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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 255994" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Klmno, I am glad you are continuing to post about this, I really want to know what is happening to you. I may not always respond, because I have too little experience with this (only my sister's adopted son, years ago, and in the Aussie system where we don't have Residential Treatment Center (RTC) anyway). But I do want to know how tings are going and I'm appalled at the way you have been judged.</p><p></p><p>Appalled, but not surprised, because in this sort of judgement I DO have experience. I copped it when difficult child 1 was younger, his pediatrician was a wannabe shrink who decided to practice his amateur psychiatry on me, and was beginning to blame me for difficult child 1's "problems" which he had already doiagnosed as ADHD. Then he began sayingthat difficult child 1 was suffering form depression as a result of having a mother whose primary problem was serious depression. I said, "What?" and asked him to explain. The doctor then referred to my physical disability, which at that time had a CFS label, and announced that because CFS was a psychiatric condition, that meant it was my way of opting out of having to achieve anything in life.</p><p>At that time, CFS had been openly and statistically demonstrated to be a PHYSICAL condition, I had the research paper form a prominient Aussie psychiatrist to prove it (a shrink who has made his name in the field of depression and who STILL insists that CFS is NOT primary depression as cause).</p><p></p><p>But what was I to do?</p><p></p><p>At the same time, I was at times depressed, purely because of the disability and having to cope with losing my career and also having a problem child. Who wouldn't be? But that was reactive depression and I was dealing with it.</p><p></p><p>So I decided I had to shut him up. I referred myself to a psychiatrist, but I looked around for someone with a functioning brain, who had either read the research or had attended seminars given by the depression/CFS expert. I found someone nearby and went to see her. I told her absolutely everything, including any problems form my childhood, as well as current problems with my son's pediatrician. She wrote in her report that although I had experienced somedepression in the past, I had dealt with it effectively and it was not now a problem, despite my PHYSICAL disability.</p><p></p><p>With that report, I was able to go back to the pediatrician and say, "Don't argue with me about whether or not I am the problem - here is a piece ofpaper form somone much more qualified than you, saying that you are wrong."</p><p></p><p>In my case the pediatrician continued to accuse me of being the problem, but due to the report, he had now lost credibility.</p><p></p><p></p><p>In my advocacy for other patients with various disabilities, I have seen the alternative reaction - where a parent was accused, and instead of standing & facing it and challenging the statement by getting an expert assessment, they chose to run and hide. They would move their child from doctor to doctor, and whenever a doctor said something the parent didn't like, of felt was a slur on the parent's character or the parent's (or child's) state of mind, the parent changed doctors. Again and again. The trouble was, long-term disability DOES lead to problems of depression and related psychological stuff and it DOES need to be addressed. it's not necessarily cause, it's effect. But it still needs to be addressed, not evaded.</p><p></p><p>The parent who avoids getting these things checked out, risks beinglabelled as the problem. Maybe even after getting the checks done, they can still be blamed; but not with the same degree of certainty.</p><p></p><p>Confront the accusation by gathering evidence that it is wrong. You shouldn't have to prove your sanity, or your state of mental health or ability/willingness to help your son, but since it has been challenged - then go ahead, call their bluff. A clean bill of mental health, in writing, from a psychiatrist, should shut up the PO and the GAL. If it doesn't shut them up - then every time they open their mouths, they will be displaying their bias and bigotry. And even that will be a win.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 255994, member: 1991"] Klmno, I am glad you are continuing to post about this, I really want to know what is happening to you. I may not always respond, because I have too little experience with this (only my sister's adopted son, years ago, and in the Aussie system where we don't have Residential Treatment Center (RTC) anyway). But I do want to know how tings are going and I'm appalled at the way you have been judged. Appalled, but not surprised, because in this sort of judgement I DO have experience. I copped it when difficult child 1 was younger, his pediatrician was a wannabe shrink who decided to practice his amateur psychiatry on me, and was beginning to blame me for difficult child 1's "problems" which he had already doiagnosed as ADHD. Then he began sayingthat difficult child 1 was suffering form depression as a result of having a mother whose primary problem was serious depression. I said, "What?" and asked him to explain. The doctor then referred to my physical disability, which at that time had a CFS label, and announced that because CFS was a psychiatric condition, that meant it was my way of opting out of having to achieve anything in life. At that time, CFS had been openly and statistically demonstrated to be a PHYSICAL condition, I had the research paper form a prominient Aussie psychiatrist to prove it (a shrink who has made his name in the field of depression and who STILL insists that CFS is NOT primary depression as cause). But what was I to do? At the same time, I was at times depressed, purely because of the disability and having to cope with losing my career and also having a problem child. Who wouldn't be? But that was reactive depression and I was dealing with it. So I decided I had to shut him up. I referred myself to a psychiatrist, but I looked around for someone with a functioning brain, who had either read the research or had attended seminars given by the depression/CFS expert. I found someone nearby and went to see her. I told her absolutely everything, including any problems form my childhood, as well as current problems with my son's pediatrician. She wrote in her report that although I had experienced somedepression in the past, I had dealt with it effectively and it was not now a problem, despite my PHYSICAL disability. With that report, I was able to go back to the pediatrician and say, "Don't argue with me about whether or not I am the problem - here is a piece ofpaper form somone much more qualified than you, saying that you are wrong." In my case the pediatrician continued to accuse me of being the problem, but due to the report, he had now lost credibility. In my advocacy for other patients with various disabilities, I have seen the alternative reaction - where a parent was accused, and instead of standing & facing it and challenging the statement by getting an expert assessment, they chose to run and hide. They would move their child from doctor to doctor, and whenever a doctor said something the parent didn't like, of felt was a slur on the parent's character or the parent's (or child's) state of mind, the parent changed doctors. Again and again. The trouble was, long-term disability DOES lead to problems of depression and related psychological stuff and it DOES need to be addressed. it's not necessarily cause, it's effect. But it still needs to be addressed, not evaded. The parent who avoids getting these things checked out, risks beinglabelled as the problem. Maybe even after getting the checks done, they can still be blamed; but not with the same degree of certainty. Confront the accusation by gathering evidence that it is wrong. You shouldn't have to prove your sanity, or your state of mental health or ability/willingness to help your son, but since it has been challenged - then go ahead, call their bluff. A clean bill of mental health, in writing, from a psychiatrist, should shut up the PO and the GAL. If it doesn't shut them up - then every time they open their mouths, they will be displaying their bias and bigotry. And even that will be a win. Marg [/QUOTE]
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