want to be supportive

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by neighbor, Mar 20, 2008.

  1. neighbor

    neighbor New Member

    I want to tread lightly. My friend has a child who definitely has something going on. She seems to be in denial or perhaps just keeping her cards close to her chest. Please advise me on if I should just avoid them or speak about his alarming behaviors with the Mom. I have seen him hit my kids for no reason, push them underwater, hit his Mom, charge into his dog, etc. I have not seen him ever be physically affectionate. He was having BM accidents until almost 5. My husband and I are not comfortable with playdates, yet we live in a small town, one block away. The preK teacher has advised school evaluation and she declined as feels it would be biased. Her plan is to have evaluated in summer by unbiased doctor. I need help NOW understanding how to be supportive or I need to stay away altogether.
  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Since Mom and school are dealing with this, it would be most appropriate for you to stay out of it unless you are asked for your opinion by Mom.
  3. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    Are you a friend of the mom or just friendly because of the kids? If it is just the kids and you are uncomfortable with them, I would limit your interactions. If you are looking to support your friend I would express support for the summer evaluations and her way of dealing with it. I would also try to let her see that you understand a little of how hard and stressful it must be and let her know she can vent to you without it becoming gossip. Actually either way I would limit your kids exposure if they are being hurt and it isn't being dealt with.
  4. neighbor

    neighbor New Member

    Thank you for your replies. I will take a step back as we are more friends because of the kids. I also needed to be reminded about the gossip factor. It is a very small town. Good advice, I really appreciate it.