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Visit with difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 255918" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Thank you. I will keep your words in mind and hope everyone understands- I am not sitting here without feeling some regrets and wanting to figure out what to do to make sure this doesn't happen in the future. difficult child just beamed last night when he told me he would do his time, then come home, even if I had moved. </p><p></p><p>But, it does make a difference when people are pointing the finger at you saying that his issues are your fault and when you are the one that can follow all these people's advice and will still be held financially, legally, and morally responsible. When he set the brush fire, he got probation. I got a custody case, dss involvement, $4000 restitution, loss of full-time employment resulting in loss of salary, benifits- paid vacation, sick time, and medical insurance for both difficult child and me- and Blame- for what? For letting difficult child go out and play on one of the first pretty Sunday afternoons of spring, after doubling prozac. Trust me on this one- it's more than just wanting to be a proud mother. And the "punishment" I got for his actions defininetly caused parent-child problems. For whatever reason they focused on me, I know other parents in the area whose kids have been drug addicts or stolen cars repetitively, or whatever, and the people in the system never blamed the parents.</p><p></p><p>I think there is a good possibility that they don't want to hold difficult child accountable because they know there are mental health issues involved so they automatically blame me, not seeing that maybe no one is to blame. And, I have thought of that private attny I consulted about possibly hiring to be difficult child's defense attny. He said that the only way to defend difficult child on this one was to be in a position of being against me, in so many words.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 255918, member: 3699"] Thank you. I will keep your words in mind and hope everyone understands- I am not sitting here without feeling some regrets and wanting to figure out what to do to make sure this doesn't happen in the future. difficult child just beamed last night when he told me he would do his time, then come home, even if I had moved. But, it does make a difference when people are pointing the finger at you saying that his issues are your fault and when you are the one that can follow all these people's advice and will still be held financially, legally, and morally responsible. When he set the brush fire, he got probation. I got a custody case, dss involvement, $4000 restitution, loss of full-time employment resulting in loss of salary, benifits- paid vacation, sick time, and medical insurance for both difficult child and me- and Blame- for what? For letting difficult child go out and play on one of the first pretty Sunday afternoons of spring, after doubling prozac. Trust me on this one- it's more than just wanting to be a proud mother. And the "punishment" I got for his actions defininetly caused parent-child problems. For whatever reason they focused on me, I know other parents in the area whose kids have been drug addicts or stolen cars repetitively, or whatever, and the people in the system never blamed the parents. I think there is a good possibility that they don't want to hold difficult child accountable because they know there are mental health issues involved so they automatically blame me, not seeing that maybe no one is to blame. And, I have thought of that private attny I consulted about possibly hiring to be difficult child's defense attny. He said that the only way to defend difficult child on this one was to be in a position of being against me, in so many words. [/QUOTE]
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