do with. Still, the local detention doesn't even care what that psychiatrist said or recommended. It might just be that there is no way to ever get the 2 systems on the same page. It seems that if they were just worried that I wasn't holding difficult child accountable enough, they would have just said that- instead of being in court saying the problem was that I wasn't dealing with my own issues. The gal either can't get past that a teen rape victim doesn't necessarily need intensive therapy for the rest of their life or she thinks I have other issues but won't say what they are. [/QUOTE]
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