Waiting (not so) patiently for Tuesday (appointment with doctor)

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by mavh2005, Feb 24, 2011.

  1. mavh2005

    mavh2005 Member

    difficult child is still a pain in the butt. Mouthy as can be. But the worst is, she kicked one of our foster cats, although she swears she just "acted" like she was going to kick him. Whatever, I saw you. Watched you walk right over to him and kick him. But, in difficult child fashion, I'm wrong...

    We go back to her pediatrician on Tuesday. This time I am putting my foot down. This kid has serious anger issues and is clearly depressed. I've been saying she's been depressed since 2006. No one believes me, because I'm just the "evil step mother" difficult child is just like husband.. same anger, same temper.. husband suffers from depression. Its like watching a rerun of our life before husband sought help for his depression.

    therapist is now going to start seeing difficult child twice a week, starting next week. At my insistence, just to work on the anger management issues.

    This morning BM texts me accusing us of giving difficult child a rash... but when husband talked to her about it, its now due to the medications.. Umm... hello BM, she's still on Vyvanse. Nothing has changed..

    Sorry.. had to vent.
     
  2. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Dear BM,
    Sorry you think I gave difficult child a rash -
    YOU DO THIS (insert horses hiney picture)
    To me every day.

    Sooooooo glad those days are over.

    Well almost - we're nearly done paying interest on interest for WOMAN support to DF's X who got child support "off the books" for 18 years and then - met me 6 years after their daughter turned 18 and the witch took him back to court for child support for the "college Years' plus interest on interest. YUP - when that's all paid off - she's getting a box of rare - elephant turds and a dozen dead roses or something like that with MY compliments.
     
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Star, there is actually a company that will anonymously send her a QUART of poop wrapped so that the recipient MUST open it to see who's name is on the card and what the card says. They do not release names and get the feces from zoos, animal shelters, etc....

    If I can find the name I will send it to you.

    mahv, I understand how frustrated and upset you are. I would be flipping out about the abuse of the animal because it is a strong predictor of future very bad behavior (criminal behavior as an adult). Push for the help difficult child needs. difficult child is lucky to have you in her corner - even if she never agrees with me.
     
  4. mavh2005

    mavh2005 Member

    Thanks Susie.. I'm very concerned for difficult child because she has left bruises on me, the incident with the cat & BM says she has slapped her halfsisiter so hard she left a handprint. So far, she hasn't had any problems in school.
     
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    mavh -

    If your step-daughter is acting out in anger to the point that she is truly a danger to others? ie- hitting you and her sister - leaving marks, bruises, cutting, breaking things and threatening bodily harm, harming animals - these are all signs that meet the criteria for her to be admitted to ANY psychiatric hospital. DANGER TO SELF AND OTHERS. You would have to really sell it to the staff at the hospital and by that I'm not saying lie - but don't down play it once you get here there either. Let them see where she has hit you, or her sister. Start a paper trail of this abuse. EVEN IF - they don't take her every time or the first FEW times you take her? KEEP taking her OR at the very least, if you don't want to go to the Emergency Room with her (which would be MY first reaction) then call the police and at least have a report made. NO it's doubtful they will take a child to jail, or even juvie - that's the beauty of calling the police at this age - you can even GO to the police station and ask them to WRITE an incident report. The good thing with those incident reports? You are creating a paper trail. Those paper trails and reports adding up?
    Eventually can get you before a judge in family court and get you SOME HELP for her. Either he can court order someone to be a caseworker for her, get court ordered counseling for her, have her placed in a facility where she gets looked at and put on medications, or gets continued counseling, or if he deems her so bad - she can even be placed outside the home in a residential care facility for a period of time until which she can get her anger under control.

    If she is leaving bruises on you and harming animals? It WILL get worse. You need to get the behaviors under control and all kidding aside with Bio-Mom? You ALL need to be on the same page about a course of treatment FOR THIS CHILD. Apparently BM knows there is something wrong. My guess would be that someone is already seeing her and has put her on Vyvance - so someone is aware she has issues and is very angry. If she's in therapy I'd ask why it isn't helping, or what else can be done to help her with her anger issues. Or like you insisted - can she come more than one time a week? I think you have a great handle on this! Bravo! Or can you all start coming as a family once a week. Hitting and acting out - not good. This kid is really angry - and she needs to learn anger management skills quick. Who is teaching her any of those? What about art therapy? Any extra cirricular activities?

    The fact that she hasn't had any problems in school is good, a lot of difficult child's function well in one place and not the other. Home good, school not. School good, and fall apart at home. Some fall apart at both places. Did she have any really good therapy when her Mom and Dad went through the divorce? Or was it just assumed she was too young to understand and it would all work out eventually? Reason I ask is because most of my sons anger believe it or not was from the divorce. I think it's only now - that he's 20 and sees what a jerk his boyfriend is - that he 'gets' why I left. His anger has subsided greatly with me - and that's some kind of a miracle - unspoken - but still a miracle.

    Hugs for your troubles. Hugs for your daughter too.
    Star
     
  6. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I'll toss in some *gentle hugs and treats* for the cat as well.
     
  7. mavh2005

    mavh2005 Member

    Star, thanks for all of your advice. I have wanted to take difficult child to the ER or even call the police. I have threatened it several times, but due to the position I am in, I feel like I cant. difficult child's therapist is just now seeing how she really is. Alot of people think husband, BM and I are crazy. The only ones who really believe us are our families and others who deal with this type of behavior.

    As far as therapy when husband and BM split, she was 2 at the time. They were never married and didn't really live together, but there have been huge custody battles since then. I have been the one to push therapy. Alot happend in difficult child's life in a short amount of time (several moves, 2 marriages, and 3 siblings born in 3 years.) And now, BM has separated from her husband and he's in rehab/jail. God this sounds like a soap opera :embarrassed:

    At Tuesday's appointment, I will bring up the anger issues and what to do if it happens again: Call the cops, take her to the ER or just ignore it... I pray we get some help and soon. I'm almost at the end of my rope. My easy child is starting to pick up her actions.........
     
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